By Heather - United States - Newport News Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML I agree, your life sucks 28358 You deserved it 12684 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By culodegrillo - Spain Today, a woman approached me in the street and slapped me, ranting about how I stole her man. I don't even know her man, or her, and I live over a thousand miles away in Scotland. I'm back in town for the first time since my childhood to attend a wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 51927 You deserved it 3261 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By whatiswrongwiththeworld Tsk Tsk Today, I was told off by a random woman who said that I should be ashamed of myself for dating such an older man. I was having dinner with my dad. FML I agree, your life sucks 5775 You deserved it 272 22 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Sam - Netherlands - Groningen Today, my colleagues were excitedly talking about going for drinks after work. I heard one of them ask, Is Sam coming?' and shortly after leave without me. I'm Sam. FML I agree, your life sucks 27667 You deserved it 3663 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my boyfriend gave me a dutch oven, with my own fart. FML I agree, your life sucks 9859 You deserved it 40031 186 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I was in a bathroom stall and someone had left their dirty tampon rolled up in toilet paper on the top of the paper dispenser. I felt obligated to dispose of it, so the next person didn't think I left it, because there was a line for the stalls. Fuck you, asshole. FML I agree, your life sucks 1639 You deserved it 175 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fijiflu Today, at work in a call center, I went into my locker to get my pain pills from a recent surgery. When I opened the bottle, half my pills spread all over the floor. My boss walked by and said, "I knew it!" FML I agree, your life sucks 21442 You deserved it 1514 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fastfoodslave - United States - Northampton Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML I agree, your life sucks 40700 You deserved it 6796 125 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fwick - United States Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML I agree, your life sucks 88889 You deserved it 4983 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Kay - India - Nagari Today, I discovered that my 20-year-old son has been using my bras for his jerk-off sessions. FML I agree, your life sucks 68046 You deserved it 6444 120 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML I agree, your life sucks 47826 You deserved it 7585 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Kill Devil Hills Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML I agree, your life sucks 39894 You deserved it 3062 170 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I walked in on my mom ranting on about what a useless bitch I am. She was talking to my cat. It's not the first time this has happened, either. FML I agree, your life sucks 35420 You deserved it 3977 122 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Eeeek - Bulgaria Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML I agree, your life sucks 14081 You deserved it 52635 374 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By liltravol23 - United States Today, the only cute girl in my office made fun of me because I'm 27 and bring fruit cups with my lunch. FML I agree, your life sucks 25101 You deserved it 4581 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mom of 3 Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping... or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML I agree, your life sucks 2815 You deserved it 387 18 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Stalkerella Today, I asked my neighbor to kindly move his truck because it blocks my driveway and the side entrance to my yard. He responded by throwing a decapitated bird onto my front lawn and filing an injunction against me for stalking. FML I agree, your life sucks 4565 You deserved it 252 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By efmylife - United States Today, I threw a paper ball into a recycling bin backwards. I don't know whats more sad: the fact that that was my highlight of my life, or I had been attempting to make that shot every day for 3 years. FML I agree, your life sucks 31846 You deserved it 7136 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Special wedding Today, on my wedding day, when they said "you may kiss the bride", I swung my wife over in the romantic fashion and went in for the kiss. Unfortunately my hands were sweaty as I was nervous and she slipped under my grip. She fell and was knocked unconscious in front of hundreds of people. FML I agree, your life sucks 2126 You deserved it 1346 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kit_kat14 - United Kingdom Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML I agree, your life sucks 25389 You deserved it 4854 197 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mclovin09 - United States Today, my wife entered in an ugliest sweater competition at her work. She wore a plain white sweater with a picture of my face printed on it. She came home with first prize. FML I agree, your life sucks 40967 You deserved it 4084 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Dandy Today, after having given up video games for two weeks to focus on school, I finished my last exam of the semester and finally became free. I got home to find that Steam is down worldwide. I just received an email saying every game on my wish list is on sale, but I can't log in. FML I agree, your life sucks 7151 You deserved it 781 28 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By but I tried anal and everything - United States - Des Moines Today, in break from tradition, I proposed to my boyfriend. We were at a Japanese Pagoda. Water was trickling everywhere; the moment was perfect. While I was on my knee, after