Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML
Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML
Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML
Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML
Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML
Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML
Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML
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Top comments
RavensRule97 0
if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse
UTTU 0
Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...
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Comments (105)
Trugita 0
Did it taste like ****-n-candy?
dansco 25
You must have small wrists lol
DsStunna43 0
Yeah...Candy bracelets should taste salty. There's your first clue.
randomgurl__ 3
ocharme!! da is kei erg hahaha
ravenxcorvinus 9
Your sister NEEDS to have som sence nocked into her. That is just wrong.
mynameisntmike 0
You like ****. Don't you.
ThisRandomChild 0
If her boyfriend is hot, maybe you should hook up with him
alinka_fml 0
bracelet... for a c**k ring? wow
hebron77 0
You should steal her boyfriend so you can taste it whenever you want. But seriously, that is really sick. You should spike her breakfast(either chemical or volleyball spike, both would be awesome.) maybe with salt. mix a little distilled vinegar into her water or sprite. Vinegar:vengeance in a bottle.
Jezlovespink 5
Ok so did she try the flavor first or put it on his thang n then try it an gave it to u?