Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML
Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML
Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
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Top comments
RavensRule97 0
if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse
UTTU 0
Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...
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Comments (105)
GawZ 0
are you implying that you like the taste of ****? good girl :)
emerica34 0
well she likes the taste of her sisters **** not just any ****
Calyx_fml 22
Technically this is sexual assault. Threaten her with making her a sex offender for life unless she does your bidding.
I_R_Genius 3
How is this so called "sexual assualt?" Please, do tell the whole world.
ImanAzol 4
Was it the **** you liked, or the taste of pussy on it? Either way, what's your number?
jaymcq 0
hopefully it wasn't her pussy juice you liked the taste of.
Viking13_fml 0
yum
lilody_fml 0
I seriously don't know why ur sister would want u to eat her boyfriends **** cuz thats all ur post is screaming. incest maybe??? maybe wants u to join in???
parte_perdiz 0
how would that be incest? it's her sisters boyfriend. not related unless the sister is committing incest.
augusto 0
Wether he's a horse or you're anorexic and have a very thin arm, because I can't see another way you could mistake a **** ring as a candy bracelet. Either way, FYL. =/
ky765 0
im feeling a threesome coming on
LexieBabe 0
I'm feeling my dinner coming back up
Shadow_Phantom 26
Agreeing with #57 here...
Xquisite1 28
That's disgusting! @ imaginaryfoe it seems like WHITE siblings do that type of sick sh^t to each other not everyone else because i can cetainly trust my siblings and my children do not harm each other at all or do gross sh^t to one another. It seems like white friends and siblings do some pretty gross, mean and weird sexual shit to each other in the name of "joking". Black people don't play that way. You will get your ass kicked real quick.
Xquisite1 28
No need to moderate a TRUE observation!