Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML
I agree, your life sucks 43 245
You deserved it 6 133

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Just play it off cool, "Ya officer I was practicing singing for my metal band."


I hear the next Adele coming.. Or a flock of birds

BubbleGrunge 18

Nooo, you keep doing it, trying to sound more bird-like. Just pretend you have no idea what could be making the sound, laugh it off to them and the police. They'll call the cops again, each time, no bird. Then, one day, you use their assumed craziness for your own evil deeds. I've not decided what those deeds should be, but there's bound to be some uses there. Plus making people think they're going crazy sounds fun.

#7 adele sounds nothing like a screeching bird

pwnman 33

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pwnman 33

Ugh, with this FML scrolling bug, I make mistakes. I meant to say that when they find out there is no animal living in OP's house, he can say he realized its his singing and he will therefore be quiet.

BlueFlatts 20

Screw the neighbors. I find it difficult to believe that they thought you were a bird.

Wow they should have checked up on you

Just play it off cool, "Ya officer I was practicing singing for my metal band."

"I'm shooting for a Skid Row/Judas Priest screech effect"

Roskosity 22

You sing all you want. As Elphaba says, "They're never gonna briiinng meeeee doowwwnn!!!! Oh woahohoh!!"

Try to explain to both the police and the neighbors that you're a horribke singer, OP. This made me laugh :'P

BlueFlatts 20

If you sang a lot would you want to tell the police and neighbors that you suck at singing? I find that ignorance is bliss.

Ok sorry, that wasn't right. Try to explain to both that you were singing, OP.

I could be wrong, but don't birds screech anyway? Sans abuse?

Aero_x 21

I have a couple of parakeets and they are always screeching at eachother because the male wants kisses, but the female ends up pecking his face if she isn't in the mood :D

cadillacgal79 32

Is it weird I find that strangely adorable?

juturnaamo 29

My female parakeet dropped her mate on his head for that :( when parakeets say no, they mean it.

Damn. Either you are the most ear splitting banshee ever to plague the earth, or your neighbor is the punking king.

Dreamsorrow93 24

Buy a cd with animal sex noises and bury t under their bedroom window.

Do they even sell that? Admittedly, it might be more musical than some of the stuff on the radio, but still, that's kind of creepy. Also, once you search for that, advertisements for bird sex sound cd's will begin to flood your banner ads.

I'm not sure what burying it would do. Playing it may have a better effect.

Burying it hides the evidence that op was weird enough to not only google animal sex noise cds but actually purchased one.

Dreamsorrow93 24

Or bury it so the neighbor won't find and turn it off.