Today, I finally hooked up with the guy that I have been in love with forever. If there is such a thing as soul mates, this guy is it. He's my best friend in the whole world. It was the worst sex I have ever had. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML
Today, I married a wonderful man. Even though both of us were no longer virgins, we decided to wait until marriage to sleep together. He just told me I was the worst he's ever had. FML
Today, my best friend, the man who I've been in love with for nine years, finally told me he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. Unfortunately, it was while he was using me to practice proposing to his girlfriend. FML
Today, after three months of them dating, I finally met the guy my best friend claims she's in love with. To my horror, she's dating the douchebag that I had a one-night stand with a week ago. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards, he said he was in love with me and that he wants to be with me forever. It was also at this time I realised that I can't stand him. FML
Today, I had sex with the guy who had been the main subject of my bean-flicking fantasies since I met him. It was the absolute worst sex of my life. I guess some things are just better left to the imagination. FML
Today, I finally had sex with the man with whom I've been in love for months. Too bad I was too drunk to remember a thing. FML
Today, I had sex for the first time in two years. With a man I love, who is handsome, very nicely equipped, and quite good at it. I was in pain the entire time. It took me 3 tries to realize there is something physically wrong with me, and once I get it fixed, he'll be gone. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
Today, I found out the guy I’m in love with has been side-messaging one of my closest friends about hooking up for sex. This isn’t the first guy this has happened with. FML
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Top comments
glosniks 5
Sex isn't everything! He'll get better, maybe it's his first time.
Magicomoo 9
Everybody can learn, just be honest and work on it in a nice way. Its about creating good experiences :-) sex can always be improved if you talk! good luck!
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Comments (207)
pandabrr 12
Practice makes perfect? ... *edit* someone already said that.... hmm PRACTICE
perdix 31
#26, yes, but you have to slog through piss-poor, tedious, mediocre, passable, and decent, until you get to amusing, stimulating, potentially orgasmic, singularly orgasmic, multiply orgasmic and mind-blowing and then you end up at perfect. She may have the patience to tolerate all that shitty sex, or just find a guy who knows what he is doing.
SystemofaBlink41 27
I was going to say that last thing you said was shallow, but since your comments are usually coated in a thick layer of sarcasm, I'm just going to thumb you up.
Jaxx66 21
Oh but perdix, it's so worth slogging through it to see your comments. Now if I could find that Ninja-nun and the Doc, my return will be perfect.
ScenicSubterfuge 39
That shouldn't be worth saying if he really is that important to you:/
gioo_fml 6
You were probably the one who made it the worst sex....give it time sex isn't everything
flockz 20
unless you are a male praying mantis. then sex is everything.
Raesin 21
So communicate OP, learn how you can make it better and let him know what he can do to please you. An important part of great sex is communication, if you just carry on without saying anything, it just makes you both unhappy with it... forever.
rattusrattus 19
*whips out flipchart* *indicates parts with stick* This is the ********! Lick it! Touch it! Rub it! This is the ******! Insert phallic objects into it! When inserting phallic objects, do not forget to stimulate the ********! *flips page* This is the neck. Bite it. Bite it hard. Then kiss the bite. Then bite it again. *flip* This is my butt. Squeeze it and grab it! *flip* This is Tolkeinian cutlery. It is blunted. Run it across my back! *flip, et cetera* (Semi-accurate representation of RattusRattus's sexual partner training)
kurodansei 16
good to know rattus good to know.
anon_e_m00se 8
Mmmm... biting and blunted cutlery... my kinda girl :-)
RedPillSucks 33
Sounds like an Ikea sex manual. I'm afraid to ask or google Tolkeinian cutlery
K410 18
Maybe he just needs some more practice ;)
RuskiManBearPig 4
Only way from the bottom is up hehe
Acik91 26
He's your best friend, so I guess your communication is working - it's not going to be that hard to turn him into your perfect lover, it just takes patience, willingness and time!
darth1 18
I have no sympathy for you. If that's really such a big deal then give him tips, have practice sessions. Sex isn't everything, people like you sicken me.
Giluh 19
There is way more to love than sex. If you base a relationship on how good the sex is, your never going to be truly happy. If you really love him, then it wont matter to you.
x24x 10
He might have been nervous because he feels the same way about you. Give it another go. It'll improve.