Intimacy: Comforter

Comforter

By random - 29/01/2012 10:53 - United Kingdom

Today, I hooked up with a guy I'm totally in love with. After finishing, he burst into tears about being in love with another girl. I had to comfort him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 469

You deserved it 5 381

Intimacy

This Charming Man

Happy Birthday, I guess…

Is it though?

Looking for another one!

By Anonymous - 20/12/2019 01:00

Today, I finally got a Christmas gift, a calligraphy set, for my father that I have been looking for for a month. My dad came home happily with the same calligraphy set today, saying that he surprised himself for Christmas. He got it cheaper than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 060

You deserved it 215

Shitty

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 08:00

Today, I can only eat gluten-free food because gluten gives me diarrhea. I’m also vegan, so I bought some vegan cheese and salami to have a mess-free sandwich on the bus. As it turns out, vegan salami consists of 6% gluten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 869

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 22:00

Today, while working as a line cook, one of the servers sincerely asked me, "What sauce goes on a chicken bacon ranch sandwich?" I replied, a little incredulously I'll admit, "…Ranch." She then totally lost her cool and went full-blown adult temper tantrum because I was, "mean to her." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 607

You deserved it 386

By jelrid - 13/07/2016 04:38 - United States - Holt

Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 863

You deserved it 3 912

By idk - 04/09/2015 14:15 - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I was getting ready to go out with my family. As I was putting my phone in my purse, my father told me I wouldn't need it because we were going to spend 'quality time' together. The entire time I was there, everyone was staring at their phone. I was the only one without one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 930

You deserved it 2 779

Zzzzzzzzzz

By Anonymous - 15/09/2020 13:31 - India - Delhi

Today, I fell asleep in the middle of an online class. Now everyone calls me Sleeping Beauty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 1 019

By catherine - 17/06/2011 11:32 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped my camera into water. The good news is that it's waterproof. The bad news is I dropped it off London Bridge. All the pictures and videos of my four-month trip around Europe were on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 188

You deserved it 12 397

By Anonymous - 23/10/2016 10:12 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 568

You deserved it 4 609

By Lovernotafighter - 24/02/2012 11:36 - United Kingdom

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 308

You deserved it 2 168

By pleasedontyellatme - 20/10/2016 15:19

Today, my parents finally took me driving after months of me having my permit. I got yelled at for asking questions. I only needed to know which way they wanted me to turn on the next street after they told me to turn, but not which way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 007

You deserved it 713

By Anonymous - 03/04/2012 14:16 - Australia - Sandringham

Today, I realised that I only get dandruff when I'm stressed about having dandruff. Which is whenever I have dandruff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 135

You deserved it 4 231

Doin' it for the 'gram

By My sister is a scumbag - 09/04/2021 17:00

Today, my sister refuses to talk to me because I didn't post her a "Happy birthday" in an Instagram story. It seems that the iPhone 12 I gave her as a present is just not enough. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 94

By Anonymous - 15/07/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. Once there, I realized I forgot my bike lock. For fear of it being stolen, I quickly rode home and took my car instead. When I got home, I realized my bike was missing. Someone stole it from my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 134

You deserved it 6 142

By pincushion - 31/12/2015 05:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 054

You deserved it 1 617

By good job bf - 11/01/2013 04:06 - United States - Southampton

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me at my grandma's funeral. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 103

You deserved it 2 872

By squirrels69ing - 22/05/2011 01:00 - United States

Today, I was driving back home with my mom when we saw two squirrels having sex in the road. I told her to just honk the horn. She said that I was being selfish, that sex is a beautiful thing, and that we should let them finish. We sat there for at least five minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 699

You deserved it 6 210

Take care

By Buyingagun - 08/04/2020 05:00

Today, I looked out the window just in time to see a coyote carrying off my cat that I had just let outside five minutes before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 267

You deserved it 516

By Anonymous - 06/09/2016 13:36 - Estonia - Tartu

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 346

You deserved it 960

Sometimes, family shouldn't stick together

By Anonymous - 21/05/2021 07:59

Today, I learned that my family only came to the state I live in because my great grandfather was caught molesting his own children. He was never convicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 43

By Rainydaze - 10/11/2017 20:00 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, the guy I hooked up with last summer who was "going through a divorce" welcomed his new baby with his loving wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 115

You deserved it 1 831

Are you there?