pouring my heart out, he looked wistfully out over the water and said, "So, I was thinking pizza tonight." FML I agree, your life sucks 33683 You deserved it 6670 262 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wintersoldier - Austria Today, while trying to comfort my little brother who just injured his leg, I tripped and sprained my ankle. At least he was amused. FML I agree, your life sucks 24965 You deserved it 2352 27 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By souped - United States Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I decide to take a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted rotten chicken. Turns out my grandma knew I drink her soy milk and decided to swap it with expired chicken broth. FML I agree, your life sucks 10644 You deserved it 42390 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my mother asked me if she could borrow $200. Being the lovely daughter I am, I gave her my bank card to withdraw it herself. She gambled it away and maxed my bank account out. I had $1500 saved. FML I agree, your life sucks 45582 You deserved it 20702 127 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By tahneee Today, I went to a function with my dad for a football team. Handing my dad the camera, I finally worked up the courage to ask for a photo with my favourite player. The guy was looking at my boobs in all three photo attempts. FML I agree, your life sucks 1646 You deserved it 203 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By amazinghermit - United Kingdom - Glasgow Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML I agree, your life sucks 31033 You deserved it 6505 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ring-a-ding-ding - United States - Sparks Today, at work, due to a mix up, I had to call an answering service. I am also from an answering service. We got the problem fixed but I couldn't hang up due to company policy. She couldn't hang up either. We both had to get our supervisors for permission to hang up. FML I agree, your life sucks 37096 You deserved it 3568 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By areyoukiddingme - United States Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML I agree, your life sucks 31372 You deserved it 6657 123 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Malaysia Today, while in heavy traffic on the highway, a motorcyclist managed to t-bone my car. He picked himself up, glanced at the side of my car, and quickly drove off, all in the space of a few seconds. I just got an expensive paint job on this thing. FML I agree, your life sucks 26731 You deserved it 3013 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By asdfasdf - United States Today, I was sitting beside this cute guy on a bench. Suddenly, he goes, "I know we don't know each other very well, but would you like to have dinner on Saturday?" I turn to him with a goofy smile, and exclaim "I'D LOVE TO!" He gives me a weird look, turns his head and points to his Bluetooth. FML I agree, your life sucks 78762 You deserved it 22467 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Haze - New Zealand - Wellington Today, my parents finally fulfilled my childhood dream and got a puppy, after years of me nagging at them. The only downside is that I no longer live at home and he's not mine. FML I agree, your life sucks 22349 You deserved it 2183 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bitchimgay - Canada - Montreal Today, I went to my local coffee shop. I soon witnessed the girl making my drink apparently dislodge a wedgie from her ass-crack and then sneeze into her hands. When I confronted her, she loudly accused me of "visually molesting" her. FML I agree, your life sucks 28990 You deserved it 2320 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By stupidrobot - United States - Seattle Today, I had to complete a simple math problem to submit a web form in order to show that I wasn't a spam robot. I got it wrong. I'm officially too bad at arithmetic to prove I'm human. FML I agree, your life sucks 21296 You deserved it 8277 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By bad birthdays - United States - Los Angeles Today, it's my birthday. When I asked my mom if we were gonna do anything special for my birthday. She said, "don't lie to me. It's not your birthday." FML I agree, your life sucks 48898 You deserved it 3437 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Where is the faith in Humanity - United States - Tacoma Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML I agree, your life sucks 44278 You deserved it 9003 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WhoaThere - United States Today, a cute guy asked for my phone number and I gladly gave it to him. I was feeling really good about myself for getting hit on by the star football player. That was until he called 8 times and left 5 messages. In 2 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 28367 You deserved it 9614 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By never-even-owned-a-car - 30/8/2020 17:02 Broke Today, it's the tenth anniversary of me getting my driver's license. My record is perfect: no accidents, no tickets. Today is also the tenth anniversary of the last time I drove a car. FML I agree, your life sucks 1083 You deserved it 469 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By jules - United States Today, an older man sat next to me while he ate his lunch. He dropped what I assumed was his cutlery. Wanting to help out, I picked it up off the floor. It was his teeth. FML I agree, your life sucks 29129 You deserved it 5011 66 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lookwhereyasittin - Netherlands - Den Haag Today, it was the first day in my life that I fell into a toilet because someone left the toilet seat up. I'm a guy. FML I agree, your life sucks 17851 You deserved it 6553 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By strawberrywine22 | 27 #4618782 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:14 Trust me, it could be wore. My son took the "rocket ship" he found to school for show and tell. My daughter used it to massage her grandmother's feet. Send a private message 197 6 Reply
