Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I learned that it isn’t normal to fart hundreds of times a day, no matter what I eat. FML
Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
Today, after years of my very poor diet finally resulted in a long overdue health scare, I declared I must try to live healthier. Also today, I was reminded of my hypersensitive gag reflex (I'm autistic), which causes my body to vehemently protest the consumption of a variety of healthy foods. This sucks. FML
Today, I hate my body. If I eat anything at all, even a piece of fruit, I get terrible stomach cramps, and yet if I go too long without eating, I get gassy diarrhoea. FML
Today, I tried to get to bed at a reasonable hour. Despite not deviating from what I typically eat, I was kept up nearly all night by my farts. The foods I eat typically don't give me gas this badly. FML
Today, despite not eating for a week, my digestive system is still overflowing with gas and I fart every 2 minutes. No medicines help, and the six doctors I’ve been to have not been able to find anything wrong with me. FML
Today, the smell of my own fart made me feel hungry. FML
Today, I finished up a week of this new "Liquid Foods" diet I learned about from a friend. After a week of denying myself of my favorite foods and eating only non-fat yoghurt and smoothies, I have not only gained 2 pounds, but have diarrhea. Just in time for my anniversary. FML
Today, I ate some hardboiled eggs for breakfast, not knowing they were practically rotten. My whole day has consisted of vomit-inducing sulfuric farts and diarrhea. FML
Today, after two full months of trying to gain weight, I haven’t gained a single pound. Instead, I now have severe and irreversible digestive problems from overeating. FML
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Top comments
siggy_mcsigx 22
So don't eat this way?
Brightside86 31
Had a similar experience turned out as an adult I've become more restricted in the amount of dairy my system can handle. If your diet includes dairy try some lactaid. Otherwise try a probiotic, should help. Though long term I think you'll be happier finding a diet you can handle naturally.
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Comments (11)
Crowned Sataness 12
uh yeah that sounds like a quack diet that you learned from a flat earther with a tin foil hat. you might want to return to actually edible foods because clearly this diet is dangerous
diraven 15
Cauliflower. Am I right?
siggy_mcsigx 22
So don't eat this way?
Brightside86 31
Had a similar experience turned out as an adult I've become more restricted in the amount of dairy my system can handle. If your diet includes dairy try some lactaid. Otherwise try a probiotic, should help. Though long term I think you'll be happier finding a diet you can handle naturally.
Huldan MeGroyn 13
Sounds like you need a new diet.
RichardPencil 32
Go back to your old diet of candy, bacon and beer.
BurnInDemonFire 39
That shouldn't be normal with any diet.
Nhayaa 21
Well please tell us what is this new diet so we won't try it.
Paul Hendry 10
I am on a diet but don't suffer these symptoms. A diet doesn't have to be drastic. It's simply calories in Vs calories out.. reduce Ur calories by making healthier choices e.g. a toast/egg instead of cereals for breakfast etc
Yudith 28
I tried the toast/egg thing. Turns out a toast with a fried egg on top contains more calories than a bowl of Cheerios. Check the calorie content of the food before you decide it's better that what you're actually eating. And don't forget to exercise!
Paul Hendry 10
you may be right - but eggs/toast is BETTER choice, fills you up for longer and has benefits vs a cereal..
peterblackmer91 12
So change your diet??