Intimacy: Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 884

You deserved it 4 882

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Same thing different taste

By fashionVictim - 08/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 662

You deserved it 12 999

By Anonymous - 10/12/2014 08:13 - United States - Seaside

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 092

You deserved it 8 694

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 553

You deserved it 82 894

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 113

You deserved it 4 850

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 203

You deserved it 19 442

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 756

You deserved it 9 261

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 644

You deserved it 20 277

Donut eat this

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 21:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 703

You deserved it 2 152

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 27 725

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 108

You deserved it 44 510

RavensRule97 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse

UTTU 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:58

Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...

Comments

GawZ 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:06

are you implying that you like the taste of ****? good girl :)

emerica34 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 6:50

well she likes the taste of her sisters **** not just any ****

Calyx_fml 21

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:09

Technically this is sexual assault. Threaten her with making her a sex offender for life unless she does your bidding.

I_R_Genius 3

Tuesday 15 February 2011 9:38

How is this so called "sexual assualt?" Please, do tell the whole world.

ImanAzol 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:14

Was it the **** you liked, or the taste of pussy on it? Either way, what's your number?

jaymcq 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:28

hopefully it wasn't her pussy juice you liked the taste of.

Viking13_fml 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:34

yum

lilody_fml 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:50

I seriously don't know why ur sister would want u to eat her boyfriends **** cuz thats all ur post is screaming. incest maybe??? maybe wants u to join in???

parte_perdiz 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 16:21

how would that be incest? it's her sisters boyfriend. not related unless the sister is committing incest.

augusto 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 1:51

Wether he's a horse or you're anorexic and have a very thin arm, because I can't see another way you could mistake a **** ring as a candy bracelet. Either way, FYL. =/

ky765 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 2:00

im feeling a threesome coming on

LexieBabe 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 6:26

I'm feeling my dinner coming back up

Shadow_Phantom 26

Tuesday 15 February 2011 8:21

Agreeing with #57 here...

Xquisite1 28

Tuesday 15 February 2011 2:29

That's disgusting! @ imaginaryfoe it seems like WHITE siblings do that type of sick sh^t to each other not everyone else because i can cetainly trust my siblings and my children do not harm each other at all or do gross sh^t to one another. It seems like white friends and siblings do some pretty gross, mean and weird sexual shit to each other in the name of "joking". Black people don't play that way. You will get your ass kicked real quick.