Intimacy: Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently,... - FML

By OhGeez - 08/06/2009 19:41 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 017

You deserved it 22 726

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Same thing different taste

By auto boogie man - 19/11/2015 16:44 - United States - New York

Today, at school, I was asked to play a complex piano piece in front of my class, teachers and guests. I nailed it, but what stood out most for everyone was how I apparently looked like I was being possessed while performing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 009

You deserved it 2 146

By skyhawk13 - 30/10/2009 05:11 - United States

Today, at my school's Midnight Madness, I was selected to show my school spirit in a contest. Being drunk, I decided to hump the school mascot in front of 300 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 126

You deserved it 53 894

Mesmerized

By Embarrassing - 26/06/2021 13:59 - Canada

Today, I was hypnotized and talked into telling everyone truths about myself at a show my family and I went to. I don't know what I said. All I know is that my family laughs whenever I'm near them. They won't tell me what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 196

By musicmaniac13 - 18/03/2011 19:08 - France

Today, I performed in my school's choir concert. The girl next to me started to pass out, and I grabbed her so she wouldn't hit her head. After we were done performing and the curtains closed, my choir teacher dragged me off stage and said I was getting an F for "creating a distraction". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 695

You deserved it 3 357

By Anonymous - 04/04/2014 17:26 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I was feeling adventurous and decided to freeball it to school. As I went to sit down during first class, I managed to sit on my own balls, scream, then collapse on the floor gasping. My teacher thought I was screwing around and gave me detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 087

You deserved it 20 343

By lifesucks - 24/02/2009 19:21 - United States

Today, I walked into work after being completly wasted last night. I was sitting in a meeting when all of a sudden the presenter had gotten an e-mail saying "crazy girl dances on tables at local bar". So obviously everyone wanted to watch it. That crazy girl was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 959

You deserved it 50 260

By Anonymous - 21/03/2009 03:10 - United States

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 782

You deserved it 10 406

Dozing off

By Math_Rocker - 02/09/2009 22:17 - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. Usually, people just sit still when asleep. Nope, not me. Not only had I been violently rocking and nodding my head, the teacher stopped class for everyone to see for 5 minutes as she made jokes. What woke me? The intense laughter, followed by embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 325

You deserved it 35 134

This is the future Big Tech wants

By Anonymous - 28/08/2023 22:00

Today, I was playing a virtual reality game at a gaming convention. I got so into it that I didn't realize I was screaming and flailing around in. A crowd had gathered to watch my dumbass embarrass myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 686

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 6 950

Next

Top comments

4bbaf9d3caaa8f84 20

Tuesday 9 June 2009 1:59

wow, that sucks. At least you didn't call out someone's name like your mom's, dog's, sister's etc...

FrootLoops_ 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 2:00

that must have been awkward afterwards :)

Comments

looking_glass 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 17:16

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Nuns_FTW 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 17:19

wow. could this get any more made up? seriously, hypnotism? For everyone who believes this guy, open your eyes! there is no such thing as hypnoitsm! if there was the world would go crazy

lillyass 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 17:42

maaaaan, I want to know what #23 said....... fml

likeduhhx4 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 17:55

hahahahaha. niceeeee.

fylbiath 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 18:26

im finding trouble believing that.

proudpessimist 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 19:04

wait wut was # 23???

lich_fml 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 19:41

that was one of the funniest FMLs I've read in a very,very long time.

southparkfan92 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 19:46

hahahaha oh my..tht sucks..

whyXD 13

Tuesday 9 June 2009 19:51

Well at least you didnt **********. and good for you.^^

Tsukasa_fml 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 20:06

Why would they ask something like that? They're just begging for someone to take their pants off and start jerkin' it.

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I agree, your life sucks 60 673

You deserved it 3 404

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I agree, your life sucks 1 132

You deserved it 224

Today, the cute receptionist at a restaurant asked for our coats. I call my trench coat my "tent", due to its size. When I handed it over, I jokingly said, "I have a tent for you!" She started blushing and stuttering, and it wasn't until later that I realized "tent" is a synonym for "boner". FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 021

You deserved it 2 491

Today, my son brought his new girlfriend home. I took him aside and hugged him, reassuring him that I loved and accepted him no matter his sexual preference. He looked at me confused and asked what I meant. His girl was obviously trans, but he had no idea. I didn’t know he didn’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 882

You deserved it 347

Today, my now-ex boyfriend treated our waitress like shit. She was a young lady who just came from Venezuela and barely spoke English. He gave her no tip, ranted about “fixing this goddamn border problem” along with xenophobic slurs. Apparently, he’d forgotten I’m an immigrant too, from Colombia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 144

Today, I attempted a DIY home improvement project: installing a ceiling fan. After hours of sweat and frustration, I managed to hang it up, only to realize I'd installed it upside down. Now, instead of cooling, the fan blades are dangerously close to becoming an unconventional chandelier-slash-helicopter. At least I can say my home decor is truly "uplifting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 523