Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, I ate two Fiber One bars for breakfast and now I can’t stop farting. FML
Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML
Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Today, I ate one Benefiber gummy and spent half the day and good chunk of the night in misery with an upset stomach, where it felt like a lump was in it, as well as aggressive and painful gas, and painful diarrhea. FML
Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I thought I’d do something for my digestion and forego the after-lunch coffee, as it always makes me gassy. Well, without the coffee apparently all the gas just stayed inside. Whatever it did in there gave me a pretty awful stomach ache. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
cliffibom 15
Did you spill your beans?
oj101 33
How on earth did such a food get approved by regulatory bodies?! And why would you consume these if you well knew what might happen?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (55)
desertlovebird 11
This is by far the funniest post and comments, sorry for the sharts op, hope you learned your lesson..
KM96 24
Ouch that sounds nasty!
hazardmuffin 21
Any food that comes with a side effect warning really isn't worth eating. I mean, if they have to write MAY ACT AS LAXATIVE on the package, you've got to assume it was a pretty big problem to warrant a label. If you don't want/can't eat real jellybeans, just...give up jellybeans. FYI, the reason sugar-free jellybeans are apt to make your ass leak is that they're made with sugar alcohols that have a low absorption rates and so slide right through your system and can cause all kinds of gastrointestinal weirdness, as well as a high amounts of soluble fiber as a thickening agent. :)
PonyTails13 3
That's isomalt for you.
mmaflake 19
Where can I buy these? Must prank everybody.
cmb8280 24
YDI. I would never buy candy that says it may have a laxative effect on me. Just... Wtf, man...
sofiery 9
You know mints have a laxative effect if you eat to many at once, and so do energy drinks... loads of people have those daily
mikeymayhem_87 15
Sugar free-based stuff will give you the boom booms. Even gum!!
RtardSupport 2
That sounds uncomfortable OP you oughta just pass those on to someone you dislike.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Lol never heard of those kinda jelly beans.
Kelishas 9
FYL. Ew. Jelly beans are not good enough to take the risk that they might turn into laxatives..