Today, I got a call from a restricted number. When I answered, it was a prank call. The kids on the other end had porn on high volume and put the phone next to the speaker. Way to remind me that I'm still a virgin. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML
Today, I found out that the phone number I switched to used to host an amateur phone sex hotline. I found this out after getting several calls by teenagers, who sounded as if they were masturbating, even as I yelled that they had the wrong number. FML
Today, after getting off the phone with a client, I got horny so I put on some porn and cranked one out. After I'd finished, I realized I hadn't ended the call and neither had my client. They heard everything. FML
Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML
Today, I got a prank call. I now wish he'd call back so I can actually talk to someone. FML
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
Today, I got a call from the girl I like. I got very excited so I quickly picked up. As it turns out, she was actually prank calling me, pretending to be a "liposuction telemarketer" but forgot to press *67. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML
Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML
Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML
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Top comments
fadingaway 17
''virginat16?'' YDI if you think there's something wrong with that.
BlaiseTheCraze 0
how do you know it was ****? the other side of that call may have been dirtier than you think
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Comments (216)
thelargestidiot 0
at 40, come on be a sport, he's just messing around.
HoneyBall 3
you're 16 and still a virgin? gee, that's horrible ¬¬
hollyann777 0
I didn't lose my virginity until 21. it's very respectable that you're not just sleeping with anyone who'll take it.
imcutefml 0
hit me up im in texas :P
banana_buddy 6
boners, I'm disappointed man was expecting an uber funny comment from you on this one.
rscanlan313 0
this is just stupid
Kirsteeeeen 6
Not exactly a FML is it? You can do something about it if you want to...
thatonedame 6
that'll teach you to answer blocked numbers.
Kirsteeeeen 6
What's wrong with being a 16 year old virgin.
generalfubar 0
way to let everyone know your a virgin too dumpwad