Alexa, play "Policy of Truth" by Depeche Mode

By is there a environmental scientist in the house? - 05/03/2013 08:48 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, wanting to impress my date, I bullshitted her about how I was an environmental scientist. She got so impressed that she invited me over to her place. Not her home, her office. So that I could give her pointers on her current project. She's a real environmental scientist. FML
I agree, your life sucks 10 582
You deserved it 76 643

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vadim14 3


feldco1 17

Hmm interesting coincidence but ydi for lying.


vadim14 3


I agree. OP is a douchebag.

courtney680 17

Girls don't want to be impressed by your lying. We alway find out sooner or later, so why lie to begin with? It only makes you seem like an ass when we find out.

fishstick557 14

Why in the world would you lie?

perdix 29

#36, it's quite simple, actually. When a guy lies, you will be impressed until you find out the truth. He is betting that he'll get laid before you find out the truth and become less impressed with him. At that point, either the sex is so good, you don't care that he lied, or you'll leave him after he got what he wanted in the first place. Both are wins for this kind of guy. The scheme doesn't work if the lie is exposed before the sex, but sociopaths like that won't regret that, but just try the scam on a new victim. Does that answer your question?

skyeyez9 24

Perdix is spot on with his assessment!

Hmm I'm kind of wondering if Perdix has done this.. It almost sounds like experience..

Perdix: He's not always serious, but when he is, it's freakin' epic.

Chel2010 10

Goddamn my big fingers!!! Xp sorry #55! Supposed to be thumbs up xp

perdix 29

#52, perdix would do this shit if he was a real boy. The real me can't, so this is why I have this alter ego to think up these things.

^nobody cares if you accidently thumbs someone down. nobody even knows. the beauty of the internets anonymity.

Isn't that what "The Playbook" was created for?

#71 u beat me to it. Barney stinson would be disappointed at your failed attempt OP

@44 Yep, that's basically why Barney Stinson in How I Met Your Mother does it. He lies and makes up ridiculous stories so he can get laid, he's not interested in a in a long-term relationship. It's pretty easy for him too because most of the girls he finds are really stupid and believe anything he tells them.

feldco1 17

Hmm interesting coincidence but ydi for lying.

"would the real environmental scientist please stand up"

Redoxx_fml 22

How was op expecting to pull that lie off ?

Never EVER try to be someone you aren't. You will be found out eventually.

caplox 6

YDI. Dont lie to someone who youre going to get close to.

I don't think he was planning on getting close in the way you mean here. as perdix has already eloquently stated, men who lie like this only care about getting close physically as fast as they can. its sad really, dooming any chance they had at a real, fruitful relationship for the sake of trying to get in a girls pants asap. if you want to get into a girls pants so bad, why not do it by telling her the truth so that way you can do it multiple times because she wasnt duped into thinking you are someone you are not and then shuns you when your lie falls apart. I may pity op. I may be a virgin, but I always found myself in quite a happy state having a girl to talk to about who I really am and how I really feel. why the **** would I pass up the opportunity of talking to someone who gives a shit about my life, for the sake of maybe possibly getting the chance to use them for my own temporary gain. that is if you don't count the sub-scum level cases where men do this for the bragging rights and then tarnish a good woman's reputation for the purpose of self, where the **** did all this writing come from O.o (rant over)

I think u wrote that really long thing to make yourself not seem like one of us

*Chants* One of us, one of us.

chell1894 13

I'm really glad that he did lie so he was caught in it and unsuccessful at using this woman for some pu**y

Yes, but it's not you OP. Good luck bullshitting your way out of this one.

Just talk about global warming or some shit, i convinced someone that im a botanist and im just a stoner with some useless knowledge, all u need to do is sound convincing enough.

Schizomaniac 24

Guarantee the person you tricked wasn't a botanist.

If you're gonna lie about being something, why not something cooler and less common like a lion tamer?

flockz 19

"girl, i'm a lion tamer. i can whip any pussy into shape."

Mr_Mole 24

With this kids luck, she'd probably have set a lion on him.

Honesty is usually the best policy. Especially on a date, at some point she was bound to find out.

420Zombie 17

she could probably tell he was lying as soon as op attempted to stumble through some of the questions she asked him about her project.

Caitlin72 5

What if you're both lying? O.o

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

My favorite face! O.o

I've always been more partial to ô.o

They went to her office

Way to go! Seriously, starting off the relationship based on lies. FML for her.

again, you're assuming he was looking for a relationship

Doesn't matter cause what happen could happen which did happen. And again? Again what?

SomeDeadRabbits 8

"Fuck my life for her." What.

Even if your impression was believable, she would have found out eventually. Be yourself when it comes to these things. YDI.