Miscellaneous: Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends.... - FML

By I hate that game - United Kingdom - Wigan

Today, I was playing monopoly with my boyfriend and a few friends. After I bankrupted my boyfriend, he turned to me and said, "I fucked your best friend last night, so who really won?" I turned to the best friend in question, she looked at the board and said, "I'd like to buy a house please." FML

I agree, your life sucks

66201

You deserved it

4857

Tweet

Share

This Charming Man

Trans women are women

Make it work

By Anonymous

On yer bike

Today, I replaced the fog lights on my car and completely filled my gas tank. $50+ later, the transmission decided it wanted to go out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1398

You deserved it

87

Tweet

Share

By haaaye - United States

Sounds cosy

Today, my Twitter got hacked, and I can't get it back. Everyone now thinks I live in a trailer and have multiple STDs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1454

You deserved it

246

Tweet

Share

By - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1921

You deserved it

717

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I went in for I thought would be an interview for a promotion, but turns out there was no interview set up, and they'd already decided who would be the next manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1484

You deserved it

112

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I put a sock on my dorm room door to get everyone to think I was getting laid. In truth, I'm a virgin and just wanted to take a peaceful nap. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34151

You deserved it

8531

Tweet

Share

By ART - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year decided to confess to me that almost everything he has told me in our relationship has been a lie. This includes telling me that he was single when we first met, telling me that he loved me, and telling me that I was beautiful. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38404

You deserved it

3140

Tweet

Share

By Husband

Today, my wife called to me from across the house just to look at the penis-shaped period bloodstain on the back of her underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5341

You deserved it

869

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, despite being the fittest member of my family, with a good exercise routine and a decent diet, I'm the only one who was just diagnosed with diabetes. Meanwhile, the rest of my family are fat, lazy slobs who eat like shit, but are otherwise healthy as horses FML

I agree, your life sucks

1801

You deserved it

242

Tweet

Share

By TalkedTo

Today, at 16 years old, I got "the talk" from Dad. He began with "I don’t really need to give you the talk do I? It would just be awkward for us both." I agreed with him, and we drove home in silence. Thanks for avoiding the awkwardness, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3126

You deserved it

344

Tweet

Share

By Catherine - 13/5/2021 11:01

Nice guy

Today, I announced to my boyfriend of 5 years that I was pregnant. He gave me an ultimatum. Either I "get rid of it" because he’s "not ready to be a dad" or he’ll "put me out on the streets." I’m unemployed and have nowhere to go if I keep it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1250

You deserved it

306

Tweet

Share

By Rae - United States - Chicago

Today, after weeks of intense studying with the intent of pulling my grades up, I saw that in fact, they've all gone down. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25765

You deserved it

3367

Tweet

Share

By feartheend511 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43064

You deserved it

3642

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 2/9/2020 23:01

Running late

Today, my in-laws missed a special event for my newborn child because they were running an hour late. They always run late and always think its funny. After 15 years, it's just not funny anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1561

You deserved it

188

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16608

You deserved it

31964

Tweet

Share

By well then - United States - Forest Park

Today, my girlfriend randomly confessed to basically having a "phobia" of monogamy. But don't worry, she defensively assured me she's never ever cheated on me, even though I never said she had, so I guess that's okay then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27724

You deserved it

2443

Tweet

Share

By GetAnotherRoomAlready - United States - Singapore

Today, I woke up at 2 AM to the sounds of my roommate and his girlfriend on Skype, playing a game of, "No, I love YOU more, baby, schmoopy schmoopy schmoopy schmoo". It went on for around half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19785

You deserved it

1682

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13084

You deserved it

32128

Tweet

Share

By -_- - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52680

You deserved it

7532

Tweet

Share

By notinthebutt - United States

Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15296

You deserved it

64139

Tweet

Share

By Chefinblack - Australia

Today, at my prestigious sous chef job, I was preparing to plate up expensive entrees for a function of 150 people. After arriving to work 2 hours early to finalize finishing touches, they call the restaurant 5 minutes before their booking stating, 'We can't be bothered anymore, sorry.' FML

I agree, your life sucks

25842

You deserved it

1512

Tweet

Share

By picaru - United States

Today, is the first day of my honeymoon. It has been 6 years since I took a "real" vacation. We have 3 kids and a small house, and now we have 9 days alone in random hotels to do what couples do on their honeymoon without kids... Day one, I got my period 7 days early. FML

