Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found...

By TabbyCat87 - United States - Arvada

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

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TabbyCat87 tells us more :

OP here. My insurance was liability only and I'm having trouble tracking down who lost the beam. Might have to eat the cost myself. Not fun but thankfully no one was injured!

Money

Coherence dude, do you have it?

Drained

Uninvolved

By cammy123 - United States

Today, I went to Target. I was on my way to the bathroom when I find a huge mirror. No one was around so I started to see how my butt looked in my jeans, checked up my nose and fixed my bra. An older woman then walks out of a door next to the mirror and explains that it's a two-way mirror. FML

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By TheAngryBird - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML

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29292

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By Anonymous - Canada

Today, I ran into a guy that I had gone on a few dates with 3 months ago and slept with him a few times, but then never heard from him again. When he looked at me, I went over and gave him a hug and said "Hey, how are you, Chris?". He hugged me back and said "Hey there cutie, what's your name?". FML

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By Highschoolsucks - 18/3/2020 23:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Unexpected item

Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML

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By Anonymous - Malaysia - Shah Alam

Today, I set up a spy cam in my room to find out which one of my pervy brothers has been using my computer to watch porn. Turns out it was actually my father. I now have a video of him sitting in my chair masturbating, and I can't get it out of my head. FML

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By Lovernotafighter - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

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By Anonymous

Today, I got reverse suspended for correcting my teacher. Now my mom has to go to all my high school classes with me for a week. FML

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By Mal2222 - United States

Today, at work, a man walked up the escalator with his chubby kid next to him and asked me where the shoe section was. I said, "For you or your son?" He said, "For my daughter." FML

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By Single4Life - United States

Today, my friend told me that she gave my number to a guy I've liked for a while. I asked why and she just said "He's just going to have to tell you himself." I got hopeful and really nervous. A few hours later he calls. Turns out, he's called to try and get a date with my gay friend. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Woodinville

Today, my wife knows tattoos are a huge turnoff for me. She decided the best way to change my mind about them would be to get one. Across her neck. Of our dog's name. FML

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By tryscal - United States

Today, I was attempting to teach a bunch of 2nd and 5th graders on why it's so important to face your fears and try your best. It was going pretty well, until I was attacked by a pair of butterflies. I am afraid of butterflies - I ran away screaming like a little girl. FML

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By blazer - United States

Today, my daughter asked me what is the youngest age at which you should start having sex. Being a good mom, I said that she shouldn't have sex until after she's been married. My daughter then said, "Oh... shoot," and walked away. My daughter is twelve. FML

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By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Telford

Today, while trying to open the packaging to my new headphones, I got startled by my cat suddenly meowing and cut through the headphone wire. FML

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By sucker - United States - Milton

Today, after months of believing my marriage has been better than ever, I found out that my husband has been cheating on me with our neighbor. I can't afford to move, and I have to see the fake-titted homewrecker every day. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2020 05:01

Ideal first date

Today, I went on a date where the guy got drunk off 11 White Claws, I got 18 ant bites (yes, I counted), stung by a yellow jacket, and lost both pairs of our shoes. He told me he was going to a strip club after, messed up my name 3 times and didn’t pay for anything. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I helped this guy get into his truck after he'd locked his keys in it, and he said thank you and went on his way. Ten minutes later, a woman came out of the grocery store and freaked out, saying someone stole her truck. I helped a guy steal a truck. FML

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By headache - 26/12/2019 20:00 - United States - Mesa

A good shower

Today, I was taking a shower when the water suddenly went cold. It spooked me so much I slipped and hit my head on the metal edge of the tub. My husband then said that I had the best Christmas gift. FML

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By crybaby - United States

Today, it was my first time having sex with this guy. After a few second he stops, sits in the corner of his room buff-naked, with his knees up and his hands on his face. He then pouts and claims it was his worst performance ever. FML

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By B-Rizzle - United States

Today, my grandparents thought it would be acceptable to give me and my wife Christmas presents to take to my ex-wife, along with a card saying how much they missed her and to get in touch with them next time she is in town. FML

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By mannnnn2717 - Australia

Today, I finally got around to writing my Christmas cards. After finishing, I realized I had written "Happy Birthday" instead of "Merry Christmas" on every single one. FML

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By Damian

Today, my mom confused me with my dad. She got in the shower with me. FML

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By shtzbutnogiggles - United States

Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML

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By Rar - United States - Palatine

Today, I went to the airport a full three hours before my flight departure time just to be on the safe side. I ended up having the best nap of my life and missing my flight. FML

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By Malina - Australia - Sydney

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/5/2020 23:05

What a charmer

Today, after surgery on Monday, I can’t do much because of where my scars are until they heal. My husband won’t clean the house at all, dishes are all over my kitchen bar, laundry is all piled up by the washing machine. When I asked for help, he said it’s not his job. FML

