Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML
Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML
Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
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Top comments
RavensRule97 0
if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse
UTTU 0
Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...
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Comments (105)
dontworry101 0
That is pretty gross for real...but at least you know you like the taste lol
zman4357 0
how do you mix up the two?
taelorrae011 0
Uh Ew.
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
OP, please tell me it didn't taste like shit!! if it did then, how does your sisters ass taste like?? oh yeah, shit!! (maybe it was her boyfriends gay lover?) either way, stay away ya freak!!
fester420 2
not to worry. a penis has less germs than any other part of the body. that is unless he has VD
triggerit 5
do not worry a real **** is waiting you ahead... so be happy
mrwesson_fml 0
now buy a candy **** ring, seduce him/use it on him(if you're a girl) and make her try it.
Ukeee_X 19
Does nobody seem to realise that not only would it have touched his junk, it would have touched hers to..? Yumm....
5t3ff1k4h 47
It didn't necessarily touch her "junk" as well as his. His, yes, because it was an obviously-worn **** ring. Not necessarily hers because they didn't necessarily have sex with it on. She didn't like the taste of it, meaning only her saliva would be on the ring if they hadn't actually had sex.
Ukeee_X 19
So he put the ring on then took it off? I think not. He put it on for the purpose of intercourse, because if it were fellatio it would have been worn down or ate a little (though I wouldn't like teeth near my ****... if I had one haha.) Unless it was decorational, which doesn't make much sense.
5t3ff1k4h 47
I think he did... He had it on for the pleasure/her tasting, and she didn't like it. So, she took it off. What's the point of having a candy on your dick if your girlfriend isn't even going to taste it? None! It wouldn't have necessarily been worn down, by the way... She may not have been down there for too long, considering her dislike of the taste.
acelucas 0
A little gross because it was the sister but would be so hott with two women.
acelucas 0
Wait, did u say yummy. I think I love you.
theonlysweetpea 10
No one could stop me from beating her. Though you did like the taste. YDI for not asking where it came from
blahblahblah5_x 13
I know I have no right to say this but she needs a slap
dealerdon 0
and why do u have no right to say that???