By accidentalnorman - 07/12/2015 10:11

Spicy
Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 209
You deserved it 30 971

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Fuck your mother's life tbh

I honestly don't know how to respond to that. My brain isn't equipped to handle such information.

Comments

this comment greatly contributed to the FML, after reading this superb masterpiece I understood your point of view and suggestions

It doesn't really deserve a lack of judgement. this person clearly wanted first comment. to comment at all is forfeit your right of fair judgement. to make the first comment into something that's even just annoying it exists it to forfeit your right to having a good day. be real with yourself. these people suck. comment to be funny or to carry a conversation. not to get your profile in the viewed section.

Honestly I think this comment is perfect, I'm speechless too. Also, I don't see you contributing anything, 7.

#44's comment is a scathing indictment to the American education system. You have no idea how painful it was to read through that.

I'm really hoping English is #44's second language.

#44 your attempt to sound intellectual made my head hurt

in response to #1s superbly thought out comment.. wow

They say you try to find a girlfriend who resembles your mother.

Quite the opposite in my experience

that might be a bit to close to being the real deal...

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

I think that might make it even worse.

@17 Well this is awkward Nice profile pic, long lost brother ;)

^ Why am I laughing so hard at this, oh god

We need a location. It's probably okay if you're south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Calling it a holiday instead of a vacation means he is likely from England or at least that area over there.

Oh, bless your heart! I live below the Mason-Dixon and that is definitely not okay, here! Just a little FYI for ya. Now, have a nice day.

@51 that plus the name accidentalnorman

For everyone joke about the south there is always one peeved southerner who is so determined to tell you you're wrong

@81: Don't even bother trying to set them straight. It's a waste of time. These morons think down here's all about mudding, guns, fucking your cousins, and nothing more. Most of them have never even been anywhere in the south.

I lived in Tennessee for ten years, and have also lived in Louisiana, Alabama, and Texas :)

^^ Good for you?

Well, it was toward #81 and #90, about how I'd know nothing about the south. So yes, good for me.

I have cousins in Kentucky that had children together...sometimes stereotypes exist for a reason.

#5 the FML is pretty explicit so I don't understand what you could be confused about.

Hopefully it didn't get any more explicit than a mistaken ass-grab :P

Doubt she's confused, but saying what out of shock. I do it all of the time.

I honestly don't know how to respond to that. My brain isn't equipped to handle such information.

even reflexively that shouldn't happen

Yeah, I don't think OP has a very good excuse for this one

I can only wonder how she reacted.

Are you guys into role play?

Oedipus complexes: Mother tested, kid approved.

I flinched and cringed as I read this...I hope your children don't end up with such an awful fate as oedipus' family. poor antigone

This is definitely a brilliant card combination in cards against humanity

#67 got the CAH reference, all I can say is Ed Balls.