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By Anonymous - Israel

Today, I'm sat at home alone on a Friday night, watching a documentary online about decomposing elephants. FML

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By me - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I made a phone call in my office to my doctor. He wanted to call a prescription to my pharmacy, but wanted to know by what method I would prefer my medication. During our conversation, a group of potential clients walked in just as I exclaimed "I definitely prefer oral." FML

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By Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

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By thesockmancometh - United States

Today, I told my therapist that I suspected my partner was unfaithful, but I don't think he believed me. "What, did you find a membership card to a sex club in his wallet or something?" he asked. When I got home, I looked in my partner's wallet. I found a membership card to a sex club. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

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By Anonymous - United States

Today, I got trapped in a glass elevator at the mall. My father walked right by the elevator, laughed and went into a store. A fireman got me out. FML

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By Anonymous - United States - Dearborn

Today, I found out that the guy I've been sleeping with is my mom's gynecologist. FML

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By PandaSuicide

Today, I jokingly told my die-hard Laker fan dad that I converted to become a Celtics fan. He responded, "Get out of my car." I'm currently sitting on a sidewalk, trying to convince him it was a joke. FML

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By Heyhey - France

Today, I met someone with the same name as me for the first time ever. I'm 20 years old, he is 97. FML

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By ew - United States - Garland

Today, I asked the 7-year-old that I was babysitting if he could burp on command. He said he could, and began to demonstrate. It turns out he couldn't purposely burp, but he definitely could vomit on command. FML

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By allinicolesmh - United States

Today, my dad said he can't go to my graduation because he has to work. He got fired a month ago. FML

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By Ouch - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

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By itwasmyfavoriteshirt - United States - Bentonville

Today, my aunt borrowed my favorite shirt. Don't worry, she returned it. Complete with jizz stains. FML

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By oops - Canada - Okotoks

Today, while packing for a trip, my mom bumped my bag and it started to vibrate. She flew into a huge rage calling me all sorts of colourful names, thinking it was a sex toy. It was my tooth brush. FML

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By Nathanael Johnson - Australia

Today, after a fun movie night, I found a note on my fridge saying, “It was delicious.” I don’t know what it is referring to, since nothing is missing and we didn’t eat anything during the movie. FML

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Top comments

By Dreamsorrow93 | 24

#6258271 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:36

Well it's nice of your car, helping them find it in all.

By lfrider92 | 21

#6258266 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:35

Well did you at least give it back to them? Finders keepers doesn't work in the real world..

COMMENTS

By SuperWhoMarvLock | 22

#6258257 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:33

Oh my gosh I hope you or anybody else didn't get hurt

Rainbow2Cloud | 12

#6258737 - Friday 10 April 2015 21:32

This one of those random freak accidents no one expects but also don't want them to happen.

By SuperWhoMarvLock | 22

#6258263 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:34

On the other hand, I hope people SUPPORTED you during your accident

slingerslasher | 24

#6258290 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:42

Wow, you managed to squeeze in TWO comments before anyone else

xMaeLA | 24

#6258300 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:49

That's Captain America for you.

By wheresmymary | 22

#6258265 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:35

I hope you an everyone else is okay!

By lfrider92 | 21

#6258266 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:35

Well did you at least give it back to them? Finders keepers doesn't work in the real world..

Dimps94 | 9

#6258315 - Friday 10 April 2015 8:14

Since when

MegasaurusRex89 | 28

#6258324 - Friday 10 April 2015 8:21

Since always...

You have to lick it first, THEN it's yours.

TabbyCat87 | 8

#6258334 - Friday 10 April 2015 8:54

I bit it instead. ;)

Badkarma4u | 17

#6258565 - Friday 10 April 2015 16:08

#27 That's what she said.

By werewolf_babe | 16

#6258267 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:35

My car loves finding nails in the road -.-
Sorry OP! Hope you're okay!

Liyuesigs | 8

#6258407 - Friday 10 April 2015 11:11

My car found two nails in one month, both times required replacement. Turns out, the work shop planted them.

By meli1195 | 31

#6258270 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:36

what a way to start the weekend, hope you're ok OP

By Dreamsorrow93 | 24

#6258271 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:36

Well it's nice of your car, helping them find it in all.

khaoticpanda | 28

#6258284 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:40

Funny without a cheesy pun. I respect you.

Dreamsorrow93 | 24

#6258293 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:45

Thanks lol!

By LevyLove | 17

#6258272 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:37

Damn that is a total blower!! I hope insurance will cover it? Or maybe the company that was transporting or built the support beam? This is MURICA!! Where anyone can sue anyone ?

Seriously tho, I hope you can get that covered.

By Skinyrd | 17

#6258274 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:37

Sounds like your car will need some support to drive again

By gracehi | 31

#6258286 - Friday 10 April 2015 7:40

Thanks, OP's car. I was looking for that.