Intimacy: Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over...

By UrbanCass - 25/06/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 453

You deserved it 76 832

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Same thing different taste

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 394

You deserved it 1 582

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 806

You deserved it 59 541

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 110

You deserved it 8 884

Comeback

By sadguy - 18/02/2009 22:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 108

You deserved it 23 242

By prayforme - 11/11/2009 01:52 - United States

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 051

You deserved it 63 191

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 955

You deserved it 631

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 968

You deserved it 947

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 966

You deserved it 15 168

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 803

You deserved it 13 026

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 803

You deserved it 9 989

starflake 3

Friday 26 June 2009 10:23

Lol, YDI. Take some responsibility for yourself you idiot.

Sawadee 0

Friday 26 June 2009 10:16

No control is the best control.............. You can secretly mixed the plan b into her food or drink

Comments

superdudeman 0

Wednesday 1 July 2009 16:05

Oh, FINALLY! What kind of bitch doesn't put out. You sacrificed a month of your life for this woman! It's only right that you get some pussy out of it! Doucehbag. I hope she is pregnant. You can't just run around willy-nilly having sex with whomever you want and not expect consequences. Plus, she is clearly off her rocker to think that meditation is a form of birth control, something you should have picked up on if you were normal and got to know the people you had sex with before you had sex with them!

jahwn 12

Thursday 2 July 2009 1:36

If she gets pregnant tell her you're not paying child support.

AloysiusWeasley 15

Friday 3 July 2009 20:09

That's what happens when you date the fluffy-bunny types! XD

Courttt33 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 4:52

I feel for you I really do, but I would have given anything to see the look on your face after she said that!!

Muninn 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 8:41

I liked this better when it happened in that one episode of "Titus"... If I remember correctly, his younger brother's next line was "Oh. Then can I have my load back?" Fail.

Awesomeginger 0

Saturday 4 July 2009 10:43

Wow haha you SUCK I hope she get's pregnant!

iamtenyearsago 0

Tuesday 7 July 2009 11:43

Wait, you waited a month and you think it's "finally"? Yeah, that makes me feel like you deserve this.

Baby_Baby_BABY 0

Thursday 9 July 2009 14:30

the fact you made this post makes me feel like you need to loosen up!

sportylady 0

Wednesday 15 July 2009 4:21

Wow you really need to know what ur getting into ..... before you get into it

car6435 0

Tuesday 21 July 2009 15:20

ur gf is retarded. she will have to meditate on the ADOPTION. NOT ABORTION. becuz if it is just by chouce it is murder

yumpinyiminy 0

Saturday 25 July 2009 9:51

YDI because you were probably so excited about not using a condom, that you didn't bother asking how she was "handling" the birth control BEFORE you threw it in her.