By fat and alone - 05/06/2014 04:11 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks 39 169
You deserved it 18 089

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You mean it's not normal to fart out of your neck??? Uh oh.

TorturedXeno 27

Well, at least you acknowledge there's a problem. That's the first step toward a solution.


You mean it's not normal to fart out of your neck??? Uh oh.

Put the twinky down sir..

Demig0d6 14

May I recommend op to Jeff's Shredded Club

incoherentrmblr 21

You sure that's not just you cracking your neck?...

#58, cracking sounds and fart sounds are markedly different. OP is a phat phuck. They need to lose the damn weight.

@58 I somewhat agree with you about OP needing to lose weight, and I believe that this is a YDI for letting themselves get to that point in the first place, even if OP has a low metabolism (if you have a low metabolism you should watch how you eat), but you REALLY could have been a lot less harsh about the way you said it.

incoherentrmblr 21

#76, I think you're referring to #75...

@78 Oh, yes, my bad! I was so caught up in telling them how rude it was that I had mistaken what number the comment was! I apologize :-)

I thought it was. My bad.

TorturedXeno 27

Well, at least you acknowledge there's a problem. That's the first step toward a solution.

Well good luck!

Good luck OP!

yoursucklives 36

that's what it takes to make you realize that you need to go on a diet? anyway, good luck ;)

badluckalex 23

you dont have to be fat to do that

I've heard of people farting out of their stomas so OP is definitely not alone.

There are lots of tasty things that are good for you. Try clean, unpeeled fresh carrots as a snack, you can microwave a potato in around 5 minutes and if you leave the skin on it is much better for you. Instead of bacon and eggs have eggs with some lightly fried tomatoes and mushrooms. Make one small change every day, and you'll get there.

badluckalex 23

Paula Dean, is that you?

MAD01502 20

yeah, cause fired and microwaved stuff are so much better...

#12 a microwaved potato with the skin on is better for you and keeps you full longer than chips or a bread roll. Tomato and mushrooms have less calories and more vitamins that bacon, and keep you full for longer.

MAD01502 20

I understand that they are healthier, but you are recommending people to fry vegetables? That takes out all their vitamins, man... and it's not just about things that keep you full, it's about the proteins and nutrients in food and most importantly, the amount of energy your meals confer.

well the key is moderation. as long as op isn't deep frying all of their fruits and veges i think the occasional sauteed veg on the plate as a garnish is fine.

Don't thing they meant fry it as in fried with grease. Just cook it in a pan with a small amount of butter so it don't stick.

I don't know about you, but I'm not eating raw mushrooms, they're disgusting. Chuck them in a fry pan with a dab of butter for a minute or so and they're much tastier.

I'm kind of curious as to how a neck fart would actually be done now. Do explain?

Kuro_Kamen 12

I'm curious how fat you have to be too to do this.

joemud 13

Not cool

Please spare us the nightmares and do Not explain.

MAD01502 20

Rather than giving up on my favourite foods, I'd exercise a lot... Life sucks anyway, at least wee should be able make it better with some ice cream and cookies!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

#10 You should moderate the amount of junk you eat, because you won't be healthy (no matter what size you are) if you don't have good eating habits.

MAD01502 20

Why do you directly assume that just because i don't like giving up on my favorite foods I'm some sort of junk-eater? Being overweight is so much more than your eating habits!

Hiimhaileypotter 52

I was speaking in general, #42... All I was saying is that if you moderate what you (wasn't talking about YOU personally) eat it makes a huge difference in your health. If you work out but still have a shit diet, it won't be as noticeable because there won't be as much of a difference. Diet is a major part of losing weight, it matters more than it sounds like you believe it does. Again, I wasn't talking about you personally but rather people in general, so try not to jump the gun and assume that I'm assuming. :)

maronofhearts 19

When you start your comment by calling out a person by number then saying "you" thats not being general and #10 has every right to assume you're talking about him when you do that. I understand if you meant for it to be general but the way you wrote it looks very specific

at least you got the ability to fart with your neck compared to us

RedPillSucks 31

That's a good thing?