By Anonymous - 20/06/2014 18:20 - United States - Fresno

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 327
You deserved it 5 724

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Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving.

....probably because of signs of genital herpes....


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....probably because of signs of genital herpes....

Yeh....I just realised how thick my first comment was.Prepared for the negative votes.

You sir, are extremely stupid.

You sir are annoyingly rude.

incoherentrmblr 21

Dick in a box...

Did you try on a swimsuit without undies?

oral counts

Only if you take your teeth out first!

kewpiesuicide 29

It's true actually. If someone with a cold sore goes down on you, you can get genital herpes.

Or if your mom had it when she gave birth to you. Sorry OP

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damnit1989 16

This is not a lie. I've had two boyfriends now that have tried to have sex with me while they were dead asleep. One got punched (ex), the other just ended up dry humping my leg and I laughed (current bf). So don't dismiss sleep sex. It is possible.

My BS radar is going crazy.

#13 #28 It's actually real, it's called "Sexsomnia".

It actually isn't BS. You know how you've heard crazy stories about people who sleep walk or sleep drive, or appear completely functional while they're still asleep? The same concept applies here. It's not much of a jump to assume that if a person can drive in their sleep, it's totally possible for them to have sex in their sleep either.

Wait. So you are saying that this girl could be a completely innocent librarian type girl while awake and turn into a sex crazed freak while she sleeps. That's kinda kinky.

PLLboyEmily 11

Guys guys guys, it's true. On Law & Order: SVU there was a guy who had it and accidentally raped his girlfriend's sister because his girlfriend wasn't there to stop him cause she was kidnapped. And he couldn't get charged because it's a medical disorder.

:O OMG really? That's really unfortunate :/

I wish I could extra thumbs up

Guys guys guys, it's totally true I saw it on TV. Is the stupidest thing I've heard in a while

Herpes, the gift that keeps on giving.

This holiday season, give your friends the gift of herpes!

Badman6969 10

If you get your friends and family herpes you don't have to worry about them sending it back, it will stick with them FOREVER!

Thread jacking here, but I need to complain that not one person quickly made an "Immaculate Infection" joke.

I considered it, #11, but I just couldn't do it. Some things I just can't joke about.

The gift so nice, he gave it twice!

Lebeaugars95 20

Well, at least now you're eligible to be in the genital herpes commercials OP

I can just see it "were you a Virgin like myself? Did you end up with an STD like Gentile Herpes?! Well we have the solution for you come on down to so and so drugstore." Poor OP!

I won't let genital herpes slow me down! -White Chicks.

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Respect101 17

I am never using another toilet again..... I'm going back to digging holes....

#51 that is total bull. u need direct skin to skin contact to get herpes. u can't get it from a toilet seat

Toilet seats have actually been proven to be one of the least likely things in a bathroom to infect anyone with anything.

Like Sam Winchester!! :DD Take some Herpexia, OP

Not true #62 you can get almost any STD from a public restroom. It's been proven.

Gentile herpes are the opposite of Jewish herpes, right? :) Love that autocorrect. Have my thumbs up.

Preposterous 8

Just a question #89, what does STD stand for? Actually, just the S. (Hint: SEXUALLY)

#110 so if you have herpes and I don't and we both cut out finger and I touch my cut with your cut I won't get a disease off of you because we aren't having sex? Sorry but that's just plain stupid like to only think that STDs are transmitted through sex only.

Herpes isn't transmitted that way. You're thinking of HIV. Herpes virus is localized to nerves and skin.

#116 I apologize for not looking into that but either way sex is not needed to transmit an STD.( not directed at you)

We'll if you would let the guy stand the fuck up and finish using the toilet before you take a flying ass-leap at the toilet you might quit dragging a bunch of nasty shit home. Just sayin....

titandesu 14

"hi i'm Sam winchester and i have genital herpes"

#110: I guess you're probably baffled as to why blood banks don't let people with HIV donate. Hey, it's an STD, so that means it's the ONLY way it's transmitted, right? Good thing you're so much smarter than the entirety of the global medical community!

#89 you are a total idiot. I hope your kind doesn't breed or worse spread STDs from ignorance and not paying attention in sex ed

daisylokes 16

a read an article the other day about a woman who got herpes bc she ate a mc chicken with semen, infected with herpes...

