Today, the phone rang, it was some woman who wanted to speak to my dad. “It’s probably his mistress,” I said jokingly. Turns out it was. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML
Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say, "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML
Today, I got a call from the guy I have been seeing. I wasn't him. It was his wife wondering why I have her husband's number. FML
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the other house phone to make a call, and had heard it all. FML
Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML
Today, my phone rang for the first time in four days. It was my mom. She dialed the wrong number. FML
Today, my wife and I were doing it when the phone rang. She answered it, and rode me while carrying on a more than a five minute conversation with her father. FML
Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML
Today, I accidentally called my Dad “Babe” on the phone. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend and when he answered, I said the dirtiest thing I could think of to him on the phone. After a long silence, I heard, "Lacey? Is that you?" I accidentally called my dad. FML
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Top comments
Jaymail 19
Be sure your Mother has the telephone number she was calling from from your Caller I.D. And/or make sure your Cell Phone is set to record and in an inconspicuous place in the same room your Dad talks to his Mistress on the phone for your Mother.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You should be a detective. Just don't go near the D.B. Cooper case. It's too good of a mystery to be solved.
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Comments (5)
Jaymail 19
Be sure your Mother has the telephone number she was calling from from your Caller I.D. And/or make sure your Cell Phone is set to record and in an inconspicuous place in the same room your Dad talks to his Mistress on the phone for your Mother.
RichardPencil 32
She calls on the landline? How old are they? The fact that she's a "mistress" instead of a "side piece" makes me think they are all ancient.
John Nemeth 14
I bet you got those dam telemarketers after that awkward call.
BurnInDemonFire 39
You should be a detective. Just don't go near the D.B. Cooper case. It's too good of a mystery to be solved.
pjsr 33
It sounds like your phone must be on a... party line!