Today, I found out that my resume contained the word "masturbation" in the skills section, courtesy of a practical joke by my best friend. I have been using this CV unsuccessfully for over two months. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, while updating my résumé, I noticed that in my list of achievements it said "Torturing middle school students". I meant "tutoring", but I guess this explains why I'm still unemployed a year after I started looking for a job. FML
Today, I realized I sent over 2 dozen job applications with my dating profile word doc instead of my resume. FML
Today, I realized I had misspelled "Education" on all the resumes I've been submitting. FML
Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling upbeat and confident I was gonna get the position, until I saw that my main qualification on my resume was being a "real n**ga" and "getting bitches and hoes 24/7." My brother had changed it as a prank. FML
Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML
Today, I realized after turning in my resume to over 100 job openings over the past month, that the resume I've been submitting does not have my phone number or any other contact information besides my name. FML
Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML
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Top comments
PiErC3 0
u should kick ur best friends ass
KMtheDrummer 6
How do you not notice that in 2 months?
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Comments (191)
surfergirlphotos 0
Get new friends
missyj0 12
I'd probably do that to my friend, and I'm a girl. I wouldn't let it last that long, though.
Kayokku 1
I'd do it too... but I would probably say 'hey, you might want to re-read your resume again' right before they go to hand them out. There's a different between being funny and being a dick :v
Jenchixo 1
That ain't no best friend and do your own resume next time, don't know how to do it Google it or YouTube it!
snowwhite92 5
As if you wouldn't check it before handing it out.
Taurus_ChicKa 37
This is both an FYL and a YDI. FYL for having a stupid friend (hopefully now a former friend) and trying to get a job in the current economy, but YDI for not double-checking it before it was sent out. If you've been using it for months, surely you had enough time to check and change it.
olpally 33
Oh desireev.. You rock! :D
jplane 0
Dude it's a skill takes long to master if you sit Indian style it's impossible to cum found that out from American pie 2 and it actually works
doglover569 0
Haha I've done that! They even asked him why that skill is so special ;)
Jakemachen54 0
Hahahaha what a troll