By gonad_gobbler | 1 #4618804 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:16 You have smart kids! They knew vibrators and pussies go together! Send a private message 170 7 Reply
By lilcuz69 | 16 #4618756 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:11 You still gonna use it? Send a private message 35 69 Reply
Reply xXxIracebethxXx | 14 #4618834 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:20 Well, cat piss is better than lube... Send a private message 0 4 Reply
Reply xXxIracebethxXx | 14 #4618861 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:23 Well, cat piss is better than lube... Send a private message 1 1 Reply
Reply mylifesucks_fml | 1 #4618866 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:23 maybe they thought it was a cat toy? or a treasure? just say "no no, you guys have toys and this one is Jimmy's special toy!" Send a private message 14 4 Reply
Reply doctorhook86 | 24 #4618889 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:27 What's the problem? The kids put the vibrator with the pussy... Send a private message 166 3 Reply
Reply Oreohugzpenny | 4 #4618957 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:42 The cat will have fun with that!!!! Send a private message 8 0 Reply
Reply shjenn | 7 #4619096 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:32 HAHAHAHAHA! that's disgusting but so hilarious. poor cat... woulda freaked out if it started vibrating while it was buried :( Send a private message 23 2 Reply
Reply efemel94 | 7 #4619212 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:17 Wells dogs like chewing on a bone so why not cats? Send a private message 14 2 Reply
Reply domking1315 | 20 #4619529 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:53 #30, that wouldve made a much better first comment haha Send a private message 11 1 Reply
Reply reddawn1985 | 12 #4619540 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:55 Why would they touch that? Grotty Send a private message 1 9 Reply
Reply alex1432 | 9 #4619633 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:34 great comment my friend Send a private message 1 10 Reply
By LadiDi_fml | 10 #4618759 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:12 Time to get a new vibrator Send a private message 38 39 Reply
Reply anoellem | 1 #4619085 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:29 Or just get a new vibrator? Send a private message 32 10 Reply
Reply iStrukk | 7 #4619158 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:51 Thats not the right pussy... ;) Send a private message 33 2 Reply
Reply pxndiieinsanity | 6 #4619225 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:19 They got the right idea,at least. ;p Send a private message 16 2 Reply
Reply domking1315 | 20 #4619536 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:55 So you would disown a child for a vibrator? What kind of trade off is that? Send a private message 3 8 Reply
Reply Mioko_fml | 6 #4619607 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:22 Why did 3 get many thumb down though 59 said the same thing but got thumbed up. What the hell? Send a private message 38 1 Reply
Reply ThisBiatchFMLs | 5 #4619872 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:49 Theres such thing as sexual toy cleaner Send a private message 2 2 Reply
Reply sporty1200xlr | 6 #4620183 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 9:15 96 - that's because the people are imagining her use it. You get a visual picture to the comment. Send a private message 6 1 Reply
Reply yourlifesucksHA | 14 #4624224 - Thursday 28 June 2012 4:11 Damn right!! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Reply coldashell | 23 #4618825 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:19 That was so deep and meaningful. Send a private message 80 1 Reply
Reply la_gata_0716 | 5 #4618902 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:30 You know how many people used that already? It's not funny anymore. Trust me! Send a private message 41 2 Reply
Reply Rectumended | 3 #4618984 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:46 Restrain from making pussy joke. Restrain from making pussy joke. Send a private message 50 7 Reply
Reply You_Screwed_Up | 7 #4619034 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:05 Now it will pleasure a different pussy. Send a private message 55 2 Reply
Reply coldashell | 23 #4619042 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:06 50, the word you are looking for is REFRAIN. Send a private message 74 6 Reply
Reply Fuzzymonkey2013 | 7 #4619168 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:56 Ha Send a private message 1 13 Reply
Reply rcgirl2 | 11 #4619331 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:14 How original.. Send a private message 7 6 Reply
Reply LegalyWhite | 7 #4620126 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 9:07 55- we all understood what he was trying to say Send a private message 10 1 Reply
By Monkeyone | 0 #4618763 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:13 please wash it...or just throw it away. Send a private message 0 3 Reply
By nadnerbz | 6 #4618765 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:13 Why would you bury it where your cat relieves itself? Send a private message 6 75 Reply
Reply Awahso | 25 #4618796 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:16 Because one is a place of relief while the other is an object of relief ;) Send a private message 28 2 Reply
Reply strawberrywine22 | 27 #4618811 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:17 The key word there is AND. Her kids found it AND buried it in the litter box. Send a private message 33 2 Reply
Reply nadnerbz | 6 #4618864 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:23 Whoops, I read that wrong. I thought she hid it there, my bad. Send a private message 18 11 Reply
Reply ShyAnn29 | 14 #4618972 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:44 Don't feel bad 24, I did the same thing! Send a private message 9 6 Reply
