Intimacy: Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang....

By Gwayhir - 19/11/2008 04:58 - France

Today, I was making love with my girlfriend and my landline rang. Obviously, I let it go to voicemail. At the very moment I was about to cum, I heard my mum's voice on my voicemail: "Hi sweetheart!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 071

You deserved it 4 922

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Same thing different taste

Big awkward moment

By JDLAX1924 - 05/08/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to "Listen to this voicemail." I listened to me and my girlfriend talking dirty, followed by the bed springs bouncing for three minutes. I had my phone in the pocket while I was having sex with her and it left my mom a nice voicemail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 832

You deserved it 42 646

By Maxime - 20/11/2008 10:19 - France

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 926

You deserved it 9 848

By BlackPolarbear - 23/01/2010 08:05 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. My phone started ringing and it was my Mom, she said I could answer it. As I answered the phone my girlfriend started playing with my dick. I moaned. Loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 133

You deserved it 29 773

By anonymous - 21/02/2011 05:01

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked me if I wanted to have phone sex with her. We got into it. It took us 13 minutes to figure out my mom had been on the other line the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 990

You deserved it 14 931

By Anonymous - 01/10/2009 05:56 - Canada

Today, while I was getting it on with my girlfriend I accidentally called out "Mom" instead of her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 500

You deserved it 44 100

By Anonymous - 02/08/2009 11:33 - Australia

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 009

You deserved it 57 589

Overbearing parents are the worst

By SoDead - 05/12/2020 04:01 - United States - Center Point

Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 1 742

By donkeyd - 05/02/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 890

You deserved it 2 483

By T1A2Z3 - 13/11/2018 03:00

Today, right before sex, with his dick out and the condom in one hand, the guy I was with answered a phone call from his mum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 258

You deserved it 401

High hopes

By lyssanthamum - 09/04/2009 02:35 - United States

Today, on the train, I got excited when I suddenly noticed I had a missed call and voicemail from a boy I liked. With a grin on my face, I told my friend. My dad overheard and said, "Oh sweetie, he probably had the wrong number." The voicemail was blank. I texted him. The call was indeed an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 618

You deserved it 4 447

Mannerheim 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 0:05

Haha, dude, that sucks so bad.

Sessee 4

Friday 24 April 2009 18:22

At least you didn't answer it and make your girlfriend talk to your mom like that one guy did since his mom didn't believe he was getting laid. FYL.

Comments

bowener12 0

Friday 6 February 2009 3:13

so... you gotta a nut. didnt you?

snagglepaste 0

Saturday 10 July 2010 7:20

... and i gizzed in my pants.

TheTweaker 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 2:20

#34 You spelled ***** wrong. OP atleast it wasn't your dad.

Mannerheim 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 0:05

Haha, dude, that sucks so bad.

Synthetic42 0

Tuesday 17 March 2009 1:36

oooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccccchhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

xBROKEN_SMILE 0

Saturday 4 April 2009 6:55

lmfaao.

lifeisf_ed 1

Monday 6 April 2009 23:04

omg , this is so freaking funny!! yes ur life is f'ed :)

davidcassoa 0

Sunday 19 April 2009 5:04

i'm sorry

nazooer 11

Wednesday 22 April 2009 3:25

Not an fml..

InspiredByGaGa 8

Wednesday 22 April 2009 16:44

that sucks.

Sessee 4

Friday 24 April 2009 18:22

At least you didn't answer it and make your girlfriend talk to your mom like that one guy did since his mom didn't believe he was getting laid. FYL.

alexxaxox 0

Sunday 26 April 2009 5:44

hahahahaahahaahahhahahah

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

Today, I dyed my hair blue because I’m cosplaying as Jinx from Arcane. My parents made me practically homeless because they associate hair dye with "wokeness" and they’re not having that shit in their house. I'm now staying with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 186

The Top

Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 957

You deserved it 173

Today, my parents asked if I wanted to go to military school so I said, "Yeah, that would be awesome," thinking it was a joke. They weren't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 255

You deserved it 44 028

Today, I was verbally abused by a customer at my job. Apparently, wearing "ugly, thick-framed hipster glasses as a fashion statement is a HUGE faux pas." These are my actual prescription glasses, and "faux pas" is not pronounced "fox paws". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 736

You deserved it 3 724

Today, I've become so used to being ignored, that not only can I recognize the unique physical and verbal tics (or lack thereof) that certain people have when they're not listening to me, but I can even mutter just about anything under my breath - even in public - completely confident that no one will listen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 200

Today, I met the old couple I would be house-sitting for. As I was leaving the lady stuck her fist out towards me. After a seconds awkward pause I thought she wanted to fist-bump so stuck mine out and bumped. Turned out she was handing me the key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 941

You deserved it 2 160

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 323

You deserved it 2 145

Same thing different taste

Big awkward moment

Overbearing parents are the worst

High hopes

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