By Anonymous - 8/8/2020 14:02

Imitation is a form of flattery. Or is it?

Today, and ever since he saw the infamous interview that was on TV the other day, every time I say something to my husband, he keeps quoting, "You can't do that!" and "You don't know that!" at me in Donald Trump's voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1138

You deserved it

156

Favorite

Drinking is bad for you, most of the time

Or he's just becoming an old goober

Innocent

By mikey09 - 17/1/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34501

You deserved it

9256

Favorite

By Anonymous - 25/11/2013 19:47 - United States - Olive Branch

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46847

You deserved it

13800

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/5/2013 10:52 - United States

Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42158

You deserved it

7342

Favorite

By danjoylovefun - 25/10/2010 00:36 - United States

Today, I woke up to shit on my floor and my cat hiding under my comforter. I have to get rid of my new fish because my cat is afraid of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27524

You deserved it

3450

Favorite

By Anonymous - 1/7/2016 18:24 - United States - Mission

Today, I lost my virginity. We'd both waited until marriage, so I thought it'd be nice and romantic. Nope. He slipped it into my ass and claimed he didn't know which hole was the right one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21563

You deserved it

5152

Favorite

By thafinest - 12/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I received a call from a collection agency. Since I had no clue, I was ready to file a police report for stolen identity. I then called my mom only to find out she has been opening new credit cards with my information for 3 years and not paying them. My credit is ruined and I'm only 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46063

You deserved it

2250

Favorite

By StayedHome89 - 20/12/2009 06:25 - United States

Today, I ran into some friends from high school who had just gotten back from college. We were talking about what happened during our sophomore year. When it was my turn to tell them what I had been doing, all I could say was "Well, I started wearing V-Neck t-shirts and they're pretty comfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks

10678

You deserved it

28095

Favorite

By "bluebird97" - 28/12/2018 20:00

Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me 4 times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift 2 days in a row, apparently that is insensitive of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2633

That could've happened to me

220

Favorite

By matish - 20/9/2018 13:30

Today, despite having long hair and wearing makeup and a dress, I was still mistaken for a man several times. I'm a girl and I was born a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2897

You deserved it

185

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 01:42 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend likes to show his female co-workers his dick, by emailing them pictures of it. I found out when he included my email address in with theirs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33683

You deserved it

3046

Favorite

By Anonymous - 29/12/2011 22:06 - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11135

You deserved it

38588

Favorite

By Anonymous - 4/4/2015 04:04 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I visited my girlfriend's apartment for the first time. I guess she forgot to do some spring cleaning before I showed up, because I saw my laptop on her couch. The same laptop that was stolen from my house along with several other valuables last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38533

You deserved it

2856

Favorite

By theflow - 15/8/2012 17:08 - Australia - Perth

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42084

You deserved it

4516

Favorite

By ScarredForLife - 25/12/2009 06:28 - United States

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34659

You deserved it

11841

Favorite

By f4444 - 21/12/2015 05:38 - United States - Highland Park

Today, the guy I thought I was exclusive with admitted that the only reason he comes over is because no one else will sleep with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23971

You deserved it

2580

Favorite

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:27 - United States

Today, I pulled over to help an attractive girl on the highway in the middle of nowhere. When I asked if she needed help she told me she was going to try starting her car one more time. She then started to make fake engine noises and told me that she was good to go and that I should be on my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41290

You deserved it

5963

Favorite

By fleur_de_fevrier - 21/12/2008 15:36 - Ireland

Today, I finally decided to go Christmas shopping. It's only once I arrived that I realized that I had forgotten my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10099

You deserved it

24045

Favorite

By tgpgs - 19/1/2011 14:55

Today, at work, I spent half an hour on the phone with a customer. At the end of the conversation, as he was putting down the phone, I heard him say 'God, he was a miserable git'. I'm a 28 year old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25040

You deserved it

3829

Favorite

By tallesttree54 - 11/11/2016 00:38

Today my boyfriend proposed to me and I gladly accepted. The first words out of his mouth after getting off his knees were, "I own you now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

10420

You deserved it

1336

Favorite

By flipflap - 14/6/2015 06:35

Today, I tried to get a piece of glass out of my big toe. After an hour of poking and prodding, I finally got it out only for it to fall on the floor where I couldn't find it. Not five minutes later, I stepped on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27180

You deserved it

7037

Favorite

By toriforever - 5/7/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, I have to pack for tomorrow's family vacation. For one week I get to be stuck in a one bedroom cabin with my alcoholic father, bipolar mother, and two much younger siblings who have a passion for screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51506

You deserved it

4342

Favorite

By WasteOfOxygen08 - 23/6/2019 04:34

Crockery story

Today, I woke up and headed downstairs ready to do the dishes, when my mom hissed at me to, “go do the dishes!” As I was washing them, my mom stood over me the whole time. She eventually said, “You know, it’s pretty fucking sad that I still have to tell you to do these things.” FML

I agree, your life sucks

1715

You deserved it

403

Favorite

By Anonymous - 18/9/2019 04:02 - United Kingdom - Southampton

WTF VHS?

