Kids, Health and Cooking: Masterchef

Masterchef

By Anna - 25/07/2020 05:10

Today, my partner, our 5-month-old baby and I had to go to A&E because my idiot boyfriend mistook dishwasher Rinse Aid for cooking oil, and cooked a meal for us in it. As I'm breastfeeding, even our baby needed blood tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 724

You deserved it 449

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

By roadbikemama - 25/10/2009 18:42 - United States

Today, I was cooking. I leaned over the stove to preheat the oven, and burned my nipple on a pot of boiling water. I also have a teething son who is breastfeeding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 267

You deserved it 11 133

By burned - 24/05/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was cooking me dinner. He walked away and I decided to help by giving the pan of veggies a sautee flip. My boyfriend failed to mention that he had just pulled that pan out of a 500 degree oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 115

You deserved it 64 142

Cooked

By Un1ucky - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 292

You deserved it 7 527

Thanks a lot

By Not a maid - 14/07/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend was serving dinner, and decided to circle the table with my son's plate while making UFO noises. My son grabbed at the plate and spilled it, making a huge mess. They both decided that I should clean it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 173

By Burny - 12/10/2017 16:00

Today, my partner took a shower while in the middle of cooking something. My eyes are still burning from the smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 299

Too much of a good thing

By tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 436

You deserved it 256

Gordon Ramsey called, you're an idiot sandwich

By Anonymous - 30/04/2020 23:00

Today, I tried to make breakfast. I had everything cooking on the stove when I reached to turn on the faucet, only to find out that the head of the faucet was up the sleeve of my robe. After drying off, I went to serve my boyfriend his plate, but when I returned, the stove had caught fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 558

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 012

You deserved it 8 075

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I got up early to make a surprise breakfast in bed for my partner. As I was carrying the tray into the bedroom, I tripped and spilled the hot coffee all over them. We ended up in the emergency room so they could take a look at the burns I caused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 203

Barf

By sewraerae - 06/12/2021 22:59 - United States - Tampa

Today, while I took a short nap, my husband thought it would be a good idea to give our 9 month-old a shake with a whole milk base, despite being told several times he can’t digest it. Later, while we were out and about, he threw up. I rode home in the backseat with the baby, covered in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 143

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 25 July 2020 6:21

Assuming he failed to read the label, how did he not notice the smell?

princess_stabitty 20

Saturday 25 July 2020 12:00

... how do you mistake cooking oil and dishwasher rinse aid?

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 25 July 2020 5:22

Arts & Entertainment? The network? What can they do for you?

Bianca Zepter 2

Saturday 25 July 2020 5:56

Accident and emergency

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 25 July 2020 5:58

That sounds like a funner network! What channel is that?

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 25 July 2020 6:22

911

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 25 July 2020 6:21

Assuming he failed to read the label, how did he not notice the smell?

Jaymail 18

Saturday 25 July 2020 7:03

You’re making the same mistake I often do. It’s natural to ASSUME people have at least the same amount of smarts as we do. I’ve worked with the public long enough to know that that’s not necessarily so!

ClumbsyHotty 10

Sunday 26 July 2020 0:31

Hey do R Gene Is

ojoRojo 27

Saturday 25 July 2020 10:21

Dear lord that’s terrifying. Seriously hope you’re all okay!

princess_stabitty 20

Saturday 25 July 2020 12:00

... how do you mistake cooking oil and dishwasher rinse aid?

Jaymail 18

Saturday 25 July 2020 14:02

Should I repeat what I just now stated in this conversation string?

spinspinsugar 12

Saturday 25 July 2020 22:40

right?! they smell completely different!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Saturday 25 July 2020 21:37

What does intelligence have to do with a person's sense of smell? Last time I checked, cooking oil doesn't smell like synthetic lemon, or whatever chemical scent that particular dishwasher rinse aid had. The guy would have had to have been incapable of reading and smelling to make such a mistake. And if he didn't catch the scent when opening the bottle, how did he miss it while cooking the food?

Jaymail 18

Saturday 25 July 2020 22:12

Apparently you’ve never had to work Customer Service anywhere. There are some REALLY stupid people out there. I could tell you some stories about people’s intelligence. And if I did you’d really think I was making the stories up. Because, you’d think, nobody could be THAT stupid!

BurnInDemonFire 34

Tuesday 28 July 2020 4:25

I've worked in customer service before, and I've met plenty of idiots outside of that industry, as well, but none of them were so stupid that they couldn't correctly identify a smell.