By Anonymous - 01/06/2021 12:59 - United States - Steele

Today, I had an awful dream where my uncle died from a massive heart attack. When I woke up, my brain interpreted the dream as being a real thing that really happened. It wasn't until my uncle called and asked me why everyone thought he was dead that I finally came to my senses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 710

You deserved it 327

By PlaneGuy - 25/02/2017 01:00 - Reunion - Saint-denis

Today, I was on a plane and a cute girl was getting ready to sit down beside me, but upon making eye contact, she asked to switch seats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 159

You deserved it 712

By snarly1 - 06/12/2011 08:57 - United States

Today, my boss asked me what language I was speaking. I was clearly speaking English, but apparently, "indifferent" is too big a word for him to understand. I don't know how he got into a management position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 771

You deserved it 2 091

By nannynomore - 10/03/2009 18:52 - United States

Today, my boss had to leave the house for a little while. She asked me to take any messages she got. I answered the phone and lady calling said she was returning her call about the opening for a nanny position. I am the current nanny. I found out I am being fired by the new nanny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 206

You deserved it 3 092

Sneaky dad

By say no to dick - 18/04/2014 22:56 - Australia - Newcastle

Today, I found out that my father faked his whole "mid-life crisis", just so he could gain my trust and get me to admit that I smoke weed, and to tell him who I buy it from. Hello year-long grounding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 695

You deserved it 43 494

By Frostbitten - 27/02/2013 03:00 - United States - Freeport

Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 132

You deserved it 6 083

By Anonymous - 01/04/2016 12:55 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, after weeks of being engaged and with the wedding date planned, I finally told my parents. They told me it was my best April Fool's joke ever. I should've waited one more day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 353

You deserved it 5 640

Not a great start

By anon - 05/06/2021 02:01

Today, after waiting to losing our virginity together, we finally did it, only for my boyfriend to claim he doesn't understand how people enjoy sex, since he found the waiting stressful, the sex awkward and undignified, the orgasm unimpressive and so sticky, he was desperate for a shower afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 157

By Ginger_Gawd - 21/01/2014 03:34 - United States - Hialeah

Today, I was playing with my little nephew and began to tickle him playfully, even though I know he doesn't like to be tickled. When I was done, he looked me straight in the eye, punched me in the groin, and told me, "No one tickles me". He's six. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 455

You deserved it 45 928

By Big_gulps_huh - 28/11/2017 22:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I realized I am more confident running a million-dollar piece of construction equipment than I am around people of the opposite sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 540

You deserved it 428

By John - 30/06/2012 05:08 - United States - Watertown

Today, I was fired for using violence and intimidation in the work place. I was a bouncer at a strip club. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 311

You deserved it 3 591

By Sgt_Jackrum - 05/02/2016 10:27 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 205

You deserved it 2 363

By TheDarth - 16/07/2015 22:47 - United States - Bedford

Today, it's got to the point where my parents have to force me to plan social outings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 799

You deserved it 5 592

By Jessika - 07/08/2009 09:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I finished a ballet class with a group of seven-and-unders. Afterwards, a new student's mother came up to me and thanked me, saying she was glad that her daughter had a "role model with a, ahem, fuller figure" and "not to worry about my weight." I have never thought I was fat before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 274

You deserved it 3 848

By ArtistBlock - 17/08/2016 07:54 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I spent nearly seven hours clearing out our storage room in order to transform it into my art studio. Things were going great until I tweaked my back. At least from my stationary position in bed I have a perfect view of the table I can't work at for the next 2 to 4 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 118

You deserved it 1 358

By Luke - 10/09/2015 05:56 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was robbed. I didn't know how the robber got in, as there was no clear signs of forced entry. I later found out that my psycho ex had written my address on the key I lent her when we were going out. And then purposely left it on a table in a café. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 164

You deserved it 2 596

Help, I'm stranded!

