Today, my sister made me a "hearty" breakfast. It was a large bowl of oatmeal which consisted of 10% raw oats and 90% Nutella. This started ever since our medical tests results came out about a month ago. She and her husband registered as diabetics, their son is pre-diabetic, and I came out clean as can be. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister was concerned that her daughter (my niece) was sick, and hesitant to take her to the ER. I asked if she'd eaten something she shouldn't have, and she replied, "No, especially since we feed her the most healthy food we can." This was fine until I flipped out when she said, "We even give her raw milk so that she'll be strong." FML
Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML
Today, I was diagnosed with severe nut allergies. My dad decided to buy jars of Nutella, write "You know you want this" on them, and stick them around the house. FML
Today, after taking vacation time to visit her, my mom told me she was glad I was leaving so she could get back to her diet. I'm prediabetic and have been trying to manage the condition. She ordered dessert at every meal and was the only one in the family who did. FML
Today, I told my mom I was finally going on a diet. She let me know how proud she is of me fighting temptation, by making my favorite cookies and dinner. FML
Today, my parents brought home lunch from a shady grocery store deli. They mused about how hard I am to feed because I turned it down; the last time I ate anything from there, it gave me botulism, and it tastes horrible anyway. They both got sick. Now I'm playing nurse to both. No apologies yet. FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Today, I ate some amazing homemade brownies that my best friend's wife made for us. She waited till I'd shoved a third one into my mouth before she mentioned she made them with breast milk. Knowing her, I don't even doubt it was true. FML
Today, I bought ingredients for one of my favorite meals and went home to take a nap. When I woke up, my sister had cooked them for everyone else in the house, who ate it all without me. I was told that I shouldn't be angry, but instead proud of my adult sister because, "She cooked!" FML
Today, to make a good impression, I brought in homemade blueberry muffins for my newish coworkers. Everyone loved them, up until the guy with a nut allergy had to be rushed to the hospital. Turns out my almond milk wasn’t as "nut-free" as I thought. Welcome to the team! FML
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Top comments
Hangryko 32
Those parents need a talk from someone about what to feed their son.
Perry Winkle 6
Well, if your sister is having to make your breakfast then that's what you get!
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Comments (3)
Perry Winkle 6
Well, if your sister is having to make your breakfast then that's what you get!
Hangryko 32
Those parents need a talk from someone about what to feed their son.
Lost Reggie 22
Is she trying to give you diabetes as well?