Get some rest

Today, I dislocated my shoulder doing a really big stretch when I woke up. After the doctor relocated it, my dad told me I still had to do my chores. No excuses. FML

Today, I managed to fracture my shoulder blade and dislocate my shoulder, just by falling off a deckchair. FML

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. How? I went to a party with some friends and they each bet me $20 I couldn't lick my elbow. I guess I proved them wrong. FML

Unimpressed

Today, my doctor told me that I have severely and permanently injured my shoulder. Last week, I attempted to lift more weight than I normally do in an effort to impress my boyfriend. He was not impressed. In fact he said that most kids can lift more than that. FML

Today, I sneezed so hard that I re-dislocated my shoulder. FML

Today, my shoulder was pulled out of its socket when I was helping a customer load a desk into his vehicle and he decided to answer his cell phone. FML

Bullshit quack chiropractor on the loose!

Today, I told my family how my wrist has been hurting for almost a week. My aunt’s chiropractor boyfriend then decided he could help by suddenly pulling my hand as hard as he could. Not only did my wrist pop and cause me more pain, but my shoulder got dislocated. FML

Today, I dislocated my collarbone while trying remove my bra without taking off my shirt. FML

Today, after coming home from the hospital after I fractured my foot, I fell in the bathroom and dislocated my wrist. The ER doctor couldn't stop laughing. FML

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML