Today, I finally convinced my mom to read Fight Club. As English isn't her first language, she occasionally asked me to translate some of the words. Her latest question: "What's a dildo?" FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was reading a book in German, which I don't know very well. Suddenly I reached a passage I had no trouble understanding. Excited, I showed my husband, saying I was finally getting the hang of it. He laughed and patted my head. Turns out, that particular passage was a quote. In English. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
Today, my new boyfriend came over to my apartment for the first time. Up until now I thought he was great, but when he spotted the book I'm currently reading next to my couch, he uttered the immortal question, "Why do you read?" FML
Today, while I was working at a children's toy store, a woman walked in, looked around a bit, then asked if we sold dildos. FML
Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML
Today, in the middle of the supermarket, my 7 year old son asked me what a cocksucker is and why his mum always calls me that. FML
Today, I received a package. When my mom asked what I had bought, I had told her that I had ordered dumbbells and was going to start lifting. She laughed her way into the kitchen. FML
Today, my mom just handed me a book called "100 Ways To Motivate Yourself." FML
Today, my mom barged into my room, threw 5 boxes of condoms at me, then said, "So you don't get pregnant". She still hasn't accepted the fact that I'm a lesbian. FML
Today, the moment I had been fearing for the past few days arrived: my mom asked me if I knew what a groyper was. I don't know what's worse, that I know what they are, or that trying explain the concept is so convoluted, she now thinks I'm making shit up. FML
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Top comments
ItsAnanya 25
You could have just NOT convinced her to read it OP. YDI.
sabrinaacrow 26
Just tell her what it is for her reaction
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Comments (78)
grahmagog 14
Aww bless her
grahmagog 14
There can also be that "*****" means something else in her mother tongue? Which would kind of through throw a spanner into her reading " she lay there naked and was ready to turn on her "car door" for a night of solo fun" haha? See doesnt make sense? Maybe thats why she needed to know what one was
ozpunker 20
Don't get her to read Fifty Shades of Grey.
Rosicles 8
Totally not as bad as the time I asked the librarian what sodomy meant after reading it on the back of a Marilyn Manson record. I still cringe.
LordoftheOcelots 10
I think the fact that she talked about fight club is more of a reason for YDI
adam3650 12
Well -30 she's going to have a hard time translating if you're throwing spanners at her, while she's trying to read.
Raykyogrou03 12
Well at least you didn't tell her to read 50 shades of grey
ozpunker 20
Great minds think alike.
paprika_pilipili_fml 14
#18 I speak French, and we have a totally different word for "*****".
LittlestPrincess 21
in spanish too apparently. i've never said there isn't another word for it in any language. just that the possibility exists that there isn't in that particular language. anyway we'll never find out.
rosenkrieger223 24
We might find out if the OP replies at some point. That does happen occasionally.