Fortress of solitude
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He must have said the "...with you" part sotto voce.
The old expression is “the 7 year itch” when your spouse develops a desire for someone else. It happed to me at the 8 year mark in my first marriage. It doesn’t have to happen… Ideally both partners need to keep the relationship alive and important in their hearts. It’s not something you do just when “the itch” arises, you need to never take your relationship for granted. Things happen, there will be arguments and disappointments, life is not a fairy tale with a guaranteed happy ending. But honest and open communication and is key to preserving a marriage or relationship. But it has to be in a way that is not hostile or accusatory because that can lead to a shutdown in communication… I suspect it’s time for an honest but non-confrontational discussion with your spouse. If you found out this informative accidentally, you might bring it up. But if you were snooping when you found it, it’s not going to go well… Everyone has fantasies, it doesn’t always mean there is a relationship problem. But extended communications with the object of that fantasy is not a great sign, especially when your spouse is no longer interested in sex with you… OP, you have my sympathy - It might be worth trying a relationship or marriage counselor if you cannot talk this out with your spouse.
The problem here is not the Only Fans. It's his dishonesty with you. He can't be honest about his feelings (or lack there of) for you, he can't be honest about his activities and feels the need to hide things that don't need to be hidden in a healthy relationship. He didn't sit down to ask you how you felt about it, he just did it behind your back. Even if he stopped following Only Fans accounts, he's still an unreliable person and you should seriously consider counseling or divorce.
you need to talk to him. lay everything out in the open and let him know that you know about the of and seperate accounts. and talk to eachother truthfully. he needs to come clean on why he won't have sex with you. either you guys can work on it or you should leave it he won't be intimate with you. a sellers marriage is torture if that's not what you both want.
Keywords
He must have said the "...with you" part sotto voce.
The problem here is not the Only Fans. It's his dishonesty with you. He can't be honest about his feelings (or lack there of) for you, he can't be honest about his activities and feels the need to hide things that don't need to be hidden in a healthy relationship. He didn't sit down to ask you how you felt about it, he just did it behind your back. Even if he stopped following Only Fans accounts, he's still an unreliable person and you should seriously consider counseling or divorce.