I agree, your life sucks

84282

You deserved it

5282

Tweet

Share

By jons - United States

Today, I went to the doctor for my yearly checkup. After getting my blood-pressure taken, my finger pricked, etc, the doctor began to ask me some questions. When asked if I was sexually active, I responded "Yes". The doctor started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

51366

You deserved it

3579

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United Arab Emirates - Dubai

Today, I am on vacation in Dubai with my dad and a few of his friends. I thought we were going to travel and see some amazing things, but I'm confined to my hotel room while everyone drinks and watches Family Guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44783

You deserved it

4710

Tweet

Share

By suffersecks - United States

Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38447

You deserved it

6157

Tweet

Share

By HomeChump - United States - Chicago

Today, I was so proud I'd fixed the toilet with a hardware store part without even having to call a plumber. As I happily put the lid back on the tank, I dropped the lid, which broke the tank, spilling water everywhere. Now I need a new toilet, a new floor, and I have to call the plumber. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13959

You deserved it

2545

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40400

You deserved it

6571

Tweet

Share

By itchyitch - United States - Monterey Park

Cheapskate suds

Today, it turns out the beautiful, "organic" artisanal soap my boyfriend gave me actually came from the 99 cents store. He just wrapped it in some cellophane and gave it to me. I’m currently itching to death from the godawful rash and hives it gave me. I may need to go to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1803

You deserved it

215

Tweet

Share

By Myorafield - Australia - Glenwood

Today, my sister made a comment about my small boobs. I told her I'm actually a C cup, and she told me she "can't even C them". I just got roasted with a fucking pun. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10612

You deserved it

1304

Tweet

Share

By sickofthesmelltoo - Australia - Fitzroy

Smells like… victory

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36557

You deserved it

3071

Tweet

Share

By PISSED - Germany

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I call her to find out where she lives. She answers the phone only to hear my father yelling in the background, "stop talking to that whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks

41099

You deserved it

5168

Tweet

Share

By Taylor D - United States

Today, I went to Walmart to get some acne cream. As I approached the register, I looked in my wallet for the money. The cashier saw that I didn't have enough money, and before I could say anything, he goes "Just take it, I've never seen anyone who needs it that much!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

44990

You deserved it

4481

Tweet

Share

By dog_day - United States

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28316

You deserved it

2684

Tweet

Share

By Kittykatkrunch - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend was crushing on his best friend. When I found out I asked him about it. He replied. "Don't worry babe, she is perfect and way too good for me". FML

I agree, your life sucks

39645

You deserved it

3047

Tweet

Share

By quirrus - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52814

You deserved it

9773

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Fremont

Today, my son's teacher asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He put down "unemployed". FML

I agree, your life sucks

18038

You deserved it

2065

Tweet

Share

By ew. - Canada

TMI

Today, I learned that I was conceived on a public bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45158

You deserved it

4838

Tweet

Share

By notcool - United States

Today, I learned that my anxious and obsessive mother is going to drive three hours every weekend to attend a Johns Hopkins medical course on stress reduction. Why is this bad? I just left home for college and have enjoyed my last two weeks of freedom without her around. I attend Johns Hopkins. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39254

You deserved it

3308

Tweet

Share

By Mustanggt - 1/11/2020 14:01 - United States - Rochester

The diet plan from hell

Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

779

You deserved it

255

Tweet

Share

By Almost_Homeless - Canada - London

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46902

You deserved it

3384

Tweet

Share

By bird - United States - Fort Gratiot

Today, I learned that my new parakeet hates her reflection, and will screech loudly day and night unless I take the mirror out. My other parakeet loves the mirror and constantly cries out when I remove it. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47597

You deserved it

6131

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By meowmafia98 | 8

#5765565 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:40

You do mean ex boyfriend right? And ex best friend?

By uoeno_fml | 20

#5765566 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:40

I'd rather have sand dumped in my driveway

COMMENTS

By meowmafia98 | 8

#5765565 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:40

You do mean ex boyfriend right? And ex best friend?

Reply

uoeno_fml | 20

#5765574 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

And ex monopoly board too, right?

Reply

Somuchart | 3

#5765603 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:50

God dammit that's why I hate monopoly

Reply

ym520_fml | 21

#5765622 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:57

That's the boyfriend and the so-called best friend you have to hate here.

Reply

jillytc | 23

#5765657 - Saturday 23 November 2013 20:21

monopoly- ruining friendships and relationships since some bastard created it

Reply

swaggalikethat | 22

#5765674 - Saturday 23 November 2013 20:28

I think this round went to Op's boyfriend. Lets just thank God we have games like monopoly to bring people together.

