Intimacy: Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over...

By UrbanCass - 25/06/2009 23:44 - United States

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 453

You deserved it 76 832

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Same thing different taste

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 394

You deserved it 1 582

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 806

You deserved it 59 541

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 110

You deserved it 8 884

Comeback

By sadguy - 18/02/2009 22:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 108

You deserved it 23 242

By prayforme - 11/11/2009 01:52 - United States

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 051

You deserved it 63 191

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 955

You deserved it 631

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 968

You deserved it 947

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 966

You deserved it 15 168

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 803

You deserved it 13 026

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 803

You deserved it 9 989

starflake 3

Friday 26 June 2009 10:23

Lol, YDI. Take some responsibility for yourself you idiot.

Sawadee 0

Friday 26 June 2009 10:16

No control is the best control.............. You can secretly mixed the plan b into her food or drink

Comments

no_luck83 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 5:19

congrats dad!!! when your new child is old enough to understand make sure to teach him/her the value of birth control

ANNI3_16 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 5:21

well you obviously didnt know her that well.

harlycarp21 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 6:17

thats frikin hilarious!

Implodend 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 6:22

Is the OP sure she said "mediTation" and not "mediCation"? Because the latter (if by meditation she meant BC) wouldn't be an FML at all...

xTIGERxLILYx 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 6:23

No offense, but... you're an idiot for 1. not wearing a condom, 2. for not at least trying to pull out, and 3. for NOT asking her that question beforehand.

Implodend 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 6:39

In the USA, it IS standard, and it IS accepted norm, but so is USING A CONDOM!!! (did i mention ydi to the op?)

GrapefruitZoe 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 7:19

Could you clarify what is standard and accepted norm?

CheshireAna 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 7:33

FYL and YDI. First off, you should've actually checked what birth control she was using. Secondly, you should've used a condom, anyways. Good luck to you. :/

katewasherexx 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 7:40

Wow. You FINALLY had sex with her after dating for a MONTH. You ****.

blaxk_kaizer 0

Saturday 27 June 2009 7:56

nice try guy but thanks to captain crush your dreams this came from an episode of titus where afterwards titus asks for "his load back" and im off to crush other idiots dreams!!!!