Reply maz255 | 10 #4619347 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:23 Dumbasses... Send a private message 16 13 Reply
Reply ShyAnn29 | 14 #4620421 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 10:55 84, we just read it wrong, that doesn't mean we are dumbasses! Send a private message 2 7 Reply
Reply SpruceDread4578 | 13 #4620958 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 15:50 Yes it does. Send a private message 10 4 Reply
By SarcasticUnicorn | 9 #4618767 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:13 Maybe you should find another hiding spot. Send a private message 10 37 Reply
Reply Daffodilly | 14 #4619245 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:24 No shit Send a private message 2 11 Reply
Reply Inheritance | 10 #4619327 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 3:07 You don't say? Send a private message 2 9 Reply
By Monkeyone | 0 #4618768 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:13 please wash it...or just throw it away. Send a private message 84 11 Reply
Reply Forlorn420 | 9 #4618940 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:36 Now it will be purrfect.. Yea lame Send a private message 57 1 Reply
Reply mpsteve137 | 15 #4619093 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:32 Haha it must smell terrible if they thought to put it there Send a private message 32 0 Reply
Reply bertman21 | 5 #4619754 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:10 What's worse the fact that they found it, or that it's in the litter box? Send a private message 6 1 Reply
Reply iamabamf | 17 #4619932 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 7:11 43-You've cat to be kitten me right meow. Oh, you're not lion? You're fur real? I had to paws and think about cat one. Send a private message 28 2 Reply
Reply Byahhh | 3 #4620033 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 8:03 Whichever pussy got residue on it, it's bound to smell unless you wash it anyway. Send a private message 8 1 Reply
Reply AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml | 12 #4623377 - Thursday 28 June 2012 2:47 110- WIN XD Send a private message 2 1 Reply
By TheApocalypse | 5 #4618779 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:14 Wow. What a shitty situation. Find a better hiding spot OP. Send a private message 2 28 Reply
Reply evilplatypus | 38 #4618856 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:23 You said what post 2 and post 7 said. Two plus seven equals nine, your post number. I smell a conspiracy... Send a private message 52 1 Reply
Reply antmanzero | 8 #4619024 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:01 @21 Holy shit...IT'S THE GOVERNMENT MAN, THEY'RE OUT TO GET US! O.O *head explodes Send a private message 15 4 Reply
Reply cutemonsterx3 | 6 #4619840 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:40 And his name is theapocolypse Dun dun duunnnnnn! Send a private message 0 0 Reply
Reply cutemonsterx3 | 6 #4619850 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 6:43 TheApocalypse** Send a private message 1 1 Reply
By strawberrywine22 | 27 #4618782 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:14 Trust me, it could be wore. My son took the "rocket ship" he found to school for show and tell. My daughter used it to massage her grandmother's feet. Send a private message 197 6 Reply
Reply strawberrywine22 | 27 #4618854 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:23 worse* Typo, oops! Send a private message 46 2 Reply
Reply Awahso | 25 #4618873 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:24 That would be a great story to tell your son in front of his friends when he turns 16 or so. The reaction would be priceless. Send a private message 108 1 Reply
Reply yoursucklives | 36 #4618904 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:30 maybe you should hide it better? Send a private message 31 7 Reply
Reply XxChioxX | 0 #4618954 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:42 Haha thats too funny... Send a private message 10 0 Reply
Reply duckiegirl21 | 10 #4619181 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:00 Please tell me it was tossed after touching granny feet! Send a private message 18 0 Reply
Reply dude1122332 | 9 #4619299 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:50 70, no it's proudly in my shrine.(: Send a private message 5 2 Reply
Reply Wicked361 | 8 #4619307 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 2:58 Imagine what the teacher roughy when he/ she saw the "rocket ship"... O.o Send a private message 10 1 Reply
Reply SherBear133 | 7 #4619474 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 4:27 How did u manage to let it get found twice?! Send a private message 8 0 Reply
Reply AvengedSevenfold_fml_fml | 12 #4626968 - Thursday 28 June 2012 20:18 I would have loved to see the reaction on the teacher's face XD Send a private message 2 0 Reply
By gonad_gobbler | 1 #4618804 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 0:16 You have smart kids! They knew vibrators and pussies go together! Send a private message 170 7 Reply
Reply Dr_Kash | 3 #4619128 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:41 Hahaha .... The connection Send a private message 3 1 Reply
Reply HerrBawl | 4 #4619555 - Wednesday 27 June 2012 5:02 This is Egg Zachary what I was going to post. Send a private message 0 2 Reply
Reply BradTheBrony | 19 #4630510 - Friday 29 June 2012 18:09 Cats and vibrators... delicious chicken fetus spheres and Zack the Lego maniac... OH MY GOD I THINK I SEE THE CONNECTION! Send a private message 1 0 Reply
Today, having regularly given my husband blowjobs, I suggested, mid-session, that he could maybe reciprocate. He complained that I was wet, begrudgingly... I agree, your life sucks 315 You deserved it 14 4 Comments
Today, my fiance told me that his father would need to check my hymen is intact to ensure I'm pure before we get married. This is a new one. FML I agree, your life sucks 961 You deserved it 93 19 Comments