Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML
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Top comments
ItsAnanya 25
You could have just NOT convinced her to read it OP. YDI.
sabrinaacrow 26
Just tell her what it is for her reaction
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Comments (78)
Enslaved 38
"Can't tell you mom. Rules are rules."
perdix 31
*****, n. -- a guy who tricks his mom into reading pornography.
itzkyle 5
Not your fault! It was a great book, ofcourse you should've recommended it. Just... respond like "tis a tool used to clean dirty spots" Not exactly false
ballpython 15
Two words - Google Translate.
EvilUndead 9
18, in russian "*****" is imported and very uncommonly used word known mostly to english-speaking bilingual russians or hardcore **** fanatics. Instead of "*****" they use "falloimitator", which is known for much larger number of people. The word probably has medical origin.
darkmis1 18
Well how did you explain it?
born_hustla 26
Ever thought of a dictionary to go with that?!
Vearix 6
You act as if she's a teenage boy who is going to laugh at the meaning.
worldclassrager 41
Fight club is a good book...but not if english is not your first language...
brianarodz20 5
Haha . Lol lol the same thing happend with my mother in law ! She didnt know what a ***** is and a boner =_= lol