Today, I discovered the "may have a laxative effect" warning on my sugar-free jelly beans should actually read "don't fart after consuming". FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, in preparation for a presentation at work, I decided to take a handful of vitamins to fight my cold. As I was putting the bottles away, I noticed one of them was a laxative. FML
Today, I ate two Fiber One bars for breakfast and now I can’t stop farting. FML
Today, I learned that the vomiting and uncontrollable flatulence I've been suffering from is normal with my new diet. FML
Today, I discovered that the wintergreen breath mints I've been taking for a week now, are actually circular, flavored, white and green laxatives. FML
Today, I read the instructions on my new prescription constipation medicine: "For best results, defecate before use." FML
Today, I ate one Benefiber gummy and spent half the day and good chunk of the night in misery with an upset stomach, where it felt like a lump was in it, as well as aggressive and painful gas, and painful diarrhea. FML
Today, my doctor put me on some extra strength antibiotics for an infection. On the label it says "WARNING: may cause Diarrhea"... 'may cause' is a funny term... this is the second time I've sharted in my pants today. FML
Today, I figured I needed to go on a diet when I discovered I could make farting noises with my neck. FML
Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML
Today, I thought I’d do something for my digestion and forego the after-lunch coffee, as it always makes me gassy. Well, without the coffee apparently all the gas just stayed inside. Whatever it did in there gave me a pretty awful stomach ache. FML
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Top comments
cliffibom 15
Did you spill your beans?
oj101 33
How on earth did such a food get approved by regulatory bodies?! And why would you consume these if you well knew what might happen?
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Comments (55)
alpaquette91 9
I just laughed so hard!!
itsjusyme 11
Fantastic
whY402Jay 12
I just sharted.
Myo_fml 20
Yuck, I feel for you. I had the same experience a week ago after having eaten Walmart deli chicken. Nothing is more humiliating than cleaning yourself up after ******** yourself.
limitedition 25
I try to avoid ingesting anything with those kind of labels. If those kind of GI symptoms popped up (or out) that quickly just imagine what kind of long term damage could be occurring to your body if you continued to eat them.
rattusrattus 18
Speaking as a diabetic here: AVOID SUGAR FREE SWEETS. HAVE SMALL PORTIONS OF NORMAL SWEETS. MUCH TASTIER AND LESS LIKELY TO CAUSE THE DIRE REAR. Thank you.
Kkkdawg 27
THANK YOU! I'm also diabetic and sugar free crap is just that-crap. I find most 'sugar free' stuff is just 'no sugar added' and it still contains carbs so it doesn't really make a difference anyway. To be honest I've never actually seen anything that was legitimately sugar free in the 18 years I've had diabetes.
akiahara 14
Diet drinks are sugar free. You must not read well. But I support the statement that sugar free crap is crap. You'd be surprised at some of the no sugar added stuff though. Half the carbs of its regular counterpart. Like "lite" Hershey chocolate syrup, or popsicles.
anyoldnamewilldo 23
Actually, you subtract the sugar alcohols from the total carbs to get the "net carbs" in a product. Reason being that sugar alcohols do not spike your blood sugar levels.
mikeymayhem_87 15
Diet drinks still have sweetener in it. That is what causes people to have bowel issues
Kkkdawg 27
52 I should have clarified that I meant candies and stuff.. Beverages are pretty much the only thing that actually don't have any sugar.
XSabinX 3
Oh God. Remember Olestra chips? "May Cause Anal Leakage." The worst though is when you make Nestle chocolate milk with way way too much mix. It's bad. Really bad.
twinkiefeets 17
What the **** kinda jelly beans are you eating!!!
Mr_Serious 6
sugar free jelly beans? jelly beans are 95 ******* percent sugar, therefore you deserve it for consuming such a goddamn abomination!
JCal585 8
YDI. Why even eat them?