Intimacy: Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 882

You deserved it 4 881

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Same thing different taste

By fashionVictim - 08/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 662

You deserved it 12 999

By Anonymous - 10/12/2014 08:13 - United States - Seaside

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 092

You deserved it 8 694

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 551

You deserved it 82 894

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 113

You deserved it 4 850

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 203

You deserved it 19 441

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 756

You deserved it 9 261

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 644

You deserved it 20 277

Donut eat this

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 21:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 703

You deserved it 2 152

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 859

You deserved it 27 724

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 108

You deserved it 44 510

RavensRule97 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse

UTTU 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:58

Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...

Comments

Trupe 3

Monday 14 February 2011 23:20

Lol I bet you had that "what is this...I don't even" look on your face. Priceless.

perdix 29

Monday 14 February 2011 23:22

Maybe you should be the one tasting his ****, instead of her. You might not get promoted to the rank of girlfriend, but you could at least be his fluff girl :D

lBMTHl 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:24

I'm sorry, I ******* lol'd.

firecapez 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 2:28

"******* lol'd", one step above "lol", one step below "rofl".

WingsFan80 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 10:04

I rotflmao'd on that one

iiTzPokemon 4

Thursday 3 March 2011 8:19

You laughed out louded ? Dummy.

Not_Ever_Telling 3

Monday 14 February 2011 23:27

Wow, you're sister is ****** up. Kinda hilarious, though...

CourtneyDanielle_fml 9

Monday 14 February 2011 23:43

Ew. Sorry OP. Gross.. But kinda funny.

Bertj 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 0:34

Belgium FTW! But still, eww xD Don't tell your brother in law that :P

Jizwold 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 0:57

it's her boyfriend not her husband

shattered567 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 3:54

I love badminton I'm the star player at my high school

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 0:50

Why would you eat already opened candy? Was it not obvious she tasted it? I just don't trust anything I didn't open myself or at least saw opened and untouched. Too many sick people in this world, especially siblings.

LexieBabe 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 6:21

can you say paranoid?

Mewzakuro240 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 8:29

Can you say totally justifiable?

ImaginaryFoe 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 14:44

I don't care if it means I'm paranoid as long as it means I don't eat someone's pubic hair, spit, or semen (all things I have seen schoolmates put on food they offered to others).