By Anonymous - 05/03/2013 05:25

Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 843
You deserved it 4 753

Same thing different taste

Top comments

TheDrifter 23

I'd say have a glass of wine and mull it over, but that might just get you thinking of how those grapes were crushed.


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Funkymunky1511 4

Ha ha.. Plenty of mother do like that. Their comment: " you are just an infant, they need to chew and feed you by their mouth to help you swallow easier".. But honestly it's disgusting..ewww:(

It's ******* gross, I wish she'd never told me :( I know she meant well but *gag* that's just so wrong

Actually 45, birds regurgitate the food, animals that do pre-chew food are wolves and other such animals, because usually young cubs have difficulty chewing even the tenderest of meats. It's a bit icky to think you ate something from your mum's mouth, but for most it won't have been the first thing you ate from her body, and pre-chewed food can be considered your first steps towards solids instead of... mush. ;)

50-I love how in your profile,in the description it says "I like potatoes"XD

It may seem disgusting, but that is what the majority of mothers in the world do. Depending on where your mother is from and/ or how much money your family had when you were born, feeding you per chewed food may have been the only option for feeding you.

It was when she wanted to "spoil" me. Like if she had steak and I'd smell it and start crying because my Gerber baby food was gross. She liked to do things like that, and I'm glad she was so accomadating. But it's still gross to think about lol

That's hardly surprising, considering that a lot of mothers clean pacifiers that fell on the ground by sucking them before handing them back to their infants.

Jessj958 19

It's actually really bad for a child if a parent cleans a pacifier that way or even sharing utensils. If the parent has a cavity or bad teeth, their saliva can carry all the bacteria to the child's mouth and cause the child to get cavities. Just some info to pass along lol :)

Funkymunky1511 4

#45 i did not mean they do right, i just descibe that plenty people do like that..:))

nursejohio 8

Sources? Babies get their immunity from mom, yes, but from ingesting her breast milk *not* her poop. The reason moms poop during delivery is simple physics, in that the shit chute runs parallel to the baby birther. When she pushes, the pressure of the baby pushes out whatever is in the colon. The only "poop transplants" I've ever heard of are still in experimentation stages, and on patients who need colonization with the normal gut flora, not for immune deficiencies. And those, when done, are transplanted by enema or colonic, not by eating the poo-poo.

Good thing I stopped halfway through that sentence #148.Almost thought I had to puke.

Well you look like you turned out alright

Who of thunk feet are healthier than utensils? Looks like you learn something new every day. In all seriousness, OP that's gotta make you want to vomit.

If you're going to use the already-stupid-sounding "Who'd have thunk...", for ****'s sake don't make it sound even worse by misusing "of". Oh, and you left out the "would". You know what? Forget it. You're just an idiot.

Who would've thought* Holy Jesus Christ that hurt my eyes to read that. Thunk? Honestly?

And Doc, it would be "have" not "of" it should be "would have" not, "would of."

RocketNinjaFish 12

43: Doc already pointed that out. I think you misread his comment :) EDIT: Oops 46 beat me to it :) Sorry!

Sinkhole 26

isallwaysme, it seems like being a grammar Nazi doesn't help with reading comprehension.

Doc, isallwaysme, c'mon. He's intentionally being stupid, here. Believing that using your dirty, sweaty feet instead of clean, sterile utensils is healthier and more natural? He even said, "But seriously," Though it would've been better to say, "Who'da thunk it," anyway.

I may not help with reading comprehension, Sinkhole, but there are a ton of other benefits! Like making friends, getting laid, nailing a job, getting a life...and, um... Yeah, doesn't help much with those, either.

The "grammatical Nazi" is a hypocrite. Aside from the lack of reading comprehension, his whole bio on here is full of errors. Besides, I don't think anyone has successfully challenged DocBastard on this site before.

Actually Doc I believe he is referencing another FML. Noor said who of thunk and Pleonasm laughed and said it would soon be a meme. He would make sure of it. I could be mistaken but it's to coincidental to me to have been an accident. Dude was just hopping on the bandwagon.

It was the FML directly above this one and it was in reply to your comment. Number eleven if I'm not mistaken. Again I could be wrong that's just my take on this situation :0)

kingkongsdong: Are you stupid? Noor was referencing the idiot in THIS comment section, not the other way around. Look at the comment times for each.

Noor and Pleonasm wrote those comments in response to this one. You have the order backwards.

I've literally just lost two minutes of my life reading that argument. It's time to put the computer down and go outside.

bfsd42 20

Doc, do you get a kick out of going online and calling people imbeciles and idiots? That's just being childish and rude.

littlemsweirdo 12

And hilarious. Seriously, lighten up. A lot of morons on this site comment the stupidest things. We need People like Doc to ya know tell them what an idiot they are. :)

TheDrifter 23

I'd say have a glass of wine and mull it over, but that might just get you thinking of how those grapes were crushed.

oj101 33

French wine tastes good when it's made by the old school method so OP's wife must be producing some pretty delicious mashed potatoes! I bet the mash has some lovely bits in it to give it a rustic taste.

B1ackthesun 31

Crushing by foot has been pretty well obsolete for a long, LONG, time. Other than some back yard type makers, It's just one of those things done at festivals etc for show to impress people who know no better. Traditional crush usually means it was crushed in a basket press. Not to mention the alcohol created during the fermentation actually kills bacteria. Unless she is fermenting her mash into vodka it's just plain nasty no matter how you look at it.

in parts of spain and portugal some produces make it by crushing it with their feet, granted they clean their feet in a disinfectant

I'd say he deserved it. If he didn't notice it before it means he probably never helps out his wife in the kitchen. Lazy bastard.

She never made gravy to go with the potatoes. The apparent brown sauce was toe cheese, sweat, grime, and festering bacteria.

As a physician not much turns my stomach. I hate feet and your very detailed post made me gag! Great job!!

dontpanic_fml 32

Oh, dude...I must thumb you down in hopes that this comment gets buried to spare others

It didn't help me because I always get curious as to what the buried comments say...

dontpanic_fml 32

I do too, but at least this way people have a little warning rather than being cockslapped with the comment.

kaycol 8

I take it you don't have a foot fetish

Funkymunky1511 4

Ewwww.. Gross!! Next time you should notice what your wife does with your food.. I do not think only mashed potatoes she does like that..:)

KareBear7364 5

how intimate:') you guys have a good marriage!

Am I the only one who understands sarcasm?