Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
''virginat16?'' YDI if you think there's something wrong with that.
BlaiseTheCraze 0
how do you know it was ****? the other side of that call may have been dirtier than you think
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Comments (216)
fadingaway 17
''virginat16?'' YDI if you think there's something wrong with that.
unicornscankill 0
oh good, theres at least one sane person in the world.
RC4524 0
thank goodness someone beat me to it
lunargh 7
Too right. Really OP, if you're immature enough to be embarrassed by your own virginity, you're too immature to be having sex. Bit of a catch-22, but that's how it is.
macskapingvin 0
That's a very insightful point, well said, #59.
RabenSchwartz 3
thank you!
Geekyandproud 19
I hope I'm still a virgin at 16! People are *****!
xninix_fml 36
Be proud op giving yourself to someone for the first should be with some really special. You just haven't found that one person yet :)
chippa 24
Anyone see OP's name? She's only 16...
raw_tigahh 2
yeah but at that age there is all sorts of pier pressure. especially for a girl. you should know this
chippa 24
Oh my god, peer pressure, how could I forget? It makes life sooo hard, makes it practically impossible for people to make their own, sensible decisions! /sarcasm Jeez, even if that was a legitimate issue, what would she do if she lost it, boast about it to the world? I don't even see why anyone but her would know if she was a virgin or not, and why it would matter.
jrad1982 0
pier? as in pier 1 imports. no shit there are lots of peer pressure at that age but the point is this op is 16 meaning under age and some of the comments posted on here are pretty creepy, especially coming from adults.
mintcar 10
Hahaha " pier. " HAHAHA, I needed the laugh. I've been incredibly miserable due to the fact that I've been drowning myself in Orgo for the past few days. Thanks again for the laugh. "Pier, " hahahaha.
Yaggi 0
dude, you're only 16 there's no rush on losing your virginity. your virginity is something really precious to you, once you lose it, you're never getting it back if you lose it to the wrong person, you will regret losing your virginity to that person so take your time and don't do anything reckless. Pick wisely on what you do with your actions and also on the man you are planning to lose it to.
Skroal_stomper 5
29 After reading your profile I see that most likely you are around 14-16 and still a virgin unless you count movies and your hand. Get real.
banana_buddy 6
40 after reading your profile I'm guessing you're most likely between the ages of 50-70 and still a virgin cause of your grumpy attitude and intolerance for juvenile humor.
KiaMaster 0
it's ok, you will lose it one day :)
Petawhitney 2
Please, op. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18. There's no reason to vie for the next spot on "16 and pregnant". You'll be just fine.
jrad1982 0
likes your comment
xninix_fml 36
@44 there's a button for that.
triggerit 5
17 you are wrong and old styled... to get a virginity back is easy like 123... a little surgery and **** is a virgin again...
macskapingvin 0
As I once told my friend: "You can put up a new door, but the burglars have still been in."
bread_fml 0
Way to be overly sensitive.
Angio113 10
Don't worry, chances are they are probably virgins too, if they have nothing better to do than prank call people with ****. :)
a_girl_i_know 0
You say it as if being a virgin is a bad thing.
Zombie65 0
soooooo?