Miscellaneous: The blame game - FML

The blame game

By Anonymous - 12/01/2016 14:44

Today, I'm mad at my dad for forgetting it's my birthday. He's mad at me for not reminding him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 777

You deserved it 1 907

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Same thing different taste

By mydadforgetsme - 04/11/2015 17:26 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my dad forgot it's my birthday. When I told him about it, he accused me of lying and threatened to ground me for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 686

You deserved it 1 466

By Ya_I_said_it - 26/07/2016 15:31

Today, I've been so stressed out that I forgot my own birthday. I only remembered when my mom talked to me to let me know she wasn't planning on doing anything for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 611

You deserved it 1 506

Classic Mom

By secret - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Ashford

Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 413

You deserved it 2 300

Sorry dad

By janess - 09/03/2021 11:00

Today, I forgot my father’s birthday. My father means the world to me, I just have a shit memory. FML

I agree, your life sucks 773

You deserved it 407

This guy grudges

By PocketTrash - 20/03/2020 21:00

Today, my dad is still mad because I tossed his empty coffee can over 3 days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 387

You deserved it 222

By Anonymous - 09/11/2013 22:30 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, I heard my dad complaining that he won't be able to go to a concert, because it's happening on my birthday. This is the first time he's even acknowledged my birthday in over ten years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 765

You deserved it 3 310

Lovely parents

By sigh - 18/11/2019 01:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my parents forgot it was my birthday. They ordered me to scrub the common bathroom, and when I asked if they remembered, my dad's reaction was "Oh! Really?" My mom's was "I thought that it was next week." What lovely parents I have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 322

You deserved it 187

By Anon - 01/04/2015 06:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my brother mentioned my dad's birthday party. I said, "What party?" He said, "Shit, forgot I wasn't supposed to tell you." My own father doesn't want me at his party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 157

You deserved it 3 583

By MeanMother - 28/06/2012 20:29 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 962

You deserved it 91 201

By Anonymous - 01/07/2011 01:27 - United States

Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 750

You deserved it 2 815

Next

Top comments

mld4657 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:29

Well im not your father but Happy Birthday!!!!

InfestedCarOwner 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:35

Your dad sure is a special kind of asshole, huh?

Comments

mld4657 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:29

Well im not your father but Happy Birthday!!!!

crudeandrudeguy 29

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:37

As far as you know...

mld4657 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:47

O.o good point sir buttttt im not an asshole I wouldn't forget

GhostFox 33

Wednesday 13 January 2016 2:06

But #1 is a lady, so they would have had to be to be OP's mother? O.o

XxDanno316xX 27

Wednesday 13 January 2016 3:09

14, I feel like you missed the joke mate :)

mld4657 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 3:32

hmm I dont remember having children. well im a crappy parent then

jms1555 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:29

That's just shitty..

jms1555 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:30

And happy Birthday by the way!

Moskaaa7 26

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:33

A vicious cycle of people being mad at each other!

UncleCaitlyn 21

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:33

To get him back put a fake spider on his phone

InfestedCarOwner 15

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:35

Your dad sure is a special kind of asshole, huh?

ananicosia 28

Wednesday 13 January 2016 3:58

A bleached asshole

thefmlman2011 36

Wednesday 13 January 2016 4:44

hahahaha

Scarylizard1798 23

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:36

Ah parents

nzhx 23

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:36

Happy birthday, OP! I'm sorry it seems to not have gone as nicely as you'd hoped, but I'm sure despite his pride, your father is wishing you a happy one as well

Tejanoswhy 19

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:39

Your dad is an asshat but happy birthday

rissamarie 24

Wednesday 13 January 2016 1:56

Hey it's my birthday too! Happy birthday OP!

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The Top

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 256

You deserved it 1 045

Today, I sat down and worked out I get paid £26000 a year for working 40 hours a week. Meanwhile my boss gets paid £115000 to answer emails when he remembers to and to attend 5 hours of mandatory meetings a month, which he now does over video chat from his vacation cottage in Scotland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 103

The Top

Today, my nose finally unblocked after a week of having a cold. Now all I can smell is the disgusting stench of my husband's pits. We've argued three times already about his refusal to shower more than once a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 018

You deserved it 132

Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 267

You deserved it 5 989

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 184

You deserved it 3 523

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 335

You deserved it 4 494

Today, during my lunch break, I sat on the manager's chair. As I sat down, I heard a snapping sound and I ended up on the floor. Everyone now calls me "the lumpy girl" who broke the manager's chair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 436

Today, after two rounds of antibiotics, I got a yeast infection. My husband started calling me "Yeasty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 101