Sure he could've bought a footlong from subway, but I s'pose that's too mainstream.

Should have given him 500 pennies.

Maybe he was constipated and needed the roughage.

Oh, double meanings...

Why the downvotes for 77? I always buy the veggie footlong that's $5 and I always pay $5.35 for it...

38 - Who the fuck carries around 500 pennies? Lol besides it would take too long to count all that.

I wonder what money looks like coming out the other end...

Honey, 38 was being sarcastic...

He just truly wanted some money to eat.

Yes, impossible if he was swallowing 500 pennies at once, but I don't think it's that difficult to wad a five dollar bill up and eat it.

He could have made them last, savor the flavor of each like mentos.

Subway footlongs are actually over five dollars after tax!

77 - I've paid for a five dollar footlong with a $5 bill and no change before, so I don't think that's the case.

Where I live there's tax on them damned $5 foot longs ):

I agree, whether he chooses to buy a meal or eat the money thats his choice.

This post is obviously a lie. Like most of them, but this is just obvious.

Guess we know WHY he's homeless though. He ate away at all of his money and savings...

Quite the literal homeless guy!

45 Don't forget how he ate his house, too!

Definitely wouldn't want him to take me out to eat! O_O

4- Did you call?

He might poop it out and buy alcohol then.

For the sake of the liquor store cashier, I sure hope not.

This is true. Not many homeless people are true to their word. I give props to this one

He didn't buy alcohol because clearly he was already high as fuck to be eating money -_-

Better yet, give him 500 pennies. Now THAT would be something to see.

Just give him one penny... That way, he could reuse it in a couple days.

Fail :/ some comments sound a lot better in my head ... I'll slowly take the FML walk of shame now

Do you know what eating involves? If you get your money intact on the other end, then you haven't gotten anything from ingesting it...

Nevertheless, if you could actually gain sustenance from dollar bills and then turd them back out it could be a nice way to save money or reduce starvation...

That's why I feed all my money to my pet unicorn; it comes out as pure gold and diamonds.

Yes, I accept I'm faults I shall go now.

Welshite: Wouldn't that be a leprechaun? I thought that's what their pots were for.

ManIntTheMachine: You're right, it's just a well-disguised bidet to rinse the incoming gold pennies. Fire in the hole!

ManInTheMachine: Leprechauns are cheeky, devious little bastards who continue to hide their pots of "gold" from me. I've followed dozens of rainbows, catch sight of the little people, but they sprint off before I can catch them. The most I've gotten from them are vulgar slurs and gestures. That is why I continue to use unicorns.

I don't know...once when I lived with my sister her dog ate the rent money. It came out in poop, it wasn't eaten away by stomach acid.

55, that's because paper is indigestible. For the record, so is 500 pennies.

Learn something new everyday.

Money isn't printed on actual paper tho....

You would have a valid point... if it wasn't completely invalid that is. He asked for "money to eat" which is why he ate the money.