Intimacy: Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend....

By accidentalnorman - 07/12/2015 10:11

Today, I got back from a week long holiday with my new girlfriend. I started thinking about her whilst talking to my parents and reflexively cupped my mother's ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 229

You deserved it 31 112

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Same thing different taste

By arctic1 - 27/05/2009 09:45 - United States

Today, me and my girlfriend were heading back to her place. On the way there, she was rubbing and stroking me. When we got there, I asked her mom for a congrats hug. I forgot I had a hard on from my girlfriend. She felt it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 320

You deserved it 68 674

By bloom - 17/12/2008 04:10 - France

Today, during dinner, my new girlfriend's father stroked my leg several times under the table with his bare foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 202

You deserved it 2 413

Creeped out

By shawty - 22/08/2010 12:14 - Australia

Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 177

You deserved it 6 454

By Anonymous - 29/02/2012 10:07 - United States

Today, after getting a pat of appreciation from my girlfriend's father for taking it slow, he found me later, in her room, with my head between her thighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 568

You deserved it 49 412

By Brian - 20/11/2012 15:50 - United States - Sandston

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house having dinner with her and her parents. I was casually playing footsie with my girlfriend under the table, until her mom stopped eating and said, "You know that's my foot, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 33 305

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "my mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 947

You deserved it 4 011

By noo - 11/10/2009 10:54 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 177

You deserved it 2 422

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 14:06 - Canada

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. I was on their bed having sex with their daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 905

You deserved it 39 500

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 377

You deserved it 8 733

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 23:54 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend called me over to her house. When I knocked, no one responded to the door. I decided to check the back yard and found her sunbathing by the pool. I kneeled by her and placed my hand on her butt, kissing her neck. What I heard next, "So this is what you do with my daughter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 971

You deserved it 26 604

UnidentifiedFun 37

Monday 7 December 2015 19:15

**** your mother's life tbh

zach055 23

Monday 7 December 2015 19:07

I honestly don't know how to respond to that. My brain isn't equipped to handle such information.

Comments

stonewashed 12

Tuesday 8 December 2015 2:09

I'm always so scared I'll do that... grabbing my moms hand has been close several times!

cptncuttlefish 24

Tuesday 8 December 2015 2:27

What the ever living hell did I just read.

Lei_Aili 18

Tuesday 8 December 2015 2:58

Calm down, Oedipus.

veteran841 8

Tuesday 8 December 2015 3:11

rabid_otaku 29

Tuesday 8 December 2015 4:34

That should NOT be an instinct.

thatsjustgreat1 16

Tuesday 8 December 2015 4:34

That's going to be an interesting supper discussion.

anarchymaniac 22

Tuesday 8 December 2015 4:42

Awkward

megs925 16

Tuesday 8 December 2015 4:59

"Reflexively"?? Why is that a reflex?

AssassinBall 12

Tuesday 8 December 2015 5:38

Somebody has an Oedipus complex up in here. Did you also accidentally kill your father, then marry your mother, cause her to hang herself, stab your eyes out, and then forfeit your kingdom? ...Damn, Oedipus is one messed up story.