Today, a teacher asked me to edit a video of her class. Unfamiliar with cameras that work with video tape, I accidentally recorded over her video. The footage is impossible for me to get back. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1113

You deserved it

905

Favorite

By offuckingcourse - 6/8/2013 05:07 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I went to my boss's dinner party. My sister, who also works with me, sat across from me at the table. I felt her kick me so I kicked her back. Then I heard something start crying. It was the boss's baby crawling under the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

59521

You deserved it

20199

Favorite

By Jay - 4/11/2017 04:00

Today, I got called into the principal's office of my son's school. Why? He'd called his teacher a "fudge packer". No more weekends with his uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3182

You deserved it

326

Favorite

By Anonymous - 23/7/2012 07:35 - Canada - Brampton

Today, I mowed over a bird while mowing the lawn. It wasn't dead, so I had to mow over it a second time to put it out of its misery. Now there are pieces of dead bird all over my lawn and I can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29027

You deserved it

19156

Favorite

By WesJaz - 8/1/2010 16:35 - United States

Today, I was working as a cashier and a woman brought up a suitcase. As I was ringing her up I checked inside like I'm supposed to and I very jokingly say, "Look at all the stuff you're stealing." She laughed nervously then hit me in the head with her heavy purse before running out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36392

You deserved it

4434

Favorite

By Anonymous - 2/7/2019 13:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1477

You deserved it

150

Favorite

By cocoapuffs4life - 10/6/2015 23:45 - Canada - Aurora

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26514

You deserved it

1709

Favorite

By sam.exe - 29/4/2016 19:26 - United States - New York

Today, I was declined a sales position at a local store. As I headed out, I heard the interviewer telling a colleague, "Christ. That kid had less charisma than Microsoft Sam." FML

I agree, your life sucks

13038

You deserved it

1736

Favorite

By forever dog-less - 22/12/2018 04:00

Today, my mom told me to go meet a rescue dog. After doing all my research and emailing shelters left and right, I finally got a call. It went well! Then, my mom told me it would never happen. I'm still expecting several emails from the shelters I contacted, so I get to relive this pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2161

You deserved it

177

Favorite

By t2t2sync - 3/8/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, while leaving work, I noticed a woman struggling with her wheelchair. Trying to be kind, I grabbed the handles and began to push her. A few moments later, the front wheels caught on something and I ended up dumping her onto the ground. Now my coworkers all think I'm a huge douche. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35430

You deserved it

5671

Favorite

By 20singleandproudish - 23/10/2014 05:18 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38668

You deserved it

3699

Favorite

By Anonymous - 20/4/2016 00:56 - United States - Oceanside

Today, my husband's ex-girlfriend is getting a restraining order on him. Turns out, for the past 2 years of our marriage, he has been trying to contact her and ditching work to stalk her. To top it all off, he told me not to come to court with him because he doesn't want her to see he downgraded. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30503

You deserved it

2199

Favorite

By creeped - 29/12/2010 00:50 - United States

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26613

You deserved it

4522

Favorite

By ditched - 6/8/2014 03:35 - United States - Ashland

Today, I found out my co-workers don't actually like me when they changed the hangout spot after accidentally inviting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39933

You deserved it

3816

Favorite

By Lonile13 - 7/9/2016 03:28 - Philippines

Today, after 2 years and 5 months, my boyfriend finally found my clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18033

You deserved it

5330

Favorite

By Anonymous - 10/3/2016 01:46 - United States

Today, my aunt's last words to me were, "Don't be an idiot". FML

I agree, your life sucks

19348

You deserved it

2774

Favorite

By lyss - 16/11/2018 10:30 - United States - New Prague

Today, my 4-year-old daughter asked me when I was going to be skinny like her daycare lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2470

You deserved it

340

Favorite

By Socarates - 18/2/2011 21:07 - Ireland

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29162

You deserved it

5666

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Jaymail | 16

#7929386 - Saturday 8 August 2020 19:21

Yes. Anybody who has the mentality to like Trump deserves to be dumped! I see trouble down the road. Now if he’s just making fun of him then that’s OK. Trump deserves to be made fun with. I can see a whole stand-up comedy routine mimicking Trump.

By millsjoshua949 | 12

#7929393 - Saturday 8 August 2020 19:52

That's obnoxious but funny.

COMMENTS

By Jonkbaby | 19

#7929355 - Saturday 8 August 2020 16:09

dump his as!!

By Jaymail | 16

#7929386 - Saturday 8 August 2020 19:21

By millsjoshua949 | 12

#7929393 - Saturday 8 August 2020 19:52

That's obnoxious but funny.

By juggalo2 | 13

#7929481 - Sunday 9 August 2020 4:51

You must be so turned on. Tell him you feel something "Stormy" brewing.

By Matthew Irmen | 10

#7929585 - Sunday 9 August 2020 15:28

You are lucky to be the audience for all that talent