Today, I found out that my wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy, natural" way to make them, and it also cleans her feet. I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I found out what rotten cooked potato both smells and tastes like. FML
Today, we went for a foot massage. My wife found it incredibly relaxing; I just found it weird that a complete stranger seemed to be trying to give each of my toes its own handjob. Plus they used so much moisturiser that it made the inside of my shoes feel like squishy mud all day. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I got home from work to see that not only had my wife opened my bag of potato chips, she'd ripped it all down the side and left it open all day without a clip. Now my chips are stale. She has a whole bag of her favorite flavor, unopened, right next to it. FML
Today, I watched my husband pick his dead foot skin and say, "That's a keeper!" before putting it in his mouth. FML
Today, my wife bitched at me for not washing my hands before handling the dishes. The dirty dishes. That were sitting in a sink of hot soapy water. According to her, the dirt from my hands was gonna make the dirty dishes even dirtier. Huh? FML
Today, I found out what unwashed, warty feet taste like after someone kicked me in the mouth with one. FML
Today, my wife stabbed my hand with a fork, making it bleed. I'd only tried to take some fries from her plate. FML
Today, my wife complained that the coffee grounds I swept into the sink grossed her out. Yesterday, I removed several panty-liners from her soiled underwear before doing the laundry. FML
Today, I was making mashed potatoes in a hurry, I had the pot boiling on high when I had to rush to the bathroom. As I'm walking away, I ask my boyfriend to watch the potatoes. When I returned, they were no longer boiling and he proudly announced he added cold water because they looked a little dry. What? FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
I'd say have a glass of wine and mull it over, but that might just get you thinking of how those grapes were crushed.
mangoboy1 19
Get tested.
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Comments (156)
girl_on_fire2111 6
Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!!! What?! How?! Ewwwww!!!!
EffTheRest 6
Time to file for divorce lol
adam_night 9
She isn't getting any for a while.
wvcheesehead1 9
Who has this kind of prep time on their hands? From now on... I would demand instant.
Asia_Breezy 9
That's horrible :( buy her a mixer
norisorroz 28
Let me guess, you got married young.
BlackBlazeCobra 16
Is anyone else reminded of the Proud Family? Suga Mama's "Get up and Go" bars.
Fuzzynavel 10
I don't see how this could be realistic. You would have to have a pot larger than your feet and mash on the floor. Seems like a lot of trouble. I fist-mashed once when the masher broke, even that was cumbersome.
anabanana317 3
The question is: was it good?
tfisch16 9
Oh **** no. I ******* hate feet.