lay in bed making buzzz noises. Seriously have a conversation, if she likes the toy incorporate into your love sessions. If there is something else she isn't getting then she needs to talk to you. Women that won't tell their partner what they want are getting what they ask for.

The vibrator is your rival. Level up or stand by! GET READY FOR WAR

be glad she didn't name it after an ex, or a female friend

Sounds like you've been replaced...

just go through the damn thing in the trash then tell her the real things right here and if you don't want it pack your shit

It means you've been made obsolete by technology, Steely Dan. You must go. Find a Luddite woman who actually prefers dull human-on-human sex

"mother of my children" Not gf, not wife, not significant other. Nope. The baby maker shut her doors. Maybe she's tired of having your kids and a vibrator will never get her pregnant.

Get a fleshlight or similar and name it after her.

Perhaps try to please HER during sex? Maybe she’s not satisfied and needs a sexual release that you haven’t been providing.