By it_IS_just_me - 17/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML
I agree, your life sucks 42 245
You deserved it 9 329

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Your life is sad not because your past sex life your ex-husband's stand-up material, but because you're still Googling him years after you two split up.

1215116a 14

"She sucks so bad! Literally!"


godlybacon 5

Oh wow. At least it'll be kinda funny listening to the sketches. :3

Not really.... Maybe watching the blooper reels though...

What's the difference between OP orgasming and a horse? Horses are real.

..."oh and I tell ya, If I had nickel for every time she shaved her beaver, I'd have a penny!"

ariannaa_fml 17

67: LMFAO!!! I was gonna say something like that!!!

& why exactly were you looking him up on google? creep

Painful. I hope none of your relatives has watched his performance.

juicedboi 7

Remember that time you got out the pineapple? Yeah I bet you're regretting that right about now..

Cryingraven 1

Ouch OP... Gotta learn new skills ;)

Your life is sad not because your past sex life your ex-husband's stand-up material, but because you're still Googling him years after you two split up.

lovexbox 8

You always take the words right out of my head.

That picture is from one of the best albums of all time

jamie72596 9

Yea, everybody knows that stalking someone online is what Facebook is for...

That Brand New album is so excellent. I made a fml account just to say this.

Bro, your about me is the words "nigga fag"; nothing you say is valid ever.

1215116a 14

"She sucks so bad! Literally!"

aakasht10 0
darebear331 4

i made it 69 yesses get it?

I bet it's Walter's wife from Jeff Dunham.

bro right on how long have u been married Walter. To damn long

"Be gone Satan! Hello Shamoo..." ps. I'm guessing that's how you spell "Shamoo". Way too lazy to Google right now.

CaptainPickles72 18

You were to lazy to google shammu yet weren't lazy enough to say you're lazy enough to not look it up.

I see how that could seem a bit contradictory, but when you're on your iPhone it's a lot less effort to simply type that you couldn't be bothered to Google something than to leave FML, open your browser, go to Google, type in your search, find your answer, return to FML, hope you'll still be in the right spot and then reply. I didn't see it being worth the effort. Clearly I'm not feeling as lazy today, else I wouldn't be replying at all. Ps. To the people thumbing me down: Clearly you are not fans of Jeff Dunham and/or Walter, else you'd see past the (evidently annoying) misspelling of Shamuu and following ps and recognize the punchline of one of the funniest jokes ever. WWJD indeed...

Sorry, it's Shamu* according to Wikipedia.

well i hope u didnt have any disturbing fetish's

YDI for googling him. Creepo? Can't cut the strings?

Oh, come on, that doesn't make any sense. She would be a creep if she googled his name daily, now she was just curious about what happened to him in all those years. Curiosity is normal, even if it can kill the cat.

Lisa_Simpson_fml 5

Excuse me, but I think it's wrong to say curiosity killed the cat. If it wasn't for curiosity, we wouldn't have evolved very much! The greatest discoveries were made by the curiosity of the greatest minds! Ignorance killed the cat, curiosity was framed. ....and there's nothing wrong with Googling old flames... I still check up on Jesse Grass sometimes... Just to see how his environmentalist group is doing... Hehe.. That's all...

Lisa_Simpson_fml 5

Please excuse my double post, Maggie was crawling on my keyboard.

ah, 28, thank god maggie's not a cat, otherwise she'd be dead.

slushpup9696 12

I am going to enjoy Lisa's comments.

Make a "guest appearance" during one of his shows and knock his teeth out.

Sounds like my favorite course of action.

sounds like assault, and like you want to give him more material.

Yeah, you were probably better off before you decided to Google him.

Lisa_Simpson_fml 5

Is he as funny as Krusty? He makes a good clown for us kids, and gave us Itchy and Scratchy, but he's not a very good stand-up comic.. But stand-up comedy greatly exaggerates situations for amusement, and often involves self-deprecation, maybe he talks about his own short-comings, as well.

haha short-comings, their sex life . . .

Lisa_Simpson_fml 5

As an 8 year old girl, I surely have no clue what's so funny. Bart can't stop laughing, and saying "Ha! You said short-comings, you said sexual short-comings!"

ryanst 7

You are really into your username. It's kind of creepy.

I would think that with an IQ of 156 you would know, but then again you're too busy reading books and playing your saxophone pissing off Homer to get out much

Lisa_Simpson_fml 5

IQ measures intelligence, not knowledge. A baby can have a high IQ, as Maggie proved when she cheated on her IQ test. And I don't anger my father, almost never happens. Now go back to your cave, harassing 8 year olds with false information is bad trolling.

ryanst 7

You know, if you were really into character, you wouldn't say "Maggie cheated" you would say "My baby sister Maggie cheated," since the real Lisa wouldn't know or assume everyone knows her family and locals. Just saying.

broadway_babe1 0

maggie cheating on the IQ test didn't prove that babies can have high IQs, it proved that babies can cheat on tests ( she has also proved babies can shoot old men and scale tall buildings... I don't think she's a normal baby though. she also can't talk, even after twenty some years.)

Actually 45, she was talking the Jacob who had mentioned Homer. Thus meaning he did indeed know the family. Therefore she knew that Jacob would know that Maggie was her litter sister. You also mentioned how she talk like the character which means that you've obviously watched the show. Which means that you do know the family. lol

ryanst 7

77-Yes, but in some of her other comments she mentions Cletus and Krusty without explaining who they are. I was just giving advice on how to better be into character, since she obviously is basing her comments entirely on her knowledge of the Simpsons. I do find her comments annoying and not very funny though. But that's probably because I've watched every episode of the Simpsons like 10 times.

I find it disturbing that you pretend to be an 8-yearold girl.