By GM38 - 23/06/2012 02:57 - United States - Melbourne
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I believe mars13 was referring to the poster of this comment who said "well as long as it was his" like as long as it's his baby it's all good. Also, even if she is older it doesn't say they were trying for a baby. I don't think they would be trying for a baby anyways as it is pretty apparent things probably weren't going to well in their marriage.
274- I actually completely agree. I feel like people nowadays don't take marriage seriously enough, or don't understand what responsibility/work it really is at times. And there are some people, who are never mature enough to understand this, but get married anyway because of numerous societal expectations and such. Hence, divorce rates in this country are ridiculous. 293- I don't know you, so I can't say how mature or not you are, and by no means do I judge you for your decision. But I cannot even IMAGINE tying my life to someone forever at 16. I have just barely begun to live my life and become the person I want to be. So how could I promise someone the person I am today is who they'll have forever, when I know that I (and my life) will be totally different ten years from now? And I'm 22, and have been in a great, stable relationship for three years.
Docbastard: after 35, it is recommended that women not have children as the chance for down syndrome and other birth defects are much higher. This is fact however, my 39 y/o cousin just had a healthy baby. Regardless, I doubt women in their 50's will be having babies as they should have hit menopause by their late thirties or late fourties. You have to understand that women know their child bearing limits.
324, I thought the same thing. However. here is a theory: In CA, once a request for a divorce is turned in, months later a judge makes their decision, and after the involved parties are granted a divorce, they aren't divorced for 6 months. So maybe the original poster meant the judge granted the divorce today and they had sex days before someone requested the divorce?
Gotta love that double standard. The mothers posting on this fml all seem to agree that they have all the rights and the ex husband should just shut up and pay, and be happy to do it. I say if she agreed to divorce him before she knew, he should be treated as an anonymous donor. Let the op take all legal and financial responsibility for her choice to raise the child or not.
That's definitely going to put a bit of a bump in any new relationships...
Just tossing this out there? If she divorced him, why should he have to pay child support? And let's say it's slightly different circumstances where she knew she was prego before the papers were served. It was her choice to leave, shouldn't she have to take all the responsibilities associated with leaving?
211 that's the stupidest thing I've heard in quite awhile. First of all, just judging by the way the fml is worded, I'm assuming she found out after the divorce. Second of all, you should not have to stay in a loveless relationship because you are pregnant. The father of the baby should still support his kid, no matter what the circumstances. He made half the baby, and he's probably half responsible for the divorce. And even if he isn't, he still shouldnt get anal about supporting a baby he helped make.
It's her child, her right to choose to keep it or not. The only part he has in the process from here on out is to pay for her choices. The "it's half his" argument is seriously getting old. If he has the responsibility to pay for the upbringing, shouldn't he get some say in it? Maybe a fair chance at custody? Option to let the mother keep the financial responsibility along with the child if he does not want it and she chooses to keep it?
211- You sound pretty fucking dumb. My dad pays child support on me even though he and my mother got a divorce. He is VERY involved in my life. The divorce hasn't changed anything. He buys me nice things, and still pays a hefty amount for child support. He tells me that whenever he gets a raise, I do too. There are some good- hell, AMAZING fathers out there. And if you have a child with someone and you separate, you STILL have to pay child support. Just because you divorce doesn't mean the child disappears.
IMO, if you've been married and had a child together than later on decide to get a divorce then so be it, you take responsibility for it because you both went in expecting everything to work and it didn't. But when the child is conceived in a time when she plans to leave him then it seems like it is entirely her responsibility. As far as he is concerned he is still in a marriage, and therefore knowing that sex may lead to childbirth is not necessarily a bad thing to him. She was the one having doubts and reconsidering the relationship while still engaging in sex, so in a way he was deceived. I know the courts would rule in favour of what is best for the child, which makes sense, but it doesn't change the fact that the father was effectively screwed over.
276 where does it say that she wanted the divorce? It clearly states it wasn't a good day for her so maybe he initiated the divorce and she got pregnant during their last encounter. Maybe they tried to make it work but failed. It's his kid, he has an obligation to be there physically and financially as does the mother!