By failedparenting - 07/09/2016 16:44 - United States - Bronx
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Your daughter sounds like she needs to learn some lessons about maturity. I suggest you find a way to deal with this before she steps up her game to something more harmful.
That was plenty harmful already. I'm assuming he had to drive, work, and do plenty of other important/potentially dangerous tasks while drowsy. Someone could have gotten seriously hurt or killed. His kid sounds like an irresponsible piece of work that needs a talk about consequences.
Punish her by putting sleeping pills into her coffee! Nevermind, don't do that pls
She's literally putting your life in danger for her cell phone? Sounds like you need to step your parenting skills up a notch...
At that point it's not failed parenting as much as the daughter's stupidity. You shouldn't have to teach your kid, who I assume is a teenager since she knew how to and was able to get her hands on sleeping pills, that is it not ok to drug your parent because they took your phone. Like seriously, that's not something normal people think of and have to be told that it's not ok to do.
it's not the parent or their parenting skills that are at fault for this. it's completely the child's as THE CHILD PURPOSELY DID THIS over a cell phone to their parents. they knew it was wrong, that it was petty, and how fucked up it is but did it anyways. i see all the time working with kids with wonderful parents that are loving and have reasonable rules. that cell phone needs to be tossed in the trash, if important for emergencies, a restricted, low tech track phone. No internet. Limited friends. Limited text amounts. This needs serious punishment, show this isn't going to be tolerated or treated lightly.
Honestly, you see what people SHOW. I've seen "great parents" who need a lesson or 2.. But hey, not arguing. I think if the parents did what they used to, and waited til an APPROPRIATE age to give the child a cell phone... they wouldn't be so petty? My opinion... dislike all ya'll want. My child would KNOW BETTER.. ( WITHOUT abuse..) felt necessary to add since people take things wrong?
We don't know when the kid got the phone or even the age so we can't say anything if that was a cause or not. Hell, depending where you live, phones are used now for emergency calls and keeping in contact with parents too. When you say abuse, are you talking about taking her phone and replacing it completely with a restricted phone? Are you seriously calling that abuse? ARE you a parent? No one took what you said wrong, you were judging the daughters actions as reflection of the parenting and that they aren't doing it well enough instead of it being solely the kids fault when it is the childs fault.
Oh my, what?? You need to have a very serious talk with her, as well as an even harsher punishment now. Sleeping medication can have very bad side effects, not to mention, what if you fell asleep while driving, or even just standing, and seriously injured yourself. I've been angry at my mom before, but never enough to even think about endangering her life. I'm sorry to say, but I'd really watch and be cautious if your daughter from now on. She can't be trusted, and this isn't normal behaviour, it's abusive and kind of sociopathic.
Yeah, your daughter needs to see a professional. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that giving someone sleeping pills (or just medication in general) without their knowledge is putting their health and life in danger. That kind of callous disregard for your safety is not something that can be solved by parenting measures in my opinion - you need a psychologist or even psychiatrist to figure out what the hell is wrong with her brain. She could've killed you.
I don't know, while you're most likely right, we don't know how old the daughter is, and even then I think we've all seen on this site that there are no bounds to human stupidity. She might have thought it would just make her sleepy and not considered it might lead to a fatal car crash or something like that. But I think it doesn't even really matter what exactly the daughter was thinking! It's definitely not normal to be so petty and vengeful that you would sabotage or medicate your parent for, you know, parenting. She should kiss her phone goodbye, because she better not be getting one in the next few years. Probably some therapy wouldn't hurt either.
I pretty much thought this too. She's old enough to have a phone, and old enough to know the effects of sleeping pills. Something is seriously wrong that she did this. You (OP) could have fallen asleep driving or anything else and that could have been a giant disaster. I suggest that this kiddo doesn't get the phone back, and talks to a professional. I'd also look into locking up any substances like this, since clearly she can't be trusted not to, you know, try and kill you.
Send her to military school before it's too late. That kind of behavior is not only inappropriate and unacceptable, but also dangerous!
Military school is not the military. It is a disciplined schooling environment that follows a military style system. Not everyone in the military is heroes, all kinds of people have assholes, but people who serve in their countries military have decided to potential lose their lives to depend it from other assholes.
If a kid does something wrong you don't just send them off.. OP's daughter did something really bad, but unless she continuously does harmful things and gets to the point of being unable to control her, I don't think it's the right move. If this is a first time thing then I still think there's a chance to...I don't know, parent and actually teach her? If a kid can't be taught and refuses to listen it's one thing, I don't see why you should ship your kid off when they do something wrong if it's not a continuous behavior. I feel that should be a last resort.
Empathy isn't just feeling what they feel it's also understanding that they have feelings in the first place. A complete and utter lack of empathy isn't "I am not able to in 2 seconds understand WHAT you are feeling" it's "I don't care nor give a shit that you feel you're in my way now move and/or die" IF a person has an utter lack of empathy then they view other people as tools, objects, things. Not people. Ideally a person with a lack of empathy has been taught to know boundaries so even though they don't care how it will affect the other person they understand how for example killing the other person would negatively affect themselves. As for anyone preaching leniency seriously she drugged her mom. She knew the effect the drugs would have and gave them to her. That's not mischevious at best it's criminal. If her mom has a glass of wine, operates heavy machinery etc. Also note that she's been feeling this way for a week. It wasn't a one time "prank" This is where you need to have a simple guideline if the action someone you care about takes against you would get anyone else jail time then you most definitely need to either call the police or get them into therapy and figure out what's wrong. Most kids don't think drugging their parents is a good solution to their problems anymore than assault or any other crime that we claim we hate but so many are like "well it's okay they're your kid" It's not okay. Ever.
No the military does not teach respect nor doing the right thing. In my time in the service the people rewarded and "respected" were those cheating on their wives. I was shunned when I was asked who I was going to sleep with on weekend pass during training and my response was that I was married. It was just expected that you lie and cheat it was damn near mandatory. Other people women especially are mere tools to get what you want and compassion is wrong. IF someone fucked up we were taught to beat them until they fell in line. Whether it was an asshole trying to get the unit in trouble or just some kid doing his damn best to get shit right. We had at least one suicide attempt and all anyone else did was spend the rest of training mocking him for it. So no the military doesn't teach you to do the "right thing" or "respect" what it does is amplifies what's already there. If you're a good person you'll find the inner strength to stick to your convictions even when that eventually means leaving the service. If you're a shitty person you'll walk all over everyone else to get a held and tell whistle blowers to shut up. Sending someone like this girl to military school would be the worst decision in the world because what they teach her will mean next time her mom won't wake up. And before someone replies and tries to tell me that my experience must have been a fluke. Think about the fact men and women are both raped in the military and the powers that be tell them to suck it up and soldier on or get out. Think about the fact they aren't training people to be "good" people they are training people to be "bad" people. You are training to kill. To be able to kill to be of a mind set that when shit hits the fan you will not hesitate and you will take another life to save your own and the one next to you. That is a level of disregard that doesn't allow for compassion, empathy in the equation. It's in fact discouraged because the moment you start to feel like the enemy is a person the moment you lose your edge.