By LexMarie12 - 15/03/2017 18:00

Today, at work, it was so windy that it started taking the door off its hinges. The door now won't close all the way. I can't leave until someone comes to fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 677

You deserved it 334

By Playaaa - 14/11/2015 22:08 - United States - Hollister

Today, I realized when I'm on my phone, I tend to play with my penis, even in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 383

You deserved it 28 513

By djxerxes9000 - 08/02/2013 02:56 - Canada

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 454

You deserved it 5 778

I don't know why

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 21:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today I went camping in the mountains with my girlfriend and her very outdoor loving mountain. I sprained my ankle falling out of the car and got bug bit on my penis while peeing. Her dad actually asked why she was dating me and she admitted that she had no idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 526

You deserved it 481

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Top comments

JFAW 6

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:33

You didn't have to comfort him...

hotPinklipstick 24

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:34

If he is in love with another girl he shouldn't be hooking up with you to begin with. I'm sorry OP, that is a horrible experience.

astarwarsfan 0

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:31

Sucks for you.

evilscorpi 29

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:38

honestly i would not comfort him, sorry for you but you need to drop him and find someone good enough for you.

Rachel1987 4

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:55

How does it suck for her? She hooked up with him. She's not in a relationship with the guy. Hooking up with someone you like isn't the way to get them... Ydi

123josie123 11

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Sunday 29 January 2012 20:25

I guess OP was meant to be a rebound girl but she failed her purpose.. Fyl

periwinkle95 10

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Sunday 29 January 2012 20:38

OP deserves it for hooking up right away. I mean can she not wait? Is everything in a relationship all about sex these days? Smh.

uprising_fml 0

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Sunday 29 January 2012 22:04

34- If it was a guy who had 'hooked up right away' would you have made the same comment? Or suggested he deserved it? And maybe you would have said YDI no matter the gender, I don't mean to attack you, but it is true that in our society men are allowed to fool around and have no consequences for it, yet women are considered loose or not deserving of respect if they fool around.

FurryPride 9

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Monday 30 January 2012 4:32

Doesn't matter. Had sex.

periwinkle95 10

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Monday 30 January 2012 4:50

52- I understand that males get away with things more than females. But it's wrong. Even if OP was a male, he would deserve it anyways for being such an animal. My point is that relationships aren't all about sex. Sure it's nice, but there are other beautiful things about a relationship too. (:

GovernorGeneral 8

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Monday 30 January 2012 5:27

Hes surprisingly being...manly about it :/

Merylwen 24

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Monday 30 January 2012 17:56

Yeah, right. He's so in love with this girl, that he had sex with you. Seems legit.

HannahWho 8

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Thursday 2 February 2012 12:14

I guess he is in the same boat as you Op, in "love" with someone who does not see them the same way. Or at least that is what I got out of the whole sex with Op/needing comforting about the other girl. There is nothing wrong with having sex with someone you know. Op must not have told him about her feelings or did it because she wanted to have sex with someone she cares for. Either way, if the two people involved consent to the sex then I don't see how they are animals, they are adults who like sex. There is nothing wrong with waiting and there is nothing wrong with having sex, if both people are single and agree to it.

kombucha_fml 8

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Saturday 4 February 2012 22:34

women may be considered loose if you are asking men, but men are considered just the same if you are asking women.

JFAW 6

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:33

You didn't have to comfort him...

extradorkyloser 4

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Sunday 29 January 2012 21:14

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. It's his fault he's upset. You should kick him out or leave at that point.

CockAsian 14

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Monday 30 January 2012 8:22

I'm trying to debate who the man was in the relationship. Or maybe OP just dated another girl and is lesbian.

hotPinklipstick 24

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:34

If he is in love with another girl he shouldn't be hooking up with you to begin with. I'm sorry OP, that is a horrible experience.

Buttsexpirate 9

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:35

Slowly lead him to the front door whisper "I'm sorry" and then slam it behind him.

kimee21_fml 15

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:35

You'll find someone who loves you back one day, hes just not the one. :)

YoUglyMama 0

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:37

You already comforted him!

DrMime 10

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Sunday 29 January 2012 21:52

With a soft warm place to rest his 'head'.

btstig 11

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:37

Should have told him that he was a test to see if you still liked men. Then burst into tears and said the same thing he did.

Bluemonster3 26

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:38

You're a kind person :)

rotMed 1

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Sunday 29 January 2012 19:40

It shows you really love this guy.. But Fk him

DrMime 10

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Sunday 29 January 2012 20:23

How does I 'Fk' someone? You're missing two steps! F-uriously U-ndressing then C-ontinue to K-iss Without 'u' and 'c', you're just raping each others lips!