Today, I Googled my ex-husband only to find that in the years since we've split he now fancies himself as a stand-up comic. His material? Our sex life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my husband of 10 years has a online blog. Excited to read about myself, I began skimming, only to find out that every entry is him explaining how he let his "soulmate" walk away 9 years ago because of his "previous commitment" and how he regrets it every day. FML
Today, I found out that my unemployed husband has his own web-comic, that he makes money off it, and that it mainly involves the main character's airhead, money-grubbing wife ruining his life. She looks strikingly like me and shares my name. FML
Today, I found out that my husband has more topless pictures of his ex on his computer than he does of me. FML
Today, I found my husband Googling Morse Code. He thinks his farts are trying to communicate with him. FML
Today, I found out my husband is still friends with someone who talks a lot of crap about me. FML
Today, my husband forgot to log out of his laptop. Out of curiosity, I checked what was on the screen. It turns out he has his own blog where he shares all the intimate details about our sex life. FML
Today, I removed all my online dating profiles. Apparently my ex-husband finds stalking me online preferable to spending time with his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I discovered my husband of 8 years has been replying to an OnlyFans models pics on Twitter. Two weeks ago, I'd found his secret Instagram that only follows two OF models, and she's one of them. He also watches her on Twitch. He doesn't know I know. We've only had sex twice in the last year because he "doesn't think about sex." FML
Today, my ex-husband listed himself as “In a relationship” with the co-worker he constantly reassured me not to worry about on Facebook. The ink on our divorce paperwork hasn’t even dried yet. We had an amicable divorce because he “just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” Now I know why. I’m sick to my stomach. FML
Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Your life is sad not because your past sex life your ex-husband's stand-up material, but because you're still Googling him years after you two split up.
1215116a 14
"She sucks so bad! Literally!"
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Comments (131)
_IHeartMusic_ 4
:(
bubo_fml 11
Heckle him @ his gigs...Tell the crowd that the real joke is between his legs!"
hbbs93 6
Sucks to suck. Literally in this case. LMAO!
heather_bunny 3
If he uses your name, you may be able to sue...
philly3d 0
Does his last name happen to be Titus?
slyace 9
Were you married to blue collar named Ron White? *Edited-Apparently i didnt know how to spell "were" >_>
coolpersonman 3
What?
oldred16 0
What's his name
DanDRoberts14 7
Just be roommates until you get situated. You don't have to be dating.
jbuckets_404 39
OP, since he was in the bed with you, he's at least half at fault, too. I.e., he was there too, so what's his excuse? :-)