Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
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Top comments
Grauncho 27
Looks like he got dessert with that meal.
xtna 9
The ass grope. By definition the best way to thank someone.
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Comments (98)
huntergirl1226 3
He wanted desert ;)
JimmyHopkins 7
Think of it like this, you probably made his YEAR by letting him do that.
_lifehappens_ 29
Sweet of you to do something nice, sorry to hear abt the groping though ;/
jh921971 10
You give a little you get a little :P
randigos 3
He's a keeper!
False_Stupidity 42
Still a better love story than twi....*BLAM!*
XypherDubstep 8
When you fall asleep at night on your bed that's not made out of plastic bags just remember your ass made someone homeless mans day. You have a magical ass that can save lives
Sophie_Hart 9
For a homeless person, that was probably the closest thing to sex.
howdoilogin 9
Lesson learned, don't help crazy homeless people.
pooldude 24
Sounds like he got a dessert too!!