Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a... - FML

By Anonymous - 16/5/2009 00:11 - Canada

Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks

36366

You deserved it

18162

Tweet

Share

Toxic parents

Never flip flop and drive

Mr Sensitivity

By Anonymous - 11/11/2012 18:50 - United States - La Porte

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27835

You deserved it

6265

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/4/2020 08:00

Hello everyone!

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2136

You deserved it

262

Tweet

Share

By cheezeits - 26/10/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, my long-distance girlfriend asked me if she could see someone else on the side. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36061

You deserved it

6808

Tweet

Share

By father-in-nope - 21/7/2015 15:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend's dad helped me put coolant in my car. When I said I wished I could do something in return, he told me to get an abortion so I wouldn't "ruin" his son's life. When I told my boyfriend, he didn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29341

You deserved it

2736

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/9/2013 14:16 - United States - Portland

Today, I noticed that my car's passenger-side door has cobwebs all over it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46490

You deserved it

7095

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/6/2020 14:03

Hairy situation

Today, after taking hair growth pills and using hair growth medicated shampoos, I have not seen any different in my thinning hair. Can't say the same about the hair sprouting on my knuckles, chin, and toes. My pubes are very thick, silky, and luscious thanks to the treatment. I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1405

You deserved it

183

Tweet

Share

By PleaseDontHateMe - 20/9/2016 16:42 - Canada - Stony Plain

Today, I tried to impress a girl by draping my arm over the back of her chair. I ended up elbowing her in the nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10232

You deserved it

4936

Tweet

Share

By pizzachest - 19/8/2011 13:11 - Canada

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31252

You deserved it

2828

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/9/2020 19:02 - United States - Saint Paul

Stress level: 2020

Today, after pushing myself really hard all week to find a new job, I was looking forward to having a nice relaxing weekend with my family. Nope, I got a migraine and can barely function, but also can't sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks

934

You deserved it

65

Tweet

Share

By bcf1234 - 15/10/2010 04:06 - United States

Today, I waited in line at Subway. There were two people in front of me. The first lady had seven sandwiches and the second lady had four. So after patiently waiting, I ordered my sandwich, only to have my credit card declined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26510

You deserved it

12065

Tweet

Share

By loser - 31/7/2012 14:21 - United States

Today, I found out that the only reason my guy friends actually hang out with me at my house all the time is because they think my mom is hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27394

You deserved it

2502

Tweet

Share

By DepressedCellist - 27/9/2018 12:00

Today, my boyfriend and I had band practice for our duo. I've been playing cello for almost a year and wanted to incorporate it. He picked it up for pretty much the first time and sounded surprisingly good. I was excited until I realized he sounded better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2433

You deserved it

484

Tweet

Share

By forgottendaughter - 17/1/2010 14:41 - South Africa

Today, my father asked me to never contact him again. The reason? His "new" family doesn't know I exist and explaining that he has a 28 year old daughter to his wife and his other children would be "awkward". I have siblings that I will never meet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48725

You deserved it

2554

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 26/3/2009 23:39 - United States

Today, I was at QuickTrip. As I was leaving, I passed a woman who was saying "stay" very sternly through her open driver's side door. I smiled as I passed, saying "Your dog wants to follow you huh? I've been there." She glared at me and said "No. That's my son. He's mentally challenged." FML

I agree, your life sucks

51753

You deserved it

25985

Tweet

Share

By naomids - 30/12/2011 00:29 - United States

Today, my mom asked me to help pick out clothes for my grandma to wear in her casket. I didn't know she'd died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37130

You deserved it

3001

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/6/2015 05:01 - Canada - Lansdowne

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32908

You deserved it

4702

Tweet

Share

By porkeater - 16/7/2009 15:02 - United States

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43243

You deserved it

13574

Tweet

Share

By LG - 17/3/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38549

You deserved it

4120

Tweet

Share

By Pickle - 3/3/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we catch some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28137

You deserved it

5293

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 13/5/2020 02:00

Team breaking

Today, I went on a work team-building day at a snow park. Thirty minutes in, while I was climbing out of a slide, my 210 lb coworker ploughed into me in a donut ring. He obliterated my ankle and I've now got three months in a cast to look forward to. So much for the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1390

You deserved it

116

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/10/2012 17:59 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

21426

You deserved it

5041

Tweet

Share

By Alyssa - 21/3/2012 01:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I paid $50 on a haircut. Halfway through, I realized the hair dresser was drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29360

You deserved it

5093

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/4/2011 21:05 - United States

Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33440

You deserved it

5040

Tweet

Share

By anon - 14/4/2015 00:51 - United States

Today, I learned that my girlfriend is not a screamer nor a moaner, she's a biter. My arm is getting stitches right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34302

You deserved it

3748

Tweet

Share

By Surfinbird09 - 20/12/2009 12:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a girl I liked for her number, but she claimed she had a broken phone and was getting a new one for Christmas. Unhinged, I go home and go onto Facebook. First thing I see is her status: "Why is no one answering my calls?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

30653

You deserved it

4038

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/4/2020 02:00

Deal or no Deal

Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

909

You deserved it

1783

Tweet

Share

By Jaybird1587 - 3/8/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, I was just about to get in the shower, when I heard a loud crunch. I thought to myself, boy the neighbours next door must be doing some heavy construction. Two seconds after that thought, my brother knocked on the door to inform me that the neighbours tree had just fallen on my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

50894

You deserved it

2478

Tweet

Share

By bubba - 17/10/2011 10:02 - China

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years felt comfortable enough with me to disclose that he had previously spent 4 years in a mental institute because he tried to kill his mother. He also told me we will be together forever. I'm scared. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58051

