Money and Health: Plumes - FML

Plumes

By Anonymous - 09/12/2022 06:00

Today, I picked up a carton of cigarettes for my stepfather from the store. He smokes the equivalent of nearly half my paycheck a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 164

Money Health

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By LizzyJones - 20/08/2013 17:38 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my husband bought me a present for our three year anniversary. It was a pack of 20 cigarettes. I don't smoke. He does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 171

You deserved it 8 982

By Anonymous - 21/09/2013 04:07 - United States - Mccomb

Today, my mom found my dad's hidden stash of cigarettes. He told her they were mine and now I have to spend two hours at therapy for my "smoking problem" every weekend. I've never smoked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 165

You deserved it 3 520

By Joe - 04/08/2011 18:28 - United States

Today, I asked a guy if he could buy me a pack of cigarettes, since I'm still under 18. He took my money, went into the supermarket, and must have slipped out a side-entrance, because he never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 796

You deserved it 126 043

By bbbeast - 28/07/2009 02:42 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me if I'd started smoking, I gave him a big speech about how I never have and never will. Two hours later, he found my stash of cigarettes under my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 979

You deserved it 136 228

Dad priorities

By hellishome - 29/09/2019 00:01

Today, as he was going out, I asked my father if he stop by the store and buy some tampons for me and toilet paper for the house, because we have been out for the last 5 days. He came home with a 30-pack of beer and cigarettes instead. I just started my time of the month and we have no more money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 309

You deserved it 191

Unreasonable

By Dano - 07/08/2021 10:01

Today, I was fired from my job for not buying a pack of cigarettes for my boss. I only lasted two months in that junkyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 847

You deserved it 76

Caught in 4K

By reptar2009 - 02/12/2009 00:49 - United States

Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 423

You deserved it 87 542

By Goody2shoes - 21/07/2010 16:08 - India

Today, my mom found my pack of cigarettes. She's now making me go to rehab. I had only smoked one cigarette ever just to try it. I didn't even like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 786

You deserved it 47 109

By Anonymous - 18/05/2019 20:00

Today, I realized cigarettes are my cure for boredom. I bore myself out of $2000-plus a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 839

You deserved it 1 871

By alexbobalex - 11/01/2010 07:23 - Aland Islands

Today, my mom found a pack of cigarettes in my pocket. She hates smoking, so she tore every single cigarette to pieces, then emptied a bag of kitty litter on them. On my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 910

You deserved it 57 611

Next

Top comments

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:21

Why don't you just get him some nicotine gum and tell him to buy his own cancer sticks?

Battousai124 5

Saturday 10 December 2022 19:03

Stop buying him cigarettes, if he can't afford them, that is his problem.

Comments

Carrie 12

Friday 9 December 2022 11:20

Half your weekly pay cheque or monthly?

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:20

Probably her fortnightly paycheck.

Yudith 24

Friday 9 December 2022 13:20

Have you thought about buying your stepfather's cigarettes at Kanesatake or Akwesasne like everyone else? This way, his cigs will only cost a quarter of your paycheck.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 9 December 2022 16:21

Why don't you just get him some nicotine gum and tell him to buy his own cancer sticks?

Battousai124 5

Saturday 10 December 2022 19:03

Stop buying him cigarettes, if he can't afford them, that is his problem.

Keywords

Love Nice Guys Creepypasta Weird LGBTQIA+ Religion Work Awkward Health Painful Food Transportation Intimacy Sex Death Coworkers Politics Mental health Technology Cars Parents Social Media Video games Gamers Poopoo peepee Kids Animals Cats Snow Bosses

The Top

Today, my boss in my police department told me to start enforcing the "No bikes on sidewalks" law, which we usually ignore. I pulled up behind the first person I saw riding a bike on a sidewalk and flashed my lights. It turned out to be a boy with Down's syndrome, who was so upset he cried and peed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 569

You deserved it 14 595

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I don’t have a life outside of him. I don’t have any friends other than him, nor do I have any hobbies or interests; he’s the centre of my world. Apparently this makes me too available, needy, and codependent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 1 047

The Top

Today, I showed up to work at 6am, only to find out the schedule was changed. I wasn't actually supposed to be there until 9:15. My boss never told me this. I didn't get to go home either, he just said "Oh well. Get to work." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 398

You deserved it 2 973

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 822

You deserved it 4 809

Today, since I was grounded, I tried to sneak out of my room to attend a party by climbing out the second-storey window and down the tree. I was unharmed, but I probably should have checked to see if my dad was in the garden before climbing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 042

You deserved it 49 357

Today, I was at my job as a bartender where I had to listen to a 40-something man with no legs drunkenly explain just how much he loves nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 198

You deserved it 3 942

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 688

You deserved it 6 305

Today, is my 21st birthday. My friends took me to a bar to celebrate, knowing I don't drink. I am now in charge of driving my friends home after they had an awesome night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 986

You deserved it 9 382