MemeriGoesRawr 8

Actually, no you can't.

I don't think that HIV is technically an STD. It can be transmitted by blood or genital contact whereas most STI's (STD's) are only via sexual contact. Chances are that the Herpes was transmitted during oral sex or via foreplay or solo play/touch.

Actually, #51 is correct. It shocked me and I thought it wasn't possible as well; but, there is a possibility. It's very unlikely and requires a time eligibility. If someone had an open sore on their lower bits and some of the virus/disease/etcetera is on the surface, one who sits down on such a surface within seconds has a chance of contacting it if they too had an open wound. The chances are extremely unlikely but it isn't impossible. I always wait 15 seconds before sitting on a public toilet if I had cut myself from shaving or something.

I was hoping I saw a comment like this!

Maybe you could've gotten it by using a public toilet. I'm not sure if it's actually true, but maybe it's a possibility.

You're really dumb.

I was just saying maybe. By my down votes, it's probably not even possible, but that's for saying I'm dumb just because I might've gotten something wrong.

(Woops sorry. Down vote me for my glitchy phone.)

Hey I used to think that everybody thinks something and it turns out to be wrong people who down vote that know they get stuff wrong but they want to think they are better when honestly they are even a little worse cause they are being total hypocrites

You're an Asshole..

RedPillSucks 31

@67 WTF?!!

67- USE PUNCTUATION. Really, it helps the rest of us understand you.

tecnically you can, if they were to put their bits on the seat then you put your bits on the same seat it could be transfered very unlucky though

@67 I think it's trying to communicate with us...

No, it's almost impossible to contract it this way... It is possible, however, to give it to oneself if you have a coldsore, touch the coldsore, and rub your junk...

You actually can't get genital herpes from a toilet seat, viruses need a living host to survive.

Man that sucks. All pain, and no gain. FYL OP!

I think OP did gain something...

From what I remember, you can actually get it by having a cold sore on your face (herpes 1), and picking/scratching at it, and then touching your genitals without washing your hands (causing herpes 2). So, in that way, you can get it from yourself. If you get cold sores anyway.

Actually now the you can have herpes 1 in your genitals and 2 in your mouth, so now you just say herpes because the symptons are the same

HSV1 and HSV2 are two different herpes strains. Yes, you can get them in any mucosal area, or even on your skin. But you can not have type 1 on your mouth, touch your bits and instantly have type 2. You would have HSV1 on your genitals if that were the case and vice versa for type 2. So either can occur practically ANYWHERE on the body, it just prefers all those soft bits that we don't enjoy it on. Also, ever heard of herpes zoster? That's shingles people. Please educate yourselves before giving this poor person incorrect information. OP has enough to worry about.

That's not what I meant, what I was talking is the fact that type one is not limited to mouth or the upper part of your body, you can have genital herper and be type 1 or 2, not like what was rhought about genital herper being only type 2, also zoster is type 3 herpes, which is totally different that the type 1 and 2....

Yeah I get vile sore quite often tbh so thx for telling me not like I would tho about the last part

Actually, #58, you can get type 2 herpes from yourself. As long as the liquid inside the cold sore is exposed to your genitals. I wrote a thousand-word research paper about herpes, trust me.

61 - There is no herpes type 3. Herpes Zoster is Shingles.

There are 8 Herpes Viruses. HHV1 and HHV2 are probably the ones causing the op's problems. HSV3 is Varicella Zoster Virus HSV4 is Epstein-Barr Virus (Mono) HSV5 is Cytomegalovirus (Mono) HSV6 is Roseola HSV7 is uh... Idk lol HSV8 is Kappsi Sarcoma (in AIDS patients) The more ya know ;)

Cytomegalovirus is NOT mono.

olpally 32

Remember, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas, except for herpes, that shit will come back with you. Lol, get better soon.

Baby Momma's and Daddy's come back from vegas also.

Get better soon? You do realize there is no cure for Herpes, right?...

MAD01502 20

You should see somebody about that! It can have serious consequences!!

Pretty sure OP found out it was specifically genital herpes by seeing a doctor..

She already did.... that's how she figured it out.