You deserved it

5352

Tweet

Share

By hakuna matata - 31/10/2012 10:06 - United States - Paso Robles

Today, I told my dad and brother that I want to take Zumba classes. My brother said, "Did you hear that? Pumbaa wants to Zumba!" Then he starting dancing and making pig noises. My dad high-fived him. When my mom heard, she high-fived him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28882

You deserved it

3593

Tweet

Share

By DumbassRoaster - 10/7/2016 19:44 - United States - Fairview

Today, I was woken up by my dad and my dog barking at each other, and my dad yelling, "I am the Alpha male!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12485

You deserved it

1709

Tweet

Share

By majorlyturnedoff - 21/8/2012 03:02 - United States

Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31150

You deserved it

3289

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/9/2020 07:02 - United Kingdom

People have lists?!

Today, I found my girlfriend's list of people she's slept with on her Google docs. There was 11 names after mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1549

You deserved it

153

Tweet

Share

By Gee - 16/6/2017 02:00

Today, I helped a stranger exchange 3,000 Argentinian pesos for US dollars through my bank. They gave him $3,000. The exchange rate is close to $195. My bank realized their mistake and now my bank account is -$2,805 expecting me to pay it back. All this happened before my recent paycheck came in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4009

You deserved it

1790

Tweet

Share

By anonymous - 27/6/2015 17:40 - United States

Today, my mom said that if I wasn't her daughter, she probably wouldn't even like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26086

You deserved it

2832

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/12/2010 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24575

You deserved it

4491

Tweet

Share

By That guy - 8/8/2016 15:45 - United States - Mansfield

Today, I was told that every week the grocery store I work for has a "mystery customer" who shops throughout the store and rates us. Our store has gotten straight 100s for the past two years, and I ruined their streak. Apparently, I was the worst they've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12476

You deserved it

3486

Tweet

Share

By uninspired - 28/1/2009 11:47 - United States

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27267

You deserved it

2242

Tweet

Share

By victimboi - 5/6/2009 19:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a taxi home from work. Only having notes in my wallet, I told the taxi driver that I'd run inside my house and come back out with the change for the journey. He agreed, but only if I left my bag as collateral. It seemed fair. An hour later, I realized my wallet was missing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17291

You deserved it

48208

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 22/6/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me and I told him about the AnimeCon I'm attending, and that I wanted to go as Sailor Mars, he told me he had no idea what that was. After being mad for about ten minutes, I realized that I wanted to break up with him over not knowing what Sailor Moon was. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12980

You deserved it

84316

Tweet

Share

By Ewwwwno - 19/9/2017 11:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I found out that most of my family has the same fetish as I do. I don't know whether to be revolted or relieved that I'm not the only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3406

You deserved it

551

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By redbluegreen | 40

#203104 - Saturday 16 May 2009 12:29

Um, desperate much?

If they look homeless, I'd be cautious just to talk to them. This is a whole new level of... awkward.
Random guys you meet at bus stops that ask you on dates... Just... No.

By lady_n | 0

#203074 - Saturday 16 May 2009 12:12

umm, didn't he even look homeless?
hahah

COMMENTS

By lady_n | 0

#203074 - Saturday 16 May 2009 12:12

umm, didn't he even look homeless?
hahah

By 24788 | 6

#203078 - Saturday 16 May 2009 12:13

They're just jealous!

By thattickles | 0

#203094 - Saturday 16 May 2009 12:23

did they say that because he looked homeless or because they knew he was homeless? maybe your friends are just snobby, lol. if he's cute, maybe his excuse is that the economy is bad and you should go for it :D

Reply

johobus28 | 26

#6110303 - Wednesday 5 November 2014 16:26

I don't understand why everyone's flipping out because the guy's homeless. Just because he doesn't have a home, that means he should be denied affection? That's just not okay

By redbluegreen | 40

#203104 - Saturday 16 May 2009 12:29

Um, desperate much?

If they look homeless, I'd be cautious just to talk to them. This is a whole new level of... awkward.
Random guys you meet at bus stops that ask you on dates... Just... No.

Reply

hryffff | 11

#5477372 - Saturday 4 May 2013 2:37

That was rude.

Reply

michelleJ11 | 25

#5623495 - Monday 12 August 2013 3:39

57, would you go out with random guys that come up to you? How about if they were noticeably homeless ?

By JADEstokesxo | 0

#203107 - Saturday 16 May 2009 12:33

was he actually homeless or your friends just thought that?
hmm. FYL though,

By xstaticdelta | 6

#203174 - Saturday 16 May 2009 13:20

FYL for having some awful friends

By Rawrrr14 | 0

#203207 - Saturday 16 May 2009 13:52

wouldn't he have looked homeless? I bet your friends were just mad because a guy talked to you, so they had to say a bitchy remark. I would have been like "I was talking to that "homeless" guy because he's friggen awesome, k bitch?" haha just kidding......

By reetah | 0

#203231 - Saturday 16 May 2009 14:11

..... a COMPLETE stranger says nothing more to you than "you want to go on a date?" and you said yes??
if so, than YDI >.>

Reply

UmbreonKirby | 14

#5949210 - Sunday 18 May 2014 18:15

Yeah. OP brought it on themselves

By audereyy | 0

#203254 - Saturday 16 May 2009 14:34

how old was he?

By Tehalon | 0

#203285 - Saturday 16 May 2009 15:05

What, homeless people not allowed to go out on dates?