Reply

8born8 | 18

#5765721 - Saturday 23 November 2013 21:14

51, thumbs up for the attempt of humorous sarcasm... Too bad it goes *whoosh* over some peoples heads.

Reply

27inch | 9

#5765816 - Saturday 23 November 2013 22:22

I'm sorry OP... And everybody is saying monopoly is terrible, but at least it made you figure out this terrible fact. It would have been much worse if this was hidden from you for a long time. You will find a better boyfriend for sure

Reply

Sports_guy3 | 28

#5765824 - Saturday 23 November 2013 22:29

Yeah, she'd like buy a house for her upcoming child.

Reply

krupa1017 | 18

#5765918 - Sunday 24 November 2013 0:22

Monopoly; ruining relationships since 1933.

Reply

nix1993 | 41

#5766094 - Sunday 24 November 2013 3:36

#35: We were playing whilst drunk a couple of years ago, and my brother stabbed me in the hand with a fork. I still have 4 teeny little scars on the back of my hand.

Reply

Bojack_fml | 10

#5766164 - Sunday 24 November 2013 4:35

This was legitimately a funny reply lol

Reply

Freethaawave | 19

#5766185 - Sunday 24 November 2013 4:48

#125 Omg put it as your profile photo lol

Reply

nix1993 | 41

#5766212 - Sunday 24 November 2013 5:19

I don't know how well you can see it, I think they're more obvious if you tilt your screen back, but there you go!

Reply

A07 | 48

#5766325 - Sunday 24 November 2013 8:38

The last time I played monopoly, I bankrupted my mom because of which I did'nt get fed for the next two days.
So yeah, I kindof avoid playing it now.

Reply

GRgoldfish | 19

#5766579 - Sunday 24 November 2013 15:48

well by the sound of it, it seems that op's friend has regretted it. at the same time maybe not. good luck op.

Reply

nix1993 | 41

#5766945 - Sunday 24 November 2013 22:33

Unless you're under the age of 10 there's really no excuse for not being able to feeding yourself...

Reply

nix1993 | 41

#5767064 - Monday 25 November 2013 1:37

Ok, I did write 'for not feeding yourself' then tried to change it to 'not being able to feed yourself'. Apparently my proof reading skills need a little work. Which is unfortunate, seeing as I work as a freelance book editor.

Reply

kaitlynjane | 28

#5767347 - Monday 25 November 2013 6:32

Actually, I like "to feeding yourself." Adds to the stupidity of the person you're talking about :P

Reply

Freethaawave | 19

#5770299 - Wednesday 27 November 2013 19:32

135 - I see it! Lol thanks that was kinda exciting for me :)

Reply

Stazza11 | 27

#5772273 - Friday 29 November 2013 17:17

Monopoly - ruining everything since it was bloody made.

By uoeno_fml | 20

#5765566 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:40

I'd rather have sand dumped in my driveway

Reply

Gingerette | 8

#5765698 - Saturday 23 November 2013 20:49

It pays in thumbs to pay attention, eh? I commend you.

Reply

misUnderstood23 | 9

#5765769 - Saturday 23 November 2013 21:55

Haha i agree.

Reply

larrena2377 | 26

#5765854 - Saturday 23 November 2013 22:59

I see what you did there :)

Reply

kamikrazy | 6

#5765929 - Sunday 24 November 2013 0:45

I don't get it.

Reply

klsydggn | 16

#5765976 - Sunday 24 November 2013 1:53

It's from a previous FML post.

Reply

Curtis66 | 19

#5765995 - Sunday 24 November 2013 2:50

I haven't seen a reference to another post before

Reply

randigos | 3

#5766249 - Sunday 24 November 2013 6:15

Slow clap for you, mister! I really lol'd.

Reply

EternalRest | 5

#5766350 - Sunday 24 November 2013 9:44

#2 wins the comments section for this FML.

Reply

elcee1987 | 18

#5766466 - Sunday 24 November 2013 13:12

#2 ftw!

Reply

cilla27 | 1

#6680588 - Monday 29 August 2016 18:44

I was thinking the same thing!

By ericcrash | 13

#5765567 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

Always those darn houses!

Reply

8born8 | 18

#5765744 - Saturday 23 November 2013 21:34

I wonder what tokens they were playing with?... I hope the skank was a wheelbarrow, the douchebag bell end was the iron and OP was the top hat.

