Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a homeless man asked me for some money to eat. He ate the five dollars I gave him. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML
Today, I gave up my seat on the subway for an elderly man. He thanked me by grabbing my ass. FML
Today, trying to do a good deed, I gave a homeless guy a $10 bill. As I walked away, he yelled after me, "You fucking bitch!" FML
Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML
Today, I was outside, eating a sandwich, when I noticed a homeless man was standing in front of me. Upon making eye contact, he grabbed the rest of my sandwich and ran off. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, as I was walking towards my friends at the bus stop, a man came up to me and asked me out. This was the first time I'd be asked out in months. I accepted. When I reached my friends they looked at me then asked, "Why were you talking to that homeless guy?". FML
Today, I was walking on a main street downtown. Suddenly, I felt someone slap my butt. I turned around, expecting to be my girlfriend who was to meet me there and almost gave an old homeless man a kiss on the cheek. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Grauncho 27
Looks like he got dessert with that meal.
xtna 9
The ass grope. By definition the best way to thank someone.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (98)
Enslaved 38
So when someone buys you dinner that doesn't mean you automatically need to put out as a thank you??
perdix 31
It's not automatic, but if don't, you get expect many more free meals from that person. ;)
Enslaved 38
Reminds me of one of my bar guest: Girl: What's the market price of the lobster? Guy: You know if you order that we're ******* tonight! Girl: I'll have the chicken.
perdix 31
#36, so, what did the chicken cost her?
Enslaved 38
Not sure but a **** was involved. :P
perdix 31
#39, and a pullet, I'll bet.
martin8337 36
Op, did you enjoy it?
emirie 21
If she did, she wouldn't be posting about it on FML.
Vegnas 13
Could've been worse. At least he didn't pick-pocket you wallet out of your back pocket.
misUnderstood23 9
Thats what you get for doing something nice huh?
thissexyguy96 11
He was just paying u bak the only way e knew how to pay u bak the "perv way"
8born8 18
Please use proper words, grammar and sentence structure. You're only portraying yourself as an illiterate, dim witted moron.
RedPillSucks 33
I'm sure Bubba wont mind.
buckdharma 38
Luckily you didn't buy him the Grand-Slam breakfast or he wouldn't have stopped at second.
8born8 18
The feeling you get from helping someone and doing a good deed is awesome. Aaaaand there it goes....
maxinator5000 7
Sounds like a win win to me.
pinchepriscyla 9
Well at least he was grateful