Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grauncho 27
Looks like he got dessert with that meal.
xtna 9
The ass grope. By definition the best way to thank someone.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
awkwardloveannie 28
he was repaying the favor
kyu_Q 19
I say YDI. getting your ass squeezed is a compliment. OP you were rewarded for doing something nice.
awkwardloveannie 28
so you'd be fine with someone you don't know grabbing your butt?
ImAFaker 29
Sarcasm.
Sparx1_1 16
Most of these guys are homeless for a reason. Vancouver has a huge homeless population that just gets bigger thanks to all the enabling from people who are trying to "help"
ksks1234 33
People become homeless to take advantage of a free meal (and possible free ass grope)?
TheDrifter 24
Not at all. But it certainly helps them stay that way.
8born8 18
15, so the GFC, unemployment due to job cuts and business closures have nothing to do with the homeless people or how they got into such a horrible situation? Being homeless is not pleasant, and rarely is it an actual choice made by that person. Sleeping on the street or wherever you can find an alcove, shelter, doorway or tunnel/under a bridge where you won't be beaten or mugged by others and surviving on scraps or the goodwill of other people, isn't how a person actually wants to spend their days.
allforyoux3 25
As someone who works with the homeless, people like you really piss me off. Many of them have very complicated pasts and severe disabilities that aren't visible to the naked eye. Unless you get to know a homeless person and learn why they're actually on the streets, don't assume that they're just lazy bums. I always give money or food to people asking for it, because I'd rather help someone in need and not just keep on driving by someone who's cold and starving.
olpally 33
That's probably why he's homeless. He's groped one too many asses and has been fired from every job. FYL, that's nasty.
Grauncho 27
Just stop.
olpally 33
Make me.
CoffeeChickBlows 13
Hahahaha take some anger management, internet tough guy keyboard warrior.
eternal_malaise 10
Bed and breakfast?
JMichael 26
I'd help by directing him to the nearest barbershop. Then to the nearest place with a help wanted sign.
Enslaved 38
Yeah, in a perfect world he'd probably be able to get a job without any problems. Many homeless people are unstable. If you were an employer, would you really want to hire someone that you weren't certain would be able to keep the job vs giving it to someone more qualified? It takes time and money to hire and train an employee. This is one reason why references are so important.
8born8 18
If a person wants something bad enough, they will try to move heaven and earth to achieve their goal. Sometimes, people can't do it on their own and need a helping hand to get started. That one gesture could be the catalyst for them to improve themselves and their life.
HyperFLIGHT 6
In my home planet that is considered rape punishable by having a alien baby. Bad enough of a punishment
8born8 18
What the hell are you smoking?
SystemofaBlink41 27
And while you're at it, can you get me some, too?
Curlytwirly22 17
That is what they call a selfless good deed ;)
perdix 31
For such a large act of kindness, you'd expect him to play with your **** a little, too, right?
RedPillSucks 33
Have you seen the size of her ass?
8born8 18
Black girl got an ass, it aint a secret. White girl got an ass, I wanna see it.... Bubble yum dum, ba dum dum dum da dum... Sorry, couldn't help myself.
ZomBgal 12
Oh, I had to read this again after the comments because I thought it said "mugged" instead of "hugged." Now I don't feel as badly for you because, hey, at least he didn't mug you. Though, the ass grope is a bit too much for a thank you.