Reply

Enslaved | 36

#5765749 - Saturday 23 November 2013 21:37

I'm surprised she wasn't more interested in the-- hotels?

Reply

Exhaling | 12

#5766317 - Sunday 24 November 2013 8:16

#72 I guess I understand the wheelbarrow and top hat... since the wheelbarrow let's anything that fits ride in it, and the OP is classy? Sorry if I am mistaken.

Reply

8born8 | 18

#5766516 - Sunday 24 November 2013 14:45

Exactly right. top hats are classy. that's what I was getting at, metaphorically speaking. I'm glad someone got it.

By ermagherdaturdis | 26

#5765568 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

That sucks OP, that's a really childish thing to do. FYL.

Reply

TheBrochure | 22

#5765661 - Saturday 23 November 2013 20:22

Just goes to show that cheaters never win.

Reply

Readoll | 13

#5766296 - Sunday 24 November 2013 7:39

OP is the real winner anyways.. Her friend is now with the cheating ass loser

By SixthSinEnvy | 39

#5765569 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

Why doesn't she just take the home she's already wrecked? Bitch.

Reply

addioty | 19

#5765585 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:43

"They call me homewrecker, homewreckerrrr."

Reply

littlerawr | 13

#5765776 - Saturday 23 November 2013 21:58

that comment made my day.

Reply

dachshundsrule | 7

#5765910 - Sunday 24 November 2013 0:17

This deserves an award. Lolololol

By parism143 | 28

#5765570 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

So many relationships broken apart thanks to the Monopoly Man...

Reply

Ambrily | 27

#5765628 - Saturday 23 November 2013 20:00

It wasn't monopoly to cheat on OP...

Reply

jujubean0531 | 5

#5765875 - Saturday 23 November 2013 23:24

Seriously, like the previous fml lol

Reply

onlychildFTW | 33

#5766096 - Sunday 24 November 2013 3:41

Hey, monopoly is an important game! It's all about winning!!!

Reply

You_Screwed_Up | 7

#5766626 - Sunday 24 November 2013 16:44

Monopoly Man: the anti-Cupid

Reply

HoboRain | 15

#6395342 - Friday 28 August 2015 7:13

nothing good ever comes from playing monopoly

By Ananym | 7

#5765571 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

Hoping you mean "ex-boyfriend."

Reply

kinky44 | 28

#5765988 - Sunday 24 November 2013 2:40

You couldn't have missed #1 up there saying this already, so why say it again?

Reply

skyttlz | 32

#5766334 - Sunday 24 November 2013 9:02

Plus you do realize that if OP said ex it would indicate that they are already exes.

Reply

CaptainCommenter | 6

#5820211 - Wednesday 8 January 2014 0:22

@118: Why don't you look at the time of the two posts before commenting. This comment was posted ONE MINUTE after the first. They were probably typing at the same time.

By froggyjade | 16

#5765572 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

Your boyfriend's an arsehole and your mate's not much better, hope you ditched them both!

Reply

Sports_guy3 | 28

#5765766 - Saturday 23 November 2013 21:52

So her ex friend and ex boyfriend can be together.

Reply

starile | 19

#5766309 - Sunday 24 November 2013 8:00

And continue being distrustful whores for the rest of their lives!

Reply

froggyjade | 16

#5766493 - Sunday 24 November 2013 14:10

They deserve each other! Then the op can find a new boyfriend and friends who value her :-)

By igive | 29

#5765575 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:41

Did you smash the board over his head and bang her head on the table? I would have.

Reply

Senseless_487 | 29

#5765654 - Saturday 23 November 2013 20:19

I think her friend has had enough banging.

Reply

CallMeMcFeelii | 13

#5765752 - Saturday 23 November 2013 21:38

No such thing as too much banging! You could be bloodied and sore, yet still bang like no tomorrow!

Reply

Zimmington | 21

#5765948 - Sunday 24 November 2013 1:02

That's some kinky shit you're into #76.... I atleast take a break for some Apple juice

Reply

False_Stupidity | 41

#5766267 - Sunday 24 November 2013 6:49

I tried to make some Apple juice once, but no matter how much I squeezed, all I got was broken bits of glass and electronics, no juice

By DDiddy | 12

#5765577 - Saturday 23 November 2013 19:42

Monopoly is never a good game to play...especially with adults!

Reply

nuzzle8 | 2

#5765952 - Sunday 24 November 2013 1:04

Oh man I think it's about even with adults and teenagers..... Both for different reasons, teens usually because they end up chasing each other with bats, etc.