Gross and Kids: Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops...

By Pimpleeater - 20/12/2011 07:45 - New Zealand

Today, I found out that, when mad at us, my son picks the tops off his shoulder-pimples and sprinkles them in our food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 458

You deserved it 5 670

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Same thing different taste

By imblue42 - 24/06/2015 05:16 - United States

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 241

You deserved it 3 698

By beya - 31/08/2009 22:05 - Canada

Today, I woke up to my five year old son picking off the scabs from his chicken pox and dropping them into my open mouth as I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 976

You deserved it 5 876

By George Saunders - 21/03/2012 04:06 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I accused my son of faking being sick. He then blew chunks all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 083

You deserved it 53 474

Hair-raising

By what the fuck????? - 17/02/2022 16:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while at a restaurant, I watched in horror as my daughter picked a hair out of her food and continued eating it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 240

By Sadmom - 14/09/2016 02:15 - United States - Cherry Hill

Today, I found out that my son thinks it's acceptable to use words like "on fleek" in high school level essays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 953

You deserved it 1 426

By Anonymous - 10/01/2010 10:45 - Canada

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 855

You deserved it 3 881

By eenkoekje - 13/05/2011 07:20

Today, I was called by my son's school to pick him up. Apparently, he snorted baking soda, crushed aspirin, and flour because he thought it was coke. Where did I go wrong raising this twerp? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 319

You deserved it 15 913

Dirty rice

By Dirtyrice - 24/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my 8-year-old son decided to make some rice for lunch. When we had it, I noticed a horrid gritty taste. It turns out, he puts dirt in the rice to make "Dirty Rice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 725

You deserved it 404

By lalanon - 03/04/2009 05:16 - Australia

Today, my friends were being rude to me, so I decided to be nice to a boy that didn't have many friends. While I was talking to him he popped a pimple on his face and tasted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 945

You deserved it 33 450

By amaze - 25/06/2019 02:30

Today, I discovered just how picky my son is. In addition to understandably not eating vegetables, he also doesn’t eat chicken fingers, pizza, or ice cream, along with several other foods I assumed all kids love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 612

You deserved it 344

MorningGranite 3

Tuesday 20 December 2011 11:56

Thats.....gross

ajmacrae 5

Tuesday 20 December 2011 11:58

EEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW!!!! I just threw up in my lecture when I read that

Comments

Gongo5671 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 7:02

Can somebody say EW!!!!!?

Gainer_ 6

Thursday 22 December 2011 7:14

I'd be blowing my loads in that little sh!ts breakfast!!!

FaiIingMushroom 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 10:36

Awww ewww WTF

bumnumber1 0

Thursday 22 December 2011 10:36

I'd get him put into juvinile detention for that. period.

kimberlysoileau 6

Thursday 22 December 2011 12:57

I'd tear his little shitass up! I don't care how old he is! That's ******* disgusting!

DRyankeepeach 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 13:29

That is disgusting!

dtm3 3

Thursday 22 December 2011 18:04

What a nasty f@&k!!!

coconutClaire 1

Thursday 22 December 2011 21:23

Why is he making your meals that often to have access to them?

Hammer01 8

Friday 23 December 2011 17:13

You all need help

Barn312009 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 0:11

He needs a boot the face. And proactive...

Keywords

Annoying Work Relatable Management Weird Cars Transportation Sex Love Kids Abuse Singing Roommate Music Miscellaneous Embarrassing Farts Health TV shows Animals Dogs Sports AITA Cheating Death Awkward Family Cute Money Doctor

The Top

Today, I gave a presentation to a group of international clients. Wanting to impress them, I tried to say "Thank you" in their language, which I thought was Portuguese. Turns out, I was speaking Spanish to a room full of French Canadians. Their confused faces were priceless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 664

Today, my girlfriend and I have literally had our genitals in each other’s mouths and tongues in each other’s ass cracks, yet when I used her toothbrush, I’m gross and nasty, and deserve a sex ban for two weeks. How does this make sense? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 887

The Top

Today, my girlfriend started a month-long period of not talking to me. One of her male friends, who is a self-styled astrologist, told her there are "bad omens" in our relationship for the coming weeks. I don't know if I should dump her for being gullible or just plain stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 415

You deserved it 3 769

Today, I was driving home from my friend's house and noticed this really cute girl riding her bike. She had an amazing body, beautiful blonde hair and looked like my kind of girl! About 10 minutes after I got home, my sister pulled up. She had just biked home from the hair salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 264

You deserved it 30 140

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 163

Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 792

You deserved it 3 035

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 318

You deserved it 74 516

Today, I had to go to the ER to treat a sprain on my left arm. What caused it? A phone. You read that right. A phone. Particularly, my husband’s phone. It was on the table where I was standing and with one swift motion, he yanked my arm, pulled me out of the way, and snatched the thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 801

You deserved it 91

Same thing different taste

Hair-raising

Dirty rice

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