Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work...

By Alex - 31/03/2009 04:41 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 748

You deserved it 89 053

Intimacy

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Same thing different taste

Phone-blocked

By unamyous - 08/06/2012 13:26 - United States - Canoga Park

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom. Her phone rang and she stopped to have an hour long conversation with her ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 629

You deserved it 4 149

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 943

You deserved it 14 908

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 656

You deserved it 10 540

By jailbirdlove - 11/10/2010 01:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. Her phone rang, and she stopped to answer it. It was her ex-boyfriend, calling her from jail. She talked to him for 15 minutes. To top it all off, before she hung up, I heard her tell him she loved him, and couldn't wait for him to get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 759

You deserved it 4 281

By Wallz99 - 19/04/2013 06:00 - Pakistan - Plot

Today, my long-distance girlfriend drunk dialed me and told me she was horny. Surprised, I exclaimed, "You're horny?" without realizing my boss was right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 344

You deserved it 23 339

By apparentlyhesbusy - 23/11/2009 05:09 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of almost a year invited me over to dinner at his house. Before leaving, I called him to let him know I was on my way. Just as he begins to tell me he'll call me back, I hear another girl in the background say, "Why don't you just tell her you're busy?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 702

You deserved it 2 869

It was a phone call

By "Cass Lyles" - 22/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was talking to my fiancé on the phone. I said "alright see you in 10 minutes babe". My boss must have thought I was talking to him because he said "alright (my name) see you later". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 806

You deserved it 280

By MID12 - 23/03/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend of nine months when she gets a phone call and decides to answer it. It was her fiancé that I knew nothing about. She told me she was engaged while I was still inside of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 610

You deserved it 8 713

By WrongPlaceWrongTime - 25/06/2016 18:51 - France

Today, my girlfriend came to my workplace to tell me she was breaking up with me. My boss, who was passing by, fired me for "chatting with friends" during work hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 339

You deserved it 818

Oh, hai!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2020 20:00

Today, sleeping in a little late, I was woken up by my phone. Still tired, I quickly checked the display to realize it was my girlfriend calling. I pick up the phone saying, "Hey baby girl!" She seemed pretty startled, so I double-checked and realized it was my new boss, who has the name as my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 642

You deserved it 524

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:37

Dumbass. Should have had a wank beforehand. Or learn to slow down when you think your about to pop. Pull out, kiss her a little, maybe try some different positions. But if this performance is anything to go by then it's not your work that your girl is annoyed with. It's the lack of ******'s she is having from you.

mich23 10

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:34

it might have been smarter to just be like, im going to turn my phone off so that i wont get any business calls, plus you plan could have backfired so much b/c she could have been like "go into work, i was just being selfish" and then you would have to leave

Comments

King_of_Kings 3

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:33

first ooh shit. that sucks. should have taken it slow

mich23 10

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:34

riddle143 15

Wednesday 9 July 2014 9:33

Or just play it off. Lay there enjoy being next to her. Throw the phone away pretending it's your boss. Tell her she's more important to you than work. Maybe that'll turn her on enough for round two and you can actually give her an ******.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:37

lilpurplekat 9

Monday 2 May 2016 14:05

honestly Idc how long my bf last, he's gotten me off in 5 minutes before. as long as I get off first everything is good. and if he doesn't get me off he kisses me and messes with me until he can go again. quality not quantity.

King_of_Kings 3

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:41

yo Jimboom, using my take it slower idea are ya? thats cool, but i said it first this time.

jsx12345 0

Saturday 9 July 2011 23:52

Go to ******* hell bitch. stop trying to act cool, you 12 year old.

kika_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:46

Hahahahaha! Wow.

Jimboom 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 12:55

Hey Kings, Yea sorry. You got their first, looks like your quick on the draw today. ;-) Still.. this guy and girl sound like they have more problems than just simply this one.

King_of_Kings 3

Tuesday 31 March 2009 13:06

#6 it's cool man. no need to apologise. i think that maybe these 2 should take a nice trip somewhere to spend some time with eachother and talk out whatever problems they have and have some real fun. what do you think?