Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML
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Top comments
ItsAnanya 25
You could have just NOT convinced her to read it OP. YDI.
sabrinaacrow 26
Just tell her what it is for her reaction
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Comments (78)
perdix 31
#41, is it "dildeaux?" Est-ce que je suis ecrire? (Am I right? For those who don't no French.)
happylawyer 16
I thought idildo was an universal word together with Amen and Aleluya.
who10nanny 8
It's Chuck Palahniuk. Of course the word ***** is in there.
Ki11erC 18
Odd choice of been to suggest but I commend it, everyone knows the film and almost no one has read the book or even knows it exists. Also very different in places than the film.
fmelots 9
Chill out, you're not the one who chose to include a ***** in the story.
Imthebomb36 2
Hire a hitman. Curiosity kills the cat! :)
iamthunder 4
Just pull the one you have in your night stand drawer out and show her.
iwadasn 33
Why would you make her read a book you don't want to discuss with her? It sounds like it's not the kind of book she would want to read in the first place.
Xotoolyxo 16
Google translate is a beautiful thing
DatGuyFlorida 2
If dog is man's best friend, then a ***** is basically